My dog, Dirt, used to have very loud personally hygiene, too, before she got old and arthritic and can’t twist to wash her girl bits anymore. They’re whiffy.
Meanwhile, when she could twist and chew, she loved to chew-clean her thigh. It was bad enough listening to her teeth chitter together like a Cenobite from Hellraiser but she would also add a little song, in a high pitched, doggie whine, at the same time, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuhnuhnuh…eeee…schllluuurrrrrr…nuh nuh [SIZE=4]nuh[/SIZE]…scchhhlllluurrrnuhnuhnuh…
rising up and down the scale with sloppy inhalations in between bursts of canine Gregorian chant.
As for me, once when I were wee and had a bad fever, and was just a miserable kid, I could not sleep without an extra pillow, so I went into the sitting room where mum and dad were looking at tele, and asked, ‘May I please have another pillow?’
They looked up at me, puzzled, and my mum said, ‘What?’
I repeated, ‘May I have another pillow.’
Look from mum, and a 'What?
Exasperated at the woman for not understanding me, I repeated, exasperated, ‘I want another pillow!’
They exchanged looks.
‘A pillow! You know! A pillow!’
Gah! I went back to bed, annoyed and iller than ever.
Mum asked me in the morning why in the hell was I up in the middle of the night (for me) asking for an umbrella.