Why I didn't get any sleep last night...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m in bed around 2:30 AM, sound asleep, when I hear a bloodcurdling scream from VunderWife. I sit bolt upright, and she shouts, “Dad, someone is trying to reach in!!!” and points at the closet door.

The drama queen was having another night terror, something that hasn’t happened for a couple of years. Of course, she goes right back to snoring; I, on the other hand had so much adrenaline pumping through me that it took more than an hour at o’dark:thirty to settle back down and get back to sleep.

Gah. I’m going to be worthless after lunch…

2

Mrs. Shibb has a closet door next to my side of the bed which she for some reason refuses to close. So I close it every night before going to sleep. It’s to keep the monsters in. I try and reason with her, but to no avail. Maybe a blood curdling scream in the middle of the night would help her see it my way.

(FWIW I also couldn’t sleep at all last night but for no apparent reason. The monster-door was even shut.)

3

Yikes! No wonder you didn’t get back to sleep for a while. When I read your story, though, I couldn’t help it, I burst out laughing. I can just picture it.

The only thing I’ve ever said to my husband while sleeping was…

“I’ve tapped into the secrets of the universe in order to make inert object fly!”

Apparently, I said it very clearly and loud but was sound asleep. Strange, because that particular sentence is nothing like anything I would even think, much less say. It’s just not me. But when I woke up I remembered a dream in which I felt very powerful, but no details.

Hope you get a good night sleep tonight.

4

My SO once said to me, “Will you make me into a castle now?”

He’d been playing a lot of Heroes of Might and Magic.

And I once called my previous SO by his friend’s name, even though I not only didn’t have any attraction to his friend but was actually physically repulsed by him.

People say weird things at night.

5

Some people are sleepwalkers. My girlfriend is a sleeppuncher.

6

“Honey, where’s my flying saucer?”
I needed it. It was time to go zoom around.

7

I didn’t get any sleep last night cuz when I woke up at 1:00am my arm was gone. Not actually gone, of course, but I couldn’t feel it. The thing wasn’t just asleep, it was in a coma. I’ve never had a limb go totally, 100% numb like that before. It freaked me out for a good while. I bet it took six or seven minutes for it to feel pretty much normal again. Then I couldn’t fall asleep.

Right when I fell asleep, the dog woke me back up. She had to do #2, apparently, which is rare for her in the middle of the night. She went quickly. Then she got up again two hours later, again for a #2. She must not have been feeling well, because she never gets up twice in one night.

Your reason for not sleeping is more exciting than my reason for not sleeping.

8

“You tell those spiders, Ron.”

9

Doggie logic: Fox Paws can’t feel his/her arm. Oh SHIT! No seriously, I gotta go… C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, I gotta go… Okay, that’s better… wait, was that a squirrel I saw out there before? Gotta go again, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon. I don’t know what Fox Paws has been feeding me but this is serious, I’ve gotta go. At least my paw didn’t fall asleep… okay, that’s better, I can sleep now. ::circles three times then goes right back to sleep::

10

Are you sure she is asleep?

For me I have a cat that must be feed at 5 am. The food must be fresh from the box.

11

That same closet door from the OP is closed to keep the monster OUT. Booger, the cat, has this quaint little habit of getting in to the closet, pulling something off the hanger, and pissing all over it.

12

my dog has been chewing on his ass. Loudly.

Our bedroom door doesn’t shut all the way, so he can push it open. He comes in, and chews on his ass.

Today it was 5:30, not too bad since I get up around 6:00 but other nights it can be 3:00. Very annoying.

13

Well, in VunderWife’s defense, I have to tell the following incriminating story. Names are not changed, so you can ridicule the guilty.

Last week, I had this very bizarre dream; something about Roseanne Barr running a prostitution ring out of the men’s room of a Holiday Inn; the same men’s room where I was trying to get in to take a leak. Having answered nature’s call, and fending off Madam Roseanne, I was trying to leave, when the entire defensive line of the Indianapolis Colts comes charging in. The only thing I could do was try to rip the nose off one of the linesmen, but it felt very realistic. :dubious:

I was getting ready for work, and she stirred. I asked, “Dear, did I happen to mess with your face in the middle of the night?”

“Yes. you 'bout tore my nose off.” :eek:

I told you the dream was weird…

14

Well, apparently, I talk a lot in my sleep. I have conversations with people as if I were awake. I speak German in my sleep.

I don’t ever remember doing any of this, but my friends tell me I do.

15

I used to work in a restuarant. I would wake up at night and offer my boyfriend “Sweet or unsweet Tea.” Or, if in my dream I was very busy I would say things like, “I’m very sorry sir, the kitchen is a little backed up right now, can I offer you some more bread?” He found all of this very funny.

16

Our dog steals the covers from the bed.

We have a California king bed, and our floor is vinyl tile. Shortly after we got our dog, he came in our room when we went to bed. Part of the comforter was on the floor at the bottom of the bed, so Buck laid down on it and went to sleep.

I guess he liked it, because now, if the comforter is pulled up so none of it is on the floor, he will pull it down with his teeth to get enough so he can lie on it. I’ve woken up more than once with just the sheet on, and Ivylad likes to crank the AC down at night.

17

:confused:
What the heck’s a California king bed?

18

You raise a possibility I hadn’t considered, but if she’s awake she’s doing a really convincing job of faking the snoring.

19

Extra long mattress. Very popular with the tall folk…

20

My dog, Dirt, used to have very loud personally hygiene, too, before she got old and arthritic and can’t twist to wash her girl bits anymore. They’re whiffy.

Meanwhile, when she could twist and chew, she loved to chew-clean her thigh. It was bad enough listening to her teeth chitter together like a Cenobite from Hellraiser but she would also add a little song, in a high pitched, doggie whine, at the same time, nuh nuh nuh nuh nuhnuhnuh…eeee…schllluuurrrrrr…nuh nuh [SIZE=4]nuh[/SIZE]…scchhhlllluurrrnuhnuhnuh…

rising up and down the scale with sloppy inhalations in between bursts of canine Gregorian chant.

As for me, once when I were wee and had a bad fever, and was just a miserable kid, I could not sleep without an extra pillow, so I went into the sitting room where mum and dad were looking at tele, and asked, ‘May I please have another pillow?’

They looked up at me, puzzled, and my mum said, ‘What?’

I repeated, ‘May I have another pillow.’

Look from mum, and a 'What?

Exasperated at the woman for not understanding me, I repeated, exasperated, ‘I want another pillow!’

They exchanged looks.

‘A pillow! You know! A pillow!’

More looks.

Gah! I went back to bed, annoyed and iller than ever.

Mum asked me in the morning why in the hell was I up in the middle of the night (for me) asking for an umbrella.