Look at this way: What kind of pathetic loser hangs out in a gas station parking lot at 8 in the morning, for no apparent reason?
I don’t think there’s anyone alive who hasn’t been floored by some strange asshole’s comments, and I also don’t think there’s any defense against it making you feel bad. When I think of all the nasty comments (intentional and unintentional) that I’ve heard in my life, I could just curl up into a ball and sob. But, we tell ourselves that they don’t know us, pick up our self-esteem off of the floor, and move on.
Hey, I’ve got an idea we can try - next time someone says something mean to you, compliment the next person you see. Maybe the good feeling you get from being nice to someone will wash away the negative feeling from someone being mean to you.
I’m sorry this happened to you. Some people just have no clue. But remember, you had to deal with these idiots for a few minutes. They have to deal with themselves for a lifetime. Now, that’s a punishment almost too painful for anyone!
I think this little tale makes a perfect case for carrying pepper spray at all times.
Maybe spraying down the interior of their car, their clothing, their eyes, etc. would make them think twice about shouting insults at random strangers in parking lots.
Not a big advocate of violence in general, but really, violence is the only language ingnorant carrion-felchers like this understand. They don’t have enough folds in their cerebral cortex to understand that it’s wrong to be mean to people, but that reptilian core of the brain can associate bad behavior with extreme pain…
{{{{{Captain}}}}}. I can relate to the depth of hurt you feel.
When I was in the mid-stages of recovering from eating difficulties and accompanying overweight, I went to an get-to-gether of on-line friends–similar to the doper get-to-gethers. One person took pictures and posted them on line. Someone who had not attended took it upon themselves to post captions to the pictures. Primarily derogatory captions. I was just starting to come out of my self-imposed cocoon, feeling pretty darn good about how I looked. And ka-pow! Apparently I was still disgusting. The pain put me in a tailspin. Took me months to get back on an even keel. One of the biggest lies we are ever told is “sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” Yeah, right.
So, I offer you hugs. And prayers (or thoughts if you prefer). Don’t let those bastards get you down. Self-proclaimed “beautiful people” usually aren’t.
Thank you all so much. It’s times like these that I am reminded why I love the SDMB community so much.
The biggest fear I have is reverting back to my old ways and beginning to binge and purge again. I am also scared for all those poor girls out there who develop eating disorders in part because of the things people like this say.
Being an ex Bulimic, I do know that comments like this from strangers didn’t cause my eating disorder. I do realise that Anorexia and Bulimia are diseases. However, idiots like this just remind me of the way I felt when I believed that being thin and beautiful was the most important thing in my life. I suspect that a lot of other girls feel this way too.
Comments like this from strangers also makes me very sad. It reminds me of what a superficial and looks consious world we live in. People are praised on their looks, when no one has control over whether or not they were born beautiful. In every magazine, we see beautiful models and the columnists are gossiping about how much weight a star has lost/gained, how much plastic surgery a star has had, the new star diets etc. And the nedia portrays an unrealistic image of beauty, which 99 percent of the time is unattainable for the average person, unless they have the money for dieticians, personal trainers, and a ton of plastic surgery.
That’s why I love this board so much. People are praised on their intellegence, their sense of humour, their wit, their achievements. No one fawns over the most beautiful dopers simply because they happened to have been born stunning.
Sorry to ramble, but I haven’t been put down like this for such a long time and it hurts so bad. I have had bad days in my recovery (I will always be in recovery. Unfortunatly, this disease is for life) but this is the worst day I have had in a long time.
I want to extend the deepest thanks to all of you who have posted. Your kindness brings tears to my eyes and reminds me of what “beautiful” really means.
Awww featherlou, you rock! (And I’m not just saying that because someone insulted me! 
)
P.S. I forgot to say, Cap’y Blunty, I’m giving the guys the benefit of the doubt by assuming they were at the gas station to conduct their daily morning sniffing of gas fumes, which explains their arrested development, not to mention their stupidity. Please don’t think these men represent the views of anyone not high on benzene.
Oh Blunty hon. I’ve been there myself, many times.
If it’s any consolation karma will bite them in the ass in about 20 year’s time when assholes just like them do the same thing to the daughters these guys will invariably have. (Having your kid insulted hurts worse than being insulted yourself.)
I like the pepper spray idea. I wonder if any lawyer dopers would be willing to educate us on the legality of spraying someone who verbally assaults you …
(Paintball guns would work too now that I think about it.)
See, this is why we need ENK (Earl needed killin’) laws. Okay, just joking there … but some people do need a cap in their ass, no?
Oh, here’s a story for you that might make you feel a bit better, or at least make you smile.
I was getting ready to head to the pool with my heathens and we had to stop at a store to pick up a few things for grilling after swimming.
Well, I’m a pretty unique individual with the way I dress, and I’m a touch chunky as well. But, I always say I don’t care what others think, and my man likes the way I look and I like the way I dress.
Anyway, I was wearing my bikini top and my long full tie-dye skirt to cover my bottoms. Cool, and easy to slip on and off for swimming. Actually I tend to live in that skirt in the summer time.
And as I walked into the store to teen girls started giggling in my direction behind their hands.
And as I walked past them one said to the other “Oh my god, did you just see that!” and more giggling.
