All’s well that ends, I guess. My smart-ass response would have been this: You usually eat pizza with a friend - a girl friend. She’s all into eating the pizza and you’re thinking, man o man, once we’re done with this little dinner we’re going to hop into bed for a romp. Otherwise, why would I buy this pizza? But after the meal, she says she has to go home. So there’s you, filled with pizza and ready to get it on, but the girl’s gone. Blue balls. QED
Well, there’s the issue. If you normally pick out the seeds from the pepper flakes, then, ya know, scratch yourself, before washing your hands, I can see that causing some irritation downstairs.
That is one big “if”. But at least with me, the pain is definitely internal. I know you were joking, but just in case it confused anyone reading about where the pain is felt.