Come on people, Should this be reversed once in a while???
It all started when my mom starts with her ever-so-careful “Now honey, the boys in high school look at girls in a very different way” speech… and I just exploded at her. I didn’t go as far as to tell her that I had already had “some experiences,” as far as boys go, but I blew up at her pretty bad. All of this could be avoided if parents would somehow get it through their heads to even out the scales a little bit.
For instance: If my mom had said, “And honey, remember, don’t go into high school next year and try to take advantage of some of those poor sweet little boys. You have to be smarter than that… they won’t know any better if you aren’t!”
I’m sure my point is coming through loud and clear…
er…yeah!
But in any event, I feel better having shared this!
Girls get pregnant, boys don’t. Parents know this. They do warn their sons, but the warnings are different, because, . . . well boys don’t get pregnant, and girls do.
Thank you for your input. I have been shot down. But I still feel better than I did.
And yes, I still stand firm. I am a Christian, and I have morals. When I said “Guy experiences” I was talking about kissing, not anything beyond that. So why can’t they trust me just a little bit? These conversations we have everyday are SO tedious and annoying.
I know… all those times I have been used by unscrupolous women who just wanted to get into my pants. But I am a little bit older, a little bit wiser now. So I think I’m gonna play ping pong now.
With a due respect… arrrgh! (no no no no NO!.. let me stop stop stop. This is part where I call you an incredible retard and you flame back and etc… and we’re not going to get anywhere that way. You’re simply young and extraordinarily ignorant.
For the record tempestuous_tory many mothers DO warn their precious baby boys about predatory, sluttish girls.
With respect to the question of why it is more often the case that girls are admonished not to fall for the entreaties of anxious young men vs the other way around, beyond self respect issues, as others have concisely pointed out the primary reasons are…
That sounds like something my mother said to me. She was always very overprotective of me when I was growing up which in turn caused me to rebel against everything she ever told me not to do. You mom’s just worried about you and doesn’t know how to express it in a way that won’t piss you off and turn you against her.
Don’t go and do something that you’re not ready to do just to get back at your parents. You’ll regret it in the long run. That’s great that you have morals… stand firm, hold your ground, and don’t do anything you’re not ready for and you’ll be just fine.
I know how hard it is to grow up with parents who don’t know how to communicate with you. The sex talk I got from my mom consisted of her telling me not to do it until I was married. (Yeah, you’ve convinced me!) There was no talk about pregnancy, condoms, diseases, being in love, etc. I have very different beliefs and morals from my parents and that’s always been a problem for us. They love me no matter what but I know that I have done a lot of things to disappoint them. I wish they could be a little more open minded but that’s never going to happen. If you have the chance, talk to your mom about what you’re going through. Tell her what morals you have and that she needs to put a little faith in you to do what’s right for you! When you’re older you’ll understand where she’s coming from. I never thought that I would say that but if I could go back to high school knowing what I know now… I would probably do a lot of things differently. You just have to learn as you go I guess.
I WOULD NEVER HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE UNLESS I WAS MARRIED TO THEM. GOT IT??? I SAID THAT BEFORE… BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU WERE NOT RAISED IN A CHRISTIAN HOME AND DID NOT GROW UP HEARING ABOUT MORALS AND SUCH ALL YOUR CHILDHOOD LIFE… WISHING THAT JUST ONCE YOUR PARENTS WOULD LISTEN TO YOU. JUST ONCE. JUST ONCE TRUST YOU JUST A LITTLE BIT. JUST ONCE SHUT UP AND KNOW THAT YOU LOVE THE LORD AND WOULD NOT WANT TO DISPLEASE HIM BY BECOMING IMPURE. THAT’S ALL I WANT.
Does that make any sense to anyone?? Or is someone else going to give me another gory detail of the horrors of motherhood, or of an abortion I would never dream of having.
Very simple
Men and women are diffrent.
women have typacally more to loose then men. Normally their lives are effected much more if an out of wedlock child is conceived. Birth control methods are not 100% effective. Also I believe std’s are more readially transmitted from M to F then the other way around.
Also I think that women more then men believe that sex and love are the same (or at least closer to being the same). What I mean by that is a guy might like to be w/ a girl and want to have sex with her but in no way is this a comitment, he thinks of it as something to do together while a womem is more likely to think he loves me and I want to be with him so I will have sex with him.
That said, that is IMHO and just MHO which is nothing more then MHO.
Tory!!! calm down… They are just misunderstanding what you are talking about. I too was raised through Christianity. I’m southern Baptist. my mother never gave me a “watch out for guys” talk. But she did give me a wait for marraige talk. I didn’t sleep with any guys until 18, and only with my fiance I’m marring in 2 weeks.
