:: Sniff ::
All this has gotten me in a holiday spirit …
Well, the weather outside is frightful
And the snow is not delightful
All you optimists can just blow
Fuck this snow fuck this snow fuck this snow …
Yes, yes! I almost forgot the one my mother taught me,
Deck the goddamned halls with holly!
*La la la la la * etc
a few lines further…
Hark the hare-lipped angels sing,
Fwaw, Fwaw, Fwaw, Fwaw…etc
Or I could always use Zenster’s Old-Fashioned Ex-Lax Hot Chocolate recipe…
Oh, I agree. With the exception of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (hey, ya just can’t beat Judy Garland singing “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Make the Yule-tide gay…”) the secular songs suck stale cookie dough.
Meoldy-wise I really love “O Holy Night”, but… well… that holy stuff is what nixes it off many PC let’s-secularize-to-be-inclusive song lists.
I like this time of year. I like winter, and I love the snow. I like when it’s chilly and overcast, and I like that nippy breeze. I love those Canadian cold fronts that make it 40° degrees at night, so I can throw open the window for some fresh air for sleeping.
God only knows why I live in the Mid-Atlantic, where it’s unbearably hot and humid five moths of the year. I should move to Alaska.
Fill the bars with Christmas drinking
*Fa la la la la-la la la la *
See the people getting stinking
Fa la la la la-la la la la
Though their brains are half-corroded
Fa la la-la la la-la la la
Still they’ll try to drive home loaded
Fa la la la la-la la la la
See the busy intersection
*Fa la la la la-la la la la *
Here come cars from each direction…
…And so on.
You think 40° at night is cold?
If I’ve gotta hear an Xmas song, I can tolerate Tom Petty’s “Christmas All Over Again”. Once or twice, anyway.
*"Long-distance relatives, haven’t seen’em in a long, long time
Yeah I kind of missed 'em, I just don’t wanna kiss 'em, no
It’s Christmas all over again, yeah again
And all over town little kids gonna get down
And Christmas is a rockin’ time, put your body next to mine
Underneath the mistletoe we go, we go"*
And just how many fucking parodies of the 12 Days of Christmas does this world need. The original bird brained version was bad enough, but everyone has to be clever and re-do it. Especially all you goddam companies selling something.
I wished I owned the rights to the music, so I could sue every last one of you…Except of course for the 12 Days of Phantom
On the 12th day of Christmas the Phantom gave me to
12 years in Phantom
11 pyrotechnics
10 beepings beeping
9 candalabras
8 tone deaf dancers
7,000 cast changes
6,6,6 a chandelier in pieces
5 high D’s–AAAAAAAAA
4 fog machines
3 leading ladies
a whole bunch of Christines
and a sweaty piece of porcelain on his face.
This seems a good thread to put my commentary about that Hallmark commercial. The woman puts this annoying musical snowman on her neighbor’s porch and he opens the door to it singing it’s irritating electronic song. Everytime I see that commercial I want to kick that sonofabitch across the lawn. That’s what I’d do if someone put that on my porch.
And, while buying cold medicine at CVS the other day, they had regular Xmas music playing on the musack and then about ten little electronic songs playing from various Santa and reindeer decorations. I thought I was going to lose it. I don’t know how the employees can work around all that noise without going batshit.
Eve -
You forgot the Christmas music.
The horrible, neverending din played in stores and on radios, over and over and over, until I can’t take it anymore, I tell you, I can’t take it,WHERE THE HELL IS MY MACHETE??!?!!?!!?
Bah. Humbug. :mad:
No, not at all. Throw open the window, and it’s perfect for sleeping! I have to have it cool for sleeping. I hate a stuffy room.
Everyone else around here, though, is complaining. It’s about 50° today, and a little breezy. Just gorgeous out, IMO. I have on a sleeveless mock turtleneck and a fleece pullover with jeans, and I’m fine. I’ve been running errands all day, and everyone is complaining about the “cold.” Buncha wimps, I tell ya!
Parents, pay heed. If your child wants to slack and not finish school remind them what working retail every Christmas for the rest of their lives will be like.
The older I get, the more I think that Scrooge had a point, and maybe all the Christmas Ghosts should get stuffed.
It’s not all bad. You do get the day off from work (with pay) don’t you?
Believe you me: I’d work that day without pay if it would rid my life of the above items.
*Christmastime is here by golly,
Disapproval would be folly.
Deck the halls with hunks with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don’t say when…
Relations sparing no expensil,
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
Brother, here we go again!*
Xmas has become totally about the mass culture…it’s as though you can barely have a private memory or moment to call your own. It’s a wonderland of consumer goodies with nothing I particularly want to buy (barring the odd record album or alcoholic beverage). It’s a big plate-glass strip mall where every window is sticky with the ootsy-cutesy fingerprints of the masscult’s childroon, whose merest touch makes everything plasticky and sugar-sweetened and cheap. Isn’t it enough that the little suckers have Halloween? At least that’s about sugar and plastic. Who knows what Xmas is about, anymore.
Avoidance, blame, and Miss Manners.