I got a phone call from one of my friends this morning. He just proposed marriage, and his girlfriend accepted. 
So, Maastricht, do you, uh, want to talk about it?
The really interesting question, to my mind, is not why I fell in love with my wife, but why I STILL love her. Falling in love is easy - I’d done it before, after all. My wife is beautiful, smart, funny, independent, and kind, and has an amazing rack. But I’d dated other girls with more or less all those qualities.
But ten years later I still love my wife, whereas the other women didn’t last more than a year or less, so why is that?
To be honest it’s hard to pin it down, but I will say this; it just feels comfortable to be around her. We don’t have to be doing anything in particular; just being in the same house has always felt natural. I never felt that way with anyone else before; I always felt, with anyone else, that I was on stage to some extent and had to act a certain way. I don’t feel that way with my wife at all.
Why is that? Probably a thousand items of basic personal compatibility, and I can think of dozens right now I could list but won’t bother to. Because it all comes down to the basic point; it feels right to be near her.
Because she sent me Bacon Salt.
He knows not just the main lyrics, but the introduction to the song Laura. Man, that is a hardcore lover of music.
And that’s just the first thing that I found out about him.
Who would have thought that of Zeldar? Fastest man to ever drive a car backwards down Harding Place. The only man to take me for a barefoot walk through a freshly plowed field on a date. The guy who won my heart by taking me to splash in puddles of rain water outside our favorite jazz radio station thirty-five miles away.
We’ve been married almost twenty-two years. Now he sits and holds my hand. And he comes to the door when I drive in and asks me if I need help with anything. When I’m sad, he holds me and asks if there is anything he can do. He drives four hundred miles just so that I can take off to the beach with an old college roommate. Just this morning he told me that I’m pretty.
We are in our mid-sixties and met on our Commodore 64s and a BBS in 1985. I’ve always thought it had something to do with that Instant Delight key.
Because he wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Because he’s at the shop right now buying me chocolate.
Because he looks after me when I’m sick, and mocks me when I’m hungover.
Because he’s still prepared to sleep in the same bed as me despite the fact I kick and steal the duvet.
Because he loves me.
Um, can I just say…
AWW.
That just warms the cockles of the heart, it does.
olives, I want to say that Mr. Lissar has decided that the proper household response to “I love you” from now on will be, “Like what? Like an armadillo? Except with hair.” He’s reminded me three times today already.
Which goes along beautifully with the other random StraightDope-isms in our household. “Christmas won’t be Christmas without any serpents!”
Too, too many reasons to list. But here are a few, in no particular order:
He feeds and takes care of all our critters. Walks them in the cold so I don’t have to. Keeps the wood bins stocked (which means cutting and hauling the wood himself) so we can have a nice fire in the woodstove every night.
He always cleans up pet puke/poo because it doesn’t bother him and he knows I don’t react well to it.
He brings me chocolate for no reason, and waits on me even when I could get my own damn drink.
He makes me breakfast (fresh fruit, cheese, toast, juice) almost every morning, delivered to my desk in my home office, and takes away the plate when I’m done. Also does probably 75% of the cooking and 95% of the dishes and laundry. Because he prefers to.
When my roommate and I were freezing in our apartment with the wonky heating system, he went out and bought three space heaters (one for each room) and delivered them to our door.
He giggles at the bubbles in his espresso.
He wrestles with the dogs in his underwear.
He’s just as geeky about movie quotes and identifying obscure character actors as I am. He loves me for my quirks, even the ones he doesn’t “get” and the one that drive him nuts.
I’m no cover girl, but he calls me “babe” and tells me I look marvelous on a regular basis. He loves being schmoopy in both public and private. He makes me feel like a lovable woman who can be attractive to a man just by being myself, something I once thought improbable.
I trust him completely and he has never given me any reason to doubt.
It constantly amazes me that I am his and he is mine.
I’m sorry, I have to ask. What were the dogs doing in his underwear?
Is that anything like wrestling with the monkey on your back?
