I think we’ll let Christmas pass unnoticed this year too, and this thread validates our decision. We’ll get gifts for the grandkids, but I’m not going to drag out the decorations (no one sees them anyway) and we’re not doing a family dinner.
If something happens to get me in the mood in the next couple of weeks, I might change my mind, but as it stands now, I don’t think anyone else cares what we do, so I’m not going to do it.
Sigh. What a relief.
Yeah, and Santa’s reindeer will come flying outta my butt.
Puh-lease!
Time to set up a Hot Cocoa & Mulled Cider stand! Spike it with a little Kaopectate & you’ll really get that traffic moving!
I’d pay good money to see this. But you have to wear the red dress. Name a price and we’ll start a collection.
Bad Santa Spoiler
I dunno. When the kid kicks the bully in the nuts at the end, I get all weepy.
The problem with Christmas music is not just its ubiquity, or the fact that it falls under Sturgeon’s Law (“90% of everything is crap”). It is also the fact that very little listenable Christmas music has been written in my lifetime of 29 years. Most of what has appeared since falls into the category of funny-the-first-five-times-but-not-the-last-eight-million (see “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer”), painfully schmaltzy and insipid (see “These Christmas Shoes”), or filler tracks between the traditional chestnuts on an artist’s inevitable Christmas album (see, oh, any Christmas album by pretty much anybody).
What we need is a Manhattan Project-level effort to pull together the country’s best songwriters and write a slew of new Christmas music. Elvis Costello is probably between albums. I’d like to hear what Rhett Miller could turn out. Stephen Merritt is on tour, but a nice wad of cash might lure him in. How Jewish is Dylan these days?
Jesus is coming!
Arf! Arf!
yeah, yeah…I’m just trying to peek up the skirt here…
You may get your chance if you come to DC for MAL.
Woof!
Cold. Boy, I hate the fucking cold. I feel for ya here, sistah.
**Religion. ** Well, not exactly my cup of tea. But without them, we wouldn’t have our own Giant Jesus vogueing by the strip club!
**Jollity. ** Feh. I’m usually pretty jolly, even if it is masked by sarcasm.
**Heartwarming TV. ** Yeah…it’s pretty hideous. Makes me thank the Giant Jesus I have a VCR and DVD player.
**Office Parties. ** My husband refuses to do his because he hates his co-workers. Ours is played out during working hours with free lunch and a full day of grazing on goodies. How bad can it be?
**Hustle and Bustle. ** I don’t do it. I do 95% of my shopping on line.
**Lawn Decorations. ** Heh. I’m tempted to stick those inflatable things with a shiv. They are a blight on neighborhoods across the nation.
Yesterday at work I heard “Winter Wonderland” ten times, by seven different artists. I think what is really needed is a return to classical music for Christmas music. Failing that Tom Waits, Trent Reznor, Marlyn Manson, and Gary Numen ought to produce Christmas albums. I think once people hear Mr. Manson’s version of “Silent Night” the whole idea of contemporary artists doing Christmas albums will vanish.
Even better–they should do a Christmas album together. A duet between Marilyn Manson and Tom Waits will do things to popular Christmas music that I can’t post about here.
Actually, the Christian part of Christmas is very easily ignored, as it isn’t really much in evidence this time of year, barring the occasional angel.
The Santa part of Christmas, on the other hand – He’s everwhere! He’s everywhere!
I’m sorry gobear, it’s just your post was kind of a surprise. I’m glad you’re cheering up after the election. And you did make a really good point about Hanukah, a holiday that has retained a small shred of the dignity the others have lost.
Sometimes I wish America was more like England. I was in England over American Thanksgiving a few years ago and there wasn’t a blinky light or bit of tinsel to be seen ‘till I left on the last day of November. I like Christmas better when it’s a short season. If anything I like Christmas better now than when I was a child, because I haven’t been singing choral music since September.
Oh, no ifs. We’re going to be there, if not necessarily at the MAL events all weekend. We’re going to stay with a friend down there and go to certain events…I’ll let you know when we finalize just what we’ll be attending.
And there are STILL 25 days left for listening to the insipid whistling twit croak (All I Want for Christmas is) My Two Front Teeth! Gah!!
Someone, please tell me where I can get a life-size reproduction of the Grinch in a Santa costume. I want to pose him sitting on my chimney with the pants down around his ankles! I wonder how long it would take the Neighborhood Nazi Housing Commitee to come a-knockin’ at my door?
And of course, they all suck.
Now if that’s a decoration I’d put on my roof!
I find it cheers me up greatly to make up obscene and blasphemous lyrics to Christmas carols, and sing them as I’m driving around. To get you started, think how “Rumpabumbum” has the same beat as “Armageddon.” And next time that annoying song plays, just hum to yourself:
Hari hari, krishna krishna
Krishna Krish, nahari hari
A-hari hari
Krishna Krishna
Hari Krishna Winter Wonderland
Daniel
That’s my real objection to removing religious Christmas carols from schools – the secular carols (except the Carol of the Bells) all suck mightily. There are some pretty insipid religious carols, but most of them are way, WAY above Frosty, Rudolph, etc.