Why is white chocolate called “white chocolate” when it doesn’t have any chocolate in it? Why not call it “sweet cocoa butter” or even better “blechy white crap”?
It comes from the cacoa tree, just as regular chocolate does, though you are right in that it doesn’t have the cacoa solids in it. They give it the name “chocolate” because of it’s origin I would posit.
Regular chocolate and white chocolate both come from the seeds of the cacao plant. Regular chocolate contains both the fat from the seeds (called “cocoa butter”) and the solids (called “cocoa”), and is often sweetened with sugar. White chocolate is cocoa butter combined with sugar. Most of the flavor of regular chocolate comes from the cocoa solids, but some of it also comes from the cocoa butter. White chocolate has only the flavor of the cocoa butter, which makes it faintly chocolate-like.
Actually some brands also add vanilla to white chocolate. 
Check the link in my post for confirmation.
According to the Wikipedia article someone else referenced, “as white chocolate does not contain cocoa solids or cocoa mass, it does not meet the standards to be called chocolate in many countries.” If calling white chocolate white chocolate irks you so much, go move to one of the jurisdictions where it’s illegal to refer to it as such.
You’re right - it should be called pale yellow chocolate.
Ultimately, because people decided to point to it and say “That’s white chocolate.”
The origins are ultimately irrelevant. Things are named because a consensus exists that the particular thing has a particular name.
And here I was thinking this was going to be a thread about basketball nicknames.
Besides taste and color, what other food has the same texture and uses as regular chocolate?
They can both be melted at low temps, formed into bars, used as coating on various foods. They’re uses are pretty much identical.
In the USA, AFAIK- there’s no such thing as “white chocolate”. Which is true, “WC” being simply sweetened cocoa butter.
Because it’s white. And it’s chocolate (loosely).
Peanut butter, cinnamon and butterscotch chips come to mind…
My guess is that “blechy white crap” didn’t sell well in product placement tests.
Apparently, there has only been an FDA standard defining “white chocolate” in the US since January 1, 2004. This according to the wikipedia article. The standard itself, in all of its tedious glory, may be found here (Federal Register 67 FR 62171). It’s a hell of a slog to read, but here’s the summary:
They go on to give a fairly detailed definition of the product, and what it may/may not/must contain. Apparently, their standard agrees with some others: “Finally, the white chocolate food standard, which is consistent with the standards of Canada, the European Union (EU), and Codex Alimentarius Commission (Codex), will promote international harmonization.” White Chocolate for World Harmony, I guess. I could get behind that. 
It’s just good marketing. The same reason that “yellow delicious” apples are really more closely related to other, less popular, varieties.
Oh, you mean tan chocolate?
None of these will form a hard coating.
So you don’t want to call it “chocolate” because it contains no chocolate. But you are happy to call it “crap”. Curiously, the manufacturers don’t list that among the ingredients, either.
besides taste and colour, tallow.