IMO, she will never change. Eventually, I gave in.
But for 13 years I lived in fear that if I didn’t move for a long period of time, my cat would try to eat me.
Well, this won’t help the overall power struggle, but we have two cats that are roughly the same age as yours (I think – about 6-7 months old?). We don’t let them in our bedroom at all, ever, because Mr. Gazer has allergies that include cats. At night, they get shut into our cat-proof spare room, which is where their food, water, beds, and litterbox reside, and they don’t come out until morning. This has worked really well for us on a number of levels, because it means we can sleep with our bedroom door open (temp control, to hear the phone, etc.), they can have their 4am crazies without bothering us, and we don’t have to worry about them getting on to the table, scratching the furniture, etc., while we’re sleeping. Luckily, they’re not yowlers, and we can only barely hear them meowing – it doesn’t even wake me up, and I’m a pretty light sleeper. They usually settle down pretty quickly, too – there have been times we’ve gone back in there 30 minutes after putting them to bed, and they’ve been snuggled down already.
We did this from day one, so I don’t know how yours would react to this, if you even have a room you could do this in.
On the other hand, you could just use it as preparation for parenthood. 
A man I know at work says he managed to tame his wild housecat by forcing it onto the ground, putting his teeth on the cat’s neck, gently biting and making a growling noise. This is how cats establish dominance, he says.
It’s how humans establish hairballs, I said.
I dunno. Given that you have some cat allergy problems, this solution probably wouldn’t work for you, even if it works at all. The co-worker in question is, um, in question. 
Here are some ideas to try. Set up a really nice cat nighttime place, with a warm bed, food, water, etc. The spare room idea would be great if you have one. (Note: you are unlikely to guess exactly what makes a nice sleeping place right off the bat. Keep trying.) At bedtime, help Minmei settle in for the night with a little playtime and petting. Then go to bed in your room. If any discipline needs to take place, your wife should do it. This will help balance out the power struggle.
Incidentally, lachesis’s comment about the pecking order led to a hilarious observation about our own 2-cat, 2-human household. We believe the 2 cats rank us in exactly opposite order.