So, I calmly turned to them and informed them that some of us are proud of our bodies and secure enough to wear what pleases them and not what pleases others, and that some of us were not only taught better manners, but used them as well.
They were floored! It was great! What made it better was when one of the girls mother rounded the corner hearing the whole thing and called the girl on it! “I told you that your mouth would get you in trouble. How would you feel if someone made fun of you?”
I was so proud of myself!
I can be myself online and I can pretty much say what I want online, but in public I tend to keep things to myself and then stew over them with my friend.
My friend was also proud of me since he says I don’t stick up for myself often enough.
I think you did the right thing by walking away from them, and just let it roll off your back hon.
They must be pretty insecure about themselves.
One of the things I love about the boards is that nobody pays attention to what the other poster looks like and we all have something to share.
We tend not like people for their looks, but what their words and thoughts say about them.
Oh that’s awful! I’m so sorry those arseholes did that. That kind of shit hurts out of all proportion to what actually happened and you can rationalise all you want but it hurts.
Geez, what a world we live in 
I am so sorry. FWIW, I’ve been there and back, and have the postcards to prove it. Junior High was hell for me, as I had severe acne and was (and still am) overweight. But for grown men to do that…that’s just amazing. While those of their lowly ilk are beneath notice, their comments were still hurtful. Anyway, I like you fine just the way you are. Yeah yeah, I know I stole it from Mr. Rogers, but it’s true.
Don’t feel too bad about it. I’ve been called all kinds of names, fat, ugly, you name it… I don’t believe I’m any of them. Insecure people will say almost anything about anyone to make themselves feel better about their own flaws. Trust me. It only reflects on their self esteems, and shouldn’t have any bearing on yours.
I’m not the type to be giving “hugs”, I’d rather help you turn their 4x4 into a 3x3 with an axe. Someone’s probably said this already, but you’re taking that way too personally. They’d have said something like that to anyone going by who didn’t look like they could kick their ass. This happened to me once in a parking lot with a friend, and if there’d been a lug wrench around, I’d… probably have had my ribs broken by them.
Well, just try to remember assholes like that exist, and unless you look like you belong in a motorcycle gang, they’re gonna hurl abuse at random people. Doesn’t mean you can’t despise them for it, but you’re way out there thinking it has something to do with you. Tell us if you get to use the pepper spray next time. 
As you know, it’s nothing about you and everything about them. Grown men who behave like that are defective.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I always wondered what made people yell out hurtful comments towards others with no apparent reason. But I think that’s the point - there’s just no reason. They don’t mean to insult you personally, they just mean to insult whoever is passing by.
Personally, I think it’s that by setting you down it makes their sorry asses feel better. I’m thinking this because I experience this a lot while jogging. When I am jogging by people usually yell: “Look at the fatass go!” or “You need to train more so your fat doesn’t jiggle!” At first I was devastated (I was just starting to feel better about my weight issue), but since I lost about 20 pounds when I was training for a marathon and am by no means chubby anymore, it’s still happening. I figure it’s because I’m jogging and they’re not.
So don’t let this get to you too much. They’re just assholes. And if you still have nagging doubts regarding your appearance: don’t. While you probably don’t look like a supermodel (who does when going out for cigarettes - have you looked at pictures of celebrities at home???) this has nothing to do with it, but with issues of insecurity. Theirs, not yours.
Hence, don’t let this add to your insecurity, let this add to the knowledge that there are people out there who care for you, while there probably aren’t a lot of people caring for those idiots in the car.
Sadly, my mother is the same way. She feels no compunction whatsoever about making remarks about people’s weight in front of them. She’s so insecure about her own appearance that she feels the need to make herself feel better by making others feel worse.
Mom made an issue of my weight for years. I was always too heavy, even when I wasn’t. At one point, I met the weight requirements for the Army, which are pretty strict. That was still too much for Mom.
Now that I’m an adult, I don’t have to buy into her bullshit. She brings up my weight every time I talk to her. I deflect the conversation by making it clear it isn’t fodder for discussion. She also knows that if her behavior persists, that I am fully prepared to hang up on her, walk out of her house, whatever it takes to bring home the fact that her behavior isn’t acceptable, and that I will not tolerate it.
Cap’n Blunty, those boys were assholes, pure and simple. Whatever their motivation, it wasn’t good. It’s a shame they felt the need to insult a total stranger. They’re going to end up with serial marriages, if they can find someone shallow enough to marry them.
Robin
I have a friend that asked the veterinarian assistant what was wrong with her arm (she’d had a stroke – it was withered). I was visibly shocked at her rudeness. She said, “What? I wanted to KNOW!”
Whatever.
Some people just don’t get it.
Blunty, dear…take some snarky advice from an old hand at dealing with loudmouth assholes.
If it happens again, stop dead in your tracks, open your eyes real wide and just LOOK at them. Then point out the obvious.
“I can lose weight. I can fix my hair, dress up, wear makeup, change my appearance any way I choose. YOU will never gain another braincell, and i’d bet the one you have is lonely.”
Hold your head up and walk away.
You have company. Thirty years ago I was jogging and some young men in a car yelled out that I looked goofy. I still remember the insult and am bothered by it. It seems to be human nature to care too much about what other people think about us.