Omigod, she is a cobra!
Water!
[hyperventilates]
MEDIC!
Oh god, I’ve got the goddamn HICCUPS from laughing so hard!
Wow.
Except for being black the OP could be describing me.
What’s really sad is that my reputation for smarts is based solely on the fact that I, well… read. A lot. Stuff like directions and maintenance manuals at work for example. I actually look up answers instead of waiting for them to fly through the air and strike me in the head.
And I have been called mean.
All of which adds up to why I’m on the boards now instead of chatting in the little social group across the room. Sigh.
Damn, that’s the exact same thing people say about me (well, except that they don’t call me “Biggirl”), they freaking say it to my face! And the sad pathetic thing about this is that I don’t know shit, and I tell them that, and they think I’m kidding. And I’ll turn to the nearest other person and say, “Well, I have so-and-so fooled” and THAT person thinks I’m kidding, too.
this post has been Graped by the Grapist!
:: pours glass of milk ::
I’m ready to dunk that cookie.
But. . . but. . . I need something to read on my four hour commute everyday and the National Enquirer is just the right length. And I loooooove Harlequin Romances. I subscribe. Really.
I told you I’m not as smart as you think I thought I was.
Well gee.
Everybody’s a cookie but me.
I can’t decide.
What kind of cookie I am.
Oatmeal & Raisin?
Chocolate Chip?
No. I know.
The small, tart shaped cookie with the fruit fillin’
You know, raspberry, lemon, cherry, or key lime on the inside.
That’s me. 
As far as figuring out exactly how smart I am, I can’t do that. My brain would run screaming from my head if I dared do that. :eek:
Biggirl, keep on being smart and mean and any lil ol’ thing your heart desires. 
Gosh, I’m feeling really goofy tonight. And I want a cookie now, goddamit, but all I’ve got in the house are some stale Oreos. Yuk!
I think I’m a no-bake (haystack, whatever you call it). Kind of messy, soft and squishy, and really easy to make. 
So they’re dumb and racist? Knowing the difference between a call and a put is white…that’s really setting the bar high for black America. Way to set goals. :rolleyes:
Isaac Newton’s younger brother Fig. Now there was one smart cookie.
I’ve just modified my sig and thought that there was no better thread than this one to try it out.
quote:
Originally posted by D_Odds
swampbear, you’re a Vienna Finger.
I got yer cookie and yer milk right here!
I thought this was going to be another “my brother’s been posting under my name” threads.
What’s that, a black person who wants to be Irish?
Reminds me of the time me and two of my buddies were hanging out with a couple of very cute girls. One of the girls had a little notebook she kept with her whenever he was reading, so she could write down the words she didn’t know and look them up later. It was almost copletely full. Somehow, they ended up quizzing me on it, and I knew every single word in the notebook, with the exception of a few Russian words she’d read in Tolstoy. They were both hugely impressed. Huge ego boost, I don’t mind telling you.
I was still the only one there who went home alone that night. 
(Yeah, okay, technically that was because they were my two buddies girlfriends. That doesn’t mean I don’t still want your pity.)
I had a friend whose family were all KKK members, when he went to law school they called him a “Fig Newton”: white on the outside and semitic on the inside. Okay, that’s not true, but it makes about as much sense as calling Biggirl an Oreo.
All my oreos are brown on the inside and brown in the middle. Chocolate center oreos, yum!