I’m an old queer too, and I would not use that term, especially not in passing without any context, and paired (as Ulfreida noted) with a very neutral term. And I find it very surprising that Turble had no notion that anyone would be bothered by it.
@Turble, that you use it all the time with your close friends is fine. Would you write (or have written) a memo at work with that term in it? Or a notice in your church bulletin? Don’t we deserve the same consideration as those readers? If you’re as old as I am, you must remember the toxic history of that word. Reclamation doesn’t happen instantly just because you and your friends have embraced it.
The way some folks tag the flag as if they’re in the final round of Jeopardy don’t be surprised if you get a topic ban preventing you from referring to yourself however you like.
Turble, in his response, requested a banned word list. We do need to be aware of the taboos.
Age is a consideration. I would have had no problem using words like queer or Jap in conversation with my mother. However, I would not have used some words that are common on this forum, like motherfucker, cocksucker or asshole. Times change.
As an ‘old queer’, then you both know the history of that word, and that its use is dependant on context. It’s a word used liberally, mainly as an adjective, by younger generations without regard to its history, but normally in a respectful context, and often tongue in cheek by older generations, but on an anonymous, mixed message board, throwing out ‘the queers’ is not appropriate. And if you are an old queer yourself (as I’m a middle-aged one), you know it.
It’s not about banning words, it’s about careful and respectful use of those words. Starting a conversation with ‘I came out as queer to my parents’ - perfectly fine. ‘Not another ad for the queers’… can you spot the difference?
That would be me. I only use the word at all when I am among people who refer to themselves that way. I came of age in the 1970’s when its use without perjorative meaning was very much restricted to the gay community. I’m still very cautious.
There have been lots of non-whites on TV for quite a while now but this preponderance of interracial and queer couples is something I’ve only been seeing since the last election.
I think it was the combination of the word being used in a negative context rather than the word itself. Since the word also has a very negative connotation, care must be taken to ensure that it is not being using it as a slur. Since the quote was complaining about their inclusion, it was easy to read it as a slur even if you didn’t mean it that way. It would be better to use something more like “unconventional sexual relationships” or something like that which doesn’t overlap with a common slur.