You have to take a guys libido into consideration. Men supposedly have a higher sex drive than women as teenagers. They are all about trying to “score” I think She just wants you to be cautious. Maybe she already thinks that you are smart enough to NOT go chasing after boys with a vengence. Her concern is obviously for your well-being and keeping you from being hurt emotionally AND physically.
Don’t you think the talk haarbors on a ‘date-rape’ tangent. Maybe she is a little more concerned for your well being than the broken hearts you may leave behind…
Ease up there, Tory. You asked a question, received good answers and advice; there’s no need to shout at us. I don’t think anyone accused you of being slutty or “impure.” In fact , it was you, yourself, that said, “They’ll make a whore of me yet.” When you make statements like that, you have to expect people to respond in kind.
I suggest you wander around this site a bit and find out what it’s all about. I will tell you it’s not a teen chat room and that type of behavior is very much frowned upon here. You continue it at your own peril, the members will be absolutely ruthless if they see what they consider too much whining for attention.
First of all, tone it down, there’s no need to get so defensive. Second of all what you said was:
**
That doesn’t let us know that you’re not going to have sex until you’re married. That just means that you’ve made out with someone.
I did grow up in a house with parents talking about morals and right and wrong all the time. All it did was turn me against everything they believed in. I wasn’t able to talk to my parents about anything because I would always get a lecture out of it about what was right and what was wrong. This never happened to my brothers, just to me. My parents didn’t worry about my brothers too much because they were boys. My mother was always afraid that someone was going to rape me or that guys were after me for my body and just wanted to have sex with me. Girls have to grow up in a very stereotypical world where your either a prude or a slut. Either way you lose.
If you can talk to your mother, do it. Let her know what your beliefs and morals are and tell her that she needs to trust you to do the right thing. It’s hard for parents to see their children growing up but sooner or later they’re going to have to let go.
But I will point out something you might not have thought about. It is possible that you parents are unrelenting naggers with their own axes to grind about abortion. That happens. If so, I am sorry for your situation. There are other explanations, though.
The fact is that parents of girls are not entirely rational about the world, and what it wants from their baby girls. It isn’t rational, and it isn’t based on what she is doing, or feeling. It is based on a panic response triggered every time they see another twelve-year-old in heavy makeup and jewelry being used to sell things for some corporation. Truly innocent young girls are very attractive targets for the real evil people of our society, and they attract all sorts of imagined danger in the minds of loving fathers. It ain’t rational, but it ain’t going away.
So, next time, cry, and tell you father this. “Daddy, it hurts my feelings that you think so poorly of me.” “Please believe in me, because it need that to be strong enough to live my life like I should.” If he is overreacting to his own fears this should help him understand that he is becoming part of the problem.
You really have to understand how hard it is to have a daughter grow up and become a woman. It isn’t reasonable, and it is inevitable that she is going to leave eventually with some guy. Just not wringing his scrawny undeserving neck is hard enough, but you eventually have to learn to love the ungrateful bastard. Sheesh.
You really have to understand how hard it is to have a daughter grow up and become a woman. It isn’t reasonable, and it is inevitable that she is going to leave eventually with some guy. Just not wringing his scrawny undeserving neck is hard enough, but you eventually have to learn to love the ungrateful bastard. Sheesh.
Others will give you good advice on how to deal with your present difficulty with your parents. Rather, I shall attempt to address the reasons behind their seeming insanity about your assumed innocence regarding the other gender. Keep in mind, I am not an expert. Note also that a lack of expertise rarely prevents me from expressing an opinion.
Alas, the vast majority of parents have never attended a course on human communication, therefore their ability to communicate with others is less than perfect. This problem is compounded by the difficulty most parents have reconciling the image of the large, self-willed teenager before them with their memories of a small, obedient, preadolescent. Further complicating matters is the fact that raising children kills many brain cells and the others are quite often panic-stricken or in hiding. Ever notice how they do roll call whenever they just want one of you?
Of course your parents are irrational. It’s not only an occupational hazard, but it’s one of the requirements. Has anyone ever heard of rational parents? A show of hands, please? I thought so.
Parents don’t recover from raising children until the last one leaves the nest. Many never recover, but there is hope. My mother, for instance, has become a charming, intelligent, wise woman, despite the impressions of her I formed while I was growing up.
Hang in there. Millions of people have survived the well-intentioned advice of parents-in-panic all over the world. I suspect you’ll be one of them.
