Why does Carly Simon keep singing about me?

It’s getting to be darned annoying.

Because you’re so vain?

You only think she’s singing about you. I’d get some help for that.

Stop wearing that stupid apricot scarf, maybe she’ll stop.

So… how’s Nova Scotia this time of year?

P.S. Listen carefully for Mick Jagger on backup vocals.

And I was thinking about starting a thread about the WASPiest rockers, too. A staple on Adult Contemporary stations, and living on Martha’s Vineyard: that’s John Kerry’s kind of rock!

But is it really vain to think the song is about him when, in fact, the song is technically about him?

It’s not. The song’s about Carly Simon.

So, you haven’t got time for the pain?

Waiter! There are clouds in my coffee!

Better than clowns.

How’d your horse do at Saratoga?

Stop picking on me! Dob’t you know I’m where I should be all the time (and when I’m not…)

Are you just filled with Anticipation?

You probably think this thread is about you.

Don’t you?

The wife of a close friend?!

Well, that’s the way I’ve always heard it should be.

Oy gavotte!

What are you? Some underworld spy or something?