Fascinating discussion we have going here.
If I may, there seems to be a lot of conflict between the biological model of depression and the environmental/social model. I think the human brain is a lot more complex than that, and that both things happen, or could be happening, at the same time.
When I first started seeking treatment for depression at age 18, my therapists assumed that it was the result of my unstable childhood. After all, I did have PTSD and a slew of other anxiety disorders. I went through 12-13 completely useless medications and a bunch of psychodynamic therapy until I finally came to the conclusion that if I could find better ways of thinking and behaving, my depression would go away. I had unhealthy relationships and behaviors that were literally killing me.
I can relate so much to even sven’s description of dismantling herself completely. I feel like I built myself from scratch. Some things, like eating and bathing and getting dressed in the morning, I had to re-teach myself. Other things, like dealing effectively with my emotions, I had to learn for the first time. My life for the last ten years has consisted of slow, continuous behavioral change and cognitive restructuring. I got really into evidence-based practices and all of that living and learning really did radically change the way I coped with depression. I learned to live a full and engaged life.
My depression did not go away.
In 2010, I finally got an appropriate treatment for my PTSD - prolonged exposure therapy - which is one of the most difficult but rewarding things I have ever done. It helped tremendously with my PTSD symptoms and associated anxiety issues. I could sleep at night. I made peace with my past. My psychologist told me that the depression would most likely dissipate along with the PTSD.
My depression did not go away.
I started cognitive therapy and made some headway on my social anxiety issues.
My depression did not go away.
I went back to a psychiatrist (after years of no medication), who gave me some more medications to try.
The depression did not go away.
Because I had ‘‘treatment-resistant’’ depression, my psychiatrist recommended a promising treatment called transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS.) I forked over $10,000 to have someone zap my left prefrontal cortex with a magnetic pulse for an hour a day, three months straight. It kind of hurt.
My depression did not go away.
Are we noticing a trend here? Well, apparently I wasn’t. I still believed, if I could just work hard enough, change enough, learn enough, eventually I would be free from this horrible disease. I had, as John DiFool so innocently calls it, ‘‘hope.’’
I started a new evidence-based treatment called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT.) This is when my psychologist looked at all I had done, my history, the ways I had changed my thinking and behavior, and said, ‘‘Your depression isn’t going to go away.’’
At first, I grieved. Deeply. Then, I rejoiced. Because my life was no longer burdened with this herculean task of ‘‘getting better.’’ I don’t have to shell out any more money, or spend any more painful hours trying desperately to become a thing I cannot be. I have chronic depression. I will probably have it for the rest of my life. Full stop. ACT was about learning to accept my condition and learn to live a meaningful life anyway.
Can thoughts cure depression, Mr. DiFool? I successfully changed my thinking. For example, I very rarely indulge in the ‘‘I’m a horrible person’’ line of thought. I’ve learned all the CBT techniques and apply them pretty regularly. It helps things from spinning out of control. But it doesn’t cure my depression. I still feel depressed regardless of my thoughts, because depression is a physical thing that takes over my body and makes me feel bad.
I’m now on a medication (Wellbutrin la la la!) that helps a lot. But… what is this… Oh, look, I still have depression! I’m depressed today. I’m not sure which came first, the depression or the behavior, but I called in a personal day because I was too anxious about an event I was supposed to attend tonight. Not my shining moment. Not the end of the world, either - a past me would be crucifying myself for being so irresponsible and unreliable etc. and then getting more depressed and missing more days… I’ve gotten past that. I’ll just get back to work tomorrow and try to learn from it and do better next time. It’s just my life. I now think of myself as a basically happy person, even though I’m depressed pretty much every day.
Now, I will say, I don’t think most people have gone to the same lengths as I have in trying to address their issues. That’s not a judgment against them, I just know I happen to be unusually compliant and aggressive when it comes to my mental health (and also blessed with the financial resources to pursue high-quality treatment.) So it really is quite insulting to hear that there is a miracle cure out there, and that the answer lies within me or some other bullshit.
I also think I had plenty of genuine issues related to my childhood, lived in depression-inducing circumstances of my own design, and have a biologically based mental illness. These three things can all be true at once. Because of my proactivity, things are a million times better than they were ten years ago. But I know, and I wish other people would understand and accept, there is no cure.