Little kids piss the bed a lot, but eventually they stop.
Is this because they are trained to by their parents (like how toilet training works)?
Or do they stop naturally as their brain develops and matures?
I think it’s more like learning bladder control. That comes with potty training.
Of course some bed wetting is psychological or as a result of sexual abuse.
They have to learn how to control the muscles operating the sphincters just like they have to learn to control other muscles.
That’s actually a pretty good question. I think it’s learned but also has to do with development.
When you say toilet/potty training, if you mean learning how to go to the bathroom without any supervision, I think it’s more than that. I had a bed-wetting problem for a few weeks. I was still very young (maybe four or five years old, I’m not sure), but I know I’d been using the bathroom unsupervised for some time. I distinctly remember asking my mother how I was supposed to avoid wetting the bed if it happened while I was asleep and her saying that it was just something I had to learn to do. So, I slept carefully, whatever the hell that was, and it stopped. For the longest time now, presumably for the last 55 years, when nature calls while sleeping, my body and brain will conspire to wake me up with weird dreams, so I think it’s something learned after a certain point in the development of the body and/or the brain.
Some people claim they have some degree of control over their dreams, and I think everyone, at some point in their lives, has realized they’re dreaming. My guess is that controlling bed-wetting comes from the same part of the brain.
Some basic bedwetting facts from the medical experts at UpToDate:
Bedwetting (also called nighttime or nocturnal enuresis) is a common childhood problem. Children learn to control daytime urination as they become aware of their bladder filling. Once this occurs, they learn to consciously control and coordinate their bladder. This generally occurs by four years of age. Nighttime bladder control usually takes longer and is not expected until a child is between five and seven years old.
The number of children with bedwetting varies by age; at five years of age, 16 percent of children have some difficulty staying dry at night. By 15 years of age, only 1 to 2 percent continue to wet the bed. Males are twice as likely as females to wet the bed.
For most children, bedwetting resolves on its own without treatment. However, caregivers and children may worry about bedwetting since it is embarrassing and inconvenient. Some caregivers may also worry about underlying medical problems.
Bedwetting may be related to one or more of the following:
●The child’s bladder is maturing more slowly than usual
●The child’s bladder holds a smaller-than-normal amount of urine
●Genetics – Parents who had enuresis as children are more likely to have children with enuresis
●Diminished levels of vasopressin (a hormone that reduces urine production)
●Deep sleep that prevents a child from sensing bladder fullness (this theory is controversial)
Physical or emotional problems rarely cause bedwetting. Most children with bedwetting do not have an underlying medical problem. Medical problems that may contribute to bedwetting include diabetes, urinary tract infection, fecal soiling (encopresis), pin worms, kidney failure, seizures, and sleep problems (such as sleep apnea). Most of these conditions can be diagnosed easily.
Constipation, a common problem in children, can also cause bedwetting.
●Bedwetting is common; it occurs at least once per week in 15 percent of five year olds.
●Bedwetting goes away on its own in most children.
●Bedwetting is not the child’s fault; children should not be punished for bedwetting.
Nice review. Clarifying we are mostly speaking about primary nocturnal enuresis, never having been consistently dry at night and wetting only at night. Secondary enuresis (having been dry for a while then starting to wet) sparks consideration of a cause and also wetting daytime evokes other thoughts. As does daytime frequency.
To emphasize:
A child is asleep, usually in deep sleep, when they bed wet: they are not making any conscious choice about it. Most outgrow by five or six.
When the child is interested there are moisture alarms that should not cost more than $60 that are very effective. It’s basically Pavlov’s dog style. Full bladder about to release paired with soon being woken up. Initially though the parent will be woken up by the alarm before the child is and gets the child up.
There are also medication approaches but they are more bandaids than cures. They buy time until it resolves on its own or give insurance for events like sleepovers.
I personally was a late wetter and it definitely runs in families. My daughter was also a late wetter. Of course she’s our adopted child. We were meant to be!
I have to remember to do kegels - post surgery my pelvic floor muscle nerves were mostly cut/damaged so I had to retrain to not just squeeze to hold pee in, but to squeeze differently to push out pee. If I don’t, then I can’t really make it the 7 feet to the toilet from the bed. I don’t really ‘feel’ the urge to pee that a full bladder has, sort of. I get a bit of a tickle to let me know to go pee. Oddly, my ostomy bag filling up triggers a wake up to empty it urge that also lets me go pee at some point in hte middle of the night [I more or less pee every 3 or 4 hours, whether or not I get an urge to pee. Just makes it easier to not pee myself if I go frequently =) ]
We toilet trained our daughter at about age 2 because i noticed she woke up with a dry diaper every day. She knew that children who wore diapers used diapers, and children who wore underwear used the potty, and the only thing we did to “toilet train” her was to take her shopping and let her pick out pretty underpants to wear. She had a total of two accidents after that, and they were both our fault, for taking her someplace that wasn’t close to a potty without reminding her to pee before we left.
Our son toilet trained during the day at a usual age, without incident. But he was still wetting the bed when he was old enough that it was his job to launder his sheets, and I’m honestly not sure when he finally grew out of it. I know that he borrowed an alarm from a friend to try to train himself to wake, and it wasn’t much help. His pediatrician said “they all sleep through the night before they go to college.” I believe the “deep sleep” theory, because that kid could fall asleep anywhere and was hard to wake up. But of course, most school kids don’t wake up to pee, they make it through the night without needing to pee. So who knows.
That is the “insert miracle here” part of the moisture alarm. After the association is made to wake up in response to a full bladder kids most often both stop wetting in bed and also sleep through. I assume the slight alteration in sleep cycle without full arousal does something. Unclear what the alteration is and what it does.
I was a regular bedwetter. 6 nights out of 7. It caused me great shame and self-loathing. Suddenly at about 12 years old it stopped. I am almost certain it was solved by puberty as I was waking up with morning wood all the time. I am 70 now so no more AM wood but thankfully no bedwetting. Horrible time of my life
A timely question, since my first grandson has just been born.
I’m guessing that voluntary control of urine and bowel movements is something that naturally develops in some mammals? Evolutionary advantage, perhaps (don’t leave traces that predators can track)?
There again, you can housetrain a cat (usually), a dog maybe not so much, and a horse… good luck.
I don’t think it is a cultural thing with humans: are there any societies which don’t toilet train their children?
I (male) was a regular bed-wetter until I turned 12/13 and then an infrequent bed-wetter for another 2 years. At some point back then I read in a doctor-provided brochure that one could increase their bladder size by “holding it in” as much as possible during the day, which would potentially help me get through the night. So I “held it it,” to a painful degree. Did it make the difference or would I have stopped anyhow? I’ll never know.
My parents never made me feel bad about it but it still weighed heavily on my self esteem etc. etc.