Why is my penis only comfortable in ONE position?

I mean, in the condition it spends most of its time in (alas :frowning: ) it’s quite flexible. But unless little Willy is laying along my body pointing up, I feel distinctly uncomfortable. I’ve tried every other way: pointing it down and curling it around my gonads, collapsing it back into itself so it’s pointing straight out, pointing off to the left, etc. Everything else is uncomfortable. Why? I just don’t get it.

::wanders in, thinking to comment on hubby’s habits, decides she’d better not::

{{{{{{lizard}}}}}} (thinks about copping a feel, decides not a prudent move for a married woman to do)

::wanders slowly out again, biting her tongue and trying not to smile::

Sorry Lizard, I’m not qualified to answer this question, but I will now proceed to ask all male employees in my office what their favourite “position” is for you :slight_smile:

They wouldn’t tell :frowning:

I don’t know why, but I’m the same way. I guess there is really nothing else for me to add.

Because that’s how it’ll be when you’re dead and lying in a coffin. For once in your life, it’s thinking ahead. ahem

Sorry; just watched “Mishima” and I’m in a grim mood.

Hmm… I’ve just always let Little SPOOFE dangle about willy-nilly (no pun intended). I’m not exactly John Holmes, so I’ve never needed to “pick a leg and commit”, but I’ve also never found any particular penis position to be downright uncomfortable (unless, of course, undue pressure is being applied).

Maybe it’s because you were circumsized. :smiley:

I’m not a guy. BUT I notice that my husband’s lays (lies?) kinda sideways to the left. He’s “blessed” and when he wears jeans he’s got a noticeable leftish bulge toward his thigh. Weird. I never thought about it before, but it seems like one position would be more comfortable for dangly bits like that.

I think this thread is better suited for IMHO.

Cajun Man - SDMB Moderator

Mine always points to the East.

Seriously, though, it has hung to the left (rather a long way down the left, I might add) for as long as I can remember. The good side to this is that I always know where to find it. The bad side is that, as the OP says, it never feels comfortable in any other position (except for when in use).

Also, I have developed a curious kink to the left but that’s okay, 'cause the ladies dig it.

cornflakes (walks into room and looks around.)
(…with audience waiting, still scatching.)
(finally looks down to consider the O.P…)

Mine hangs left naturally. I guess that the ligaments (or whatever holds a penis to the responsible party) have taken a set over the years.

It could be worse. Does anyone else remember being in grade school and getting hardons that stuck straight out? Maybe we did it ourselves when we pushed the embarrassing thing off to the side.


In Britian, IIRC, this is called “dressing on the left.” (or “on the right” as the case may be). Trust the so-veddy-propah Brits to come up with a euphemism for which way your Hangy-Down hangs.

To answer your question, on the left. Just feels comfortable that way.

Mine goes right. It’s only uncomfortable when I accidently step on it.

I don’t stick mine anywhere when I put on my boxer-briefs. But now that I think of it, as I’m sitting, it tends to gravitate to the left.

Oh, and I bend slightly to the left when engorged. :wink:

  • s.e.

My SO claims that all “normal” men have it hanging to the left…I wonder if he’s asked himself this same question and decided on an answer he was comfortable with… :smiley:

:wanders out of the room:
“Oh, Sweeeetie…!”

Mine points off to the left a bit. Also, like scott evil, I also point to the left when at attention.

But for day-to-day business, I agree with Lizard… it has to be right up against my pelvis (? for lack of a better descriptor) area to be fully comfortable. I always thought this was due to 1) wearing briefs as a child, it naturally snugs up against your body, and 2) sleeping on my stomach as a child, this is obviously the only position that is remotely comfortable. Despite having made the switch to boxers a few years ago, I still feel a little too loose in them sometimes, especially when I’m feeling a little… randy, and the hangin’ & swingin’ can get somewhat obnoxious.
[deep, dark secret] Sometimes I still break out a pair of the ol’ tighty-whities and wear 'em for a day for old time’s sake…[/deep, dark secret]

Tried to think up a witty reply, but after reading Zebra’s, I give up.

I think the majority ‘dress to the left’ simply because the majority are right-handed, and dressing to the left is much more convenient at the urinal. From this I would surmise that
a)most of us are ‘normal’ like mnemosyne’s hubby,
b)Zebra is left-handed, and
c)Lizard and White Lightning have no hands at all.

If that were true my sex life would be even more boring than it is now. :o