Hitler was a vegetarian. He liked to tell people who were having broth that they were “drinking corpse tea”. So, people who give you shit about what you are eating are just like Hitler.
Those people who make negative comments about your food don’t have lives. Pity them for their sad ways.
IF Problem = Not-Solved THEN goto $LANDMINE
A small level of discomfort is acceptable. I myself will sometimes eat more than I should, and then just that little bit more again. (it is only wafer thin…)
“Hey now! Don’t be getting your STUPID in my food!”
[Homer Simpson Voice]
Mmmmm… Infected Cow Teats…
[/hsv]
Stories like this make me so grateful that we taught our kids that it was the height of rudeness to negatively comment on others food, or even your own if we’re all eating the same food, at the table. From when they were tiny, no yuck faces, no “I don’t like peas”, nothing. They can say “no thank you” when offered something they don’t like, or even say “I don’t care for that”, but beyond that- no way.
Boorish behavior just irks me.
watch what they eat for a few days. then bring in exactly what they have been eating. if you are a light eater just don’t bring that much.
Because we all ate a big greasy Gyro for lunch and you make us feel bad because we know we will die before you. Make us feel better and go eat in a closet.
Why would anyone have to do this? Why would anyone feel the need to do this in order to avoid stupid and unnecessary comments by others?
WTF?
Exactly. I’ve said to people before "the only comments appropriate when someone is eating: “enjoy” or “bon appetite” " Lean forward earnestly with that cheerful is-it-getting-through mum look that you were given when you were - what - one? two?
Option two: “You’re not just being rude, you’re fucking with my digestion” and squish it in their face.
My response is usually: “You’re not my mother nor do you have to eat what I’m eating. Go away quietly.” Of course, that doesn’t work if the person making the comments happens to, in fact, be my mother!
Just point out the following facts from Wikipedia
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there are 500-1000 types of bacteria that live in the human gut and another 500-1000 different varieties on the skin.
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There are at least ten times as many bacteria as human cells in the body (approximately 10^14 versus 10^13).
While they are agape with that ‘deer in the head lights’ look, ask them not to drool in your food.
Never attribute to malice what is most probably tactlessness. Forgive.
“Corpse tea”? I am going to have to remember that one.
My late uncle enjoyed milktoast, which is just buttered toast in a bowl with warm milk poured over it. His name for it was “graveyard stew”.
Why would you even argue with someone like that? Just stop eating and stare at them while they rant. When they stop, ask “Are you done?” If they start up again, just say “No, you’re done.” Keep this up until they leave. Resume eating.
Perfect.
Why do you eat it if you hate it? You’re pretty weird sometimes.
OP: Does this happen all the time or was it just a particularly weird day at work? You should give people “see-food” when they comment on your lunch. Or retch at them.
I just say “And that affects you How?” in a very puzzled tone.
Get one of those fake dog turds, get it in peanut butter color, or paint it, but retain that “fresh off my neighbor’s lawn” look. Put in tupperware lunch box, surrounded by celery sticks smeared with real peanut butter. Hold it in your lap so that when someone comes in, you swivel in your chair so that they can see directly into your lunch box. Remove peanut butter smeared celery stick adjacent to fake dog turd, and crunch! munch! yummee! For bonus points, extend the lunch box and offer to share.
Problem solved.
“Yogurt?!?! Are you aware that’s a dairy product? I don’t eat dairy products anymore. My neighbor is a dairy farmer, but he’s one of the good ones. But he has told me stories about some of the practices of other dairy farmers. You see, when a cow’s teats are infected, they should not be milked; their milk is contaminated with puss and bacteria. But many farmers go ahead and milk them anyway, and no one will know since all the farmers’ milk gets mixed together in the same truck. So it’s likely your yogurt contains milk from cows with infected teats.”
“Ewww, gross! Here, throw this away for me!” as you chuck it at their head from across the room.