So, it’s 4:30 AM. I go out to move my car and I notice a full-sized refrigerator sitting quietly on my front steps. Curious, no? I figure there’s got to be an interesting story behind that.
Let me paint the picture a little clearer. I live in Lincoln Park, Chicago. A fairly affluent and active neighborhood in Chicago. Home to DePaul university, lots of the yuppies and the nuevo riche. Clean, safe, and filled with bars, restaurants, stores and boutiques. I live in a moderate apartment building, 3 stories, 9 units, the facilities are wholly maintained by the management company.
I’m at a loss why there’d be a unattended refrigerator on my front stoop at 4:30 AM on a Friday morning. It’s not as if someone would have been moving out with it since it belongs to the building. There’s no packaging or delivery slips so it’s not recently delivered and waiting to be picked up. It appears to be in perfectly functional condition and it’s completely by it’s lonesome.
I’m stumped and I’m sure you folks can imagine some scenarios in which this item may have landed itself at my abode. Please share.
Any wonder she ignored your working-class arse. You should have gone for the top-shelf stuff, y’know, like the mouldy yoghurt and the fossilised mung-bean sprouts.
Are you kidding? Whatever is in it has gone so rancid as to grant movement to the immobile. I wouldn’t open it without a young priest, and old priest, Jesus, and Jesus’ older and tougher brother Vinnie.
Kambuckta, I got the deluxe model. When it’s empty, it’ll order pizza. Unfortunately it likes feta and anchovies.
The ninja door step prize person strikes again. Didn’t we just have someone recently who found a lazagna on their door step? Maybe the fridge is supposed to go with it.
Hmm, maybe it’s some quantum shift thing. The fridge and lasagna were together in some dudes house before a tear in the space-time continuum sent them hurdling through the ether. First the lasagna reconstituted on one place, now the fridge here. Just think, it could explain all the random foodstuffs scattered all over the world.
It’s the government, yanno. They finally figured it out!
it’d be a first for ANYTHING they figure out. Philadelphia Experiment
You know. I could go for some orange juice right now. Extra pulpy…chop chop!!
First full-sized appliances…next, maybe an android destroyer capable of hurling lasers out of his cock and crushing a man’s windpipe with his bionic scrotum.
Yes, that orange juice comment was meant for you. Now get to it!!!
I am god. Destroyer of life!!!
Muwhahahahahahahahaha
Ohhh… mysterious. It wasn’t just lasagna that materialized, there was a salad, chicken and soda pop. My theory is, this x-files meal has just repackaged itself in fridge to look more attractive to the next target (you). I think it is bait concealing an interdimensional fish-hook that will yank you into the grip of a trolling alien life form. Don’t bite