We see today’s world for what it really is - a dumping ground for children because most US mommies and daddies make no time and take no interest in getting to know their children. So, we have chosen to raise our children without daycare, and such. Our lives revolve around the kids, not a TV schedule. We don’t need Oprah nor Cosmopolitan to tell us how to live our lives and how to have sex, for goodness sake! Call us old fashioned, but family comes first because that’s what works. It’s not easy, but the rewards are priceless.
Children are a mirror of the world you emulate for them. Our schools are only as bad as our homes are. And, a good “housecleaning” is long overdue! (It’s so easy to blame our schools, isn’t it?) Our faults, good people, lies not in our schools, but in ourselves!
Even before kids, we instinctively knew we shared the same (rare) philosophies. And, it was a miracle to find someone with a sense of virtues and values for what IS really important in this life. 100 years from now, isn’t that what you’d wish to be remembered for? - Jinx
He makes me lunch every day to take to work.
He doesn’t try to change me, but encourages me to improve myself.
He knows when to make me laugh and when to just let me cry or be mad or depressed.
He has the strongest thumbs I’ve ever met, and knows how to use them.
He protects me from aggressive panhandlers.
He hopes for the best and prepares for the worst.
He knows how I take my tea.
He has known me since I was eight years old and loves me anyway.
Gee. This is harder to put into words than one might think. The random movie quote thing and general geekiness hits close to home, so some of the reasons might be…
Because when he came out of the restaurant yesterday to get into the car with me and three crazy, arguing man-children, he said “Having trouble with the kids?” and I said, “No, no trouble. Why?”
Because when one of us says, “Do you know what I’m thinking right now?” The other can usually answer accurately, and is met with the response of “Get out of my mind!”
Because most of the time we can share a single look that speaks volumes. I think I can control him with my mind, or possibly I’ve just perfected the look that says, “Shut up now, you moron, before I have to kill you in front of these people”.
Because he keeps insisting that I am beautiful, sexy, and smart…despite the fact that I know better.
Because when I need to just hear his voice, he’ll tell me stories about Norse Mythology
Because he loves my two older children as if they were his own.
Because he’s my best friend, my sounding board, and my confidant.
Because every time I have needed him, he’s been right there. Always.
I think we can learn a lot from this thread: what it’s like to be there for someone, and what that actually means. To someone who has only recently learned how to be the support for someone in that way, it’s an eye-opener. That so many seemingly-small things can be of importance!
Because he finally taught me that proper response to a broken glass isn’t a three hour yelling fit at your ten year old.
The proper response to a broken glass is a broom and a dustpan. I will never stop being grateful to him because of it.
Because we’re similar in so many ways, but different enough to still be able to learn from each other.
Because he’s one of the most thoughtful, giving people I know.
Because even though he’s the youngest in his family, he’s great with kids.
Because we’ve been through a lot (family divorces, being in separate countries, usually living in separate states) but I’ve never seen him falter or lack faith once.
Because he’s made the idea of having a future together so real, that even I’m looking
forward to it.
Because he makes funny noises so I’ll laugh.
Because he’s always wanting to learn and improve himself so that he can help himself and his loved ones in any way possible.
Because we’re both geeks and I can be 100% myself around him and know that I’m fully accepted; I can’t explain how great that feels.
I’m loving this thread, but I was particularly tickled by this post. Kayeby, your fiance doesn’t have an older, unattached brother, does he?
Because everything we have we built together from the ground up. We both worked together to get where we are and where we’re going. And we’re going somewhere totally freakin’ sweet.
And we have crazy Goonie adventures together.
Absolutely. If you only get your ideas of love and relationships from movies and tv, you’d have an awfully skewed view. Big, romantic, extravagant gestures are nice, I suppose, but I’d take having a husband who reliably comes home for dinner every night over a husband who may or may not show up, but buys me big bunches of flowers every time he screws up.
The Gramps from Hell about the Grandma from Hell (both in their 90s): “Your Grandma still has the best tits I’ve ever seen.”
Same, after being in a wedding early this year: “She looked so good I would have married her again.” Her response, “oh, POO! You’re just being silly” but she couldn’t stop grinning for hours.
Middlebro about SiL: “half an hour after meeting her, I knew she was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” Yes, I know this only needs a bit of reworking to become a country ballad, so sorry. Complaints to him.