My question is, Is handy a left handy or a right handy?
Dear handy, you have to accept that you’re an institution here and much loved. Not many people could handle the constant joking references, and you’ve earned respect for that alone.
I frequently disagree with what you write, but it is often very amusing to read your short, sharp contributions. Sometimes (as above) you nail it.
And when you hovered teasingly on 9997 posts the whole board was in suspense.
The jibes are just part of being a star, mate.
Redboss
Quick question, Redboss reminded me of it when he mentioned the hovering over 9997 posts thing. What was handy’s official 10,000th post? I think a search on his name might actually inialate the server…
Yes, I did stop at 9999 just for kicks, not to throw off the contest of when I would reach 10,000 
I really thought the board would upchuck or something; but I guess it can handle it just fine.
Thanks Redboss, you state the obvious. I also talk this way in person with my friends. They also often respond like the people on the board are doing to this method of discussion. handy hears a different drummer.
Would you run that by me again?
Would that be jazz, rap or John Philip Sousa? Aynsley Dunbar?
And who better to stare into the monitor with critical aplomb than someone who never has to listen to “Sproink! You’ve got mail!” 
Hey, look, a visually impaired smiley! We need a hearing impaired smiley!! And before you say how insensitive, I used to be able to hear way over the normal limit, and now I am losing it fast (down to 30% below normal) so I should get one bad joke a month at least. Besides, even the smiley is smiling. See? ;j too much hair in my ears…
No Jab,I won’t explain it, it’s just something deaf people say about hearing people.
BPBob, everyone is deaf on the message board, it has a kinda way of making everyone equal, if you catch my drift.
I want you to explain it because it’s so ungrammatical. The syntax is atrocious. It’s “sic, sic, sic.”
I thought you were waiting until my birthday, as was my original prediction in the OP of that thread. A shame that wasn’t the reason.
Actually, jab, it’s not ungrammatical at all. It’s a bit flowery, yes, one might even say anachronistic, in a nineteenth century English poet sort of way. Still, it’s entirely grammatically correct.
Although it could use a few commas, thusly:
handy, I beg of you, forgive me for daring to copy-edit your words. I’ll post a full retraction and apology should you feel your honor demands it.
To anyone wishing to invoke Gaudere’s Law on the above, I humbly request a little slack. I don’t have a copy of The Elements of Style, and I just did my best to neither misplace, nor to add superfluous, commas.
Here, here, stofsky ! I happen to have a Shi Tzu at home and you know not of what you speak.
Such a canine might seem to be annoying but, in fact, they were the real pillars of stability in ancient China: Were you a shit-bird or disloyal or crooked, the Shi Tzu would “see into your soul” (like the Shadow used to do), bite your ankle, and the order to chop off your head (or worse) would almost-immediately follow.
I suppose, however, one could call the judge/jury who found one guilty of a capital crime “annoying”. 