Make like a Jewish foreskin and be off! ;j
You said “I know, I know: it makes as much sense as a screen door on a battleship.” but the expression is:
“It makes as much sense as a screen door on a SUBMARINE”
Let’s make like a zombie and BRAAAAIIIINNNNSSS!!!
There’s a bus leaving in ten minutes. Be under it.
Make like a nuclear reactor and scram.
Make like Karl Wallenda and hit the road.
Make like Michael Jackson and beat it.
Is using “battleship” a malapropism from the movie he was referencing?
Hello, McFly! Ever hear of a mixed metaphor?
It’s not like it’s rocket surgery or anything…
^^ LOL Trinopus! 
Stand by the window. Id like to help you out.
Off like a dirty shirt.
Damn it, ninja’d! I was only seven years too late.
Make like a bad check (cheque for your furriners) and bounce.
Take a long walk on a short pier.
I just came up with this one on my own.
Not perfect but, what can you do.
Anyway, like a fat kid playing dodgeball, I’m out!
Leave us a loan! 
Why don’t you make like a celebrity marriage and split?
Hat to tie:
You can hang around. I’m going to go on a head.
Make like Imelda Marcos and shoo.
Be like a wedding salad-lettuce alone.
“…Make like a library and book it.”
Make like the birds and get the flock outta here.
We’re off like a herd of turtles.