How do I put that on my Amazon Wish List, and can the cannon fire forwards?
I think they are mostly do-it-yourself projects. Ideally you would of course want to have a 360 degree range of fire. Personally, I would equip mine with asshole-seeking missiles.
There is a certain sort of fungibility to words, sometimes speaking to just one person with cause what you say to spread to the others. Just something like, “You know, I would appreciate it very much if you could get your kids to move from the middle of the street, it might be a useful habit for them to pick up.” I suspect that just a few seconds out of your commute (or whatever) might relieve a fair bit of your ongoing stress. I mean, all they really see in the morning is a noisy, smelly big steel box, connecting them with the fact that there is a person in there could have a real impact on their perception.
I doubt the OP’s vehicle is steam powered.
You and your neighborhood friends didn’t play in the street? We used to, because with hedges, trees, cars, and the like, we couldn’t get a long enough stretch of uninterrupted yard for a good football game, or to fly various sorts of airplanes and drive remote controlled cars, etc…
That said, we were always pretty careful to get ourselves and our stuff out of the street when cars came. Only one incident that I recall, and it was more of an asshole thing than anything. We had these big foam gliders, and one got stuck in a tree. A car came down the street before we could retrieve it, and as the car neared, the glider fell out of the tree, and the driver swerved into the left lane of our 2 lane street to run it over.
I agree with that post, except we didn’t clear the street, we just moved to the side making sure that there was plenty of room for the car to safely get by even if that meant we were within a few feet of each other at closest approach. Nobody ever freaked out that we were still in the street and nobody ever got run over.
Of course everybody also drives through tollbooths three feet wider than their cars at 50 miles an hour too so maybe there’s just more confidence about such things.
You just can imagine some customizing shop in Texas (of course it would be in Texas) making a mint turning out some sweet pimped-out versions.
I know you meant in the temperamental sense but I had to snicker at the idea of ordnance that homes in on somebody quite so intimately…
Tollbooths exhibit ever-so-slightly more predictable behavior than humans.
True, and when I’m on a street where cars and people are coexisting (which doesn’t seem to stress me the way it does other people) the cars are generally going much slower (at speeds described by the OP it really doesn’t strike me as all that more dangerous than driving through a mall parking lot).
But you’re distracting me.
Yay…ire! I-R-E! IRE!
Both senses, actually. Ideally it would target assholes’ assholes.
<Toucan Sam>
“Follow your nose! It always knows!”
</Toucan Sam>
We were on a dead end cul-de-sac street, with huge back yards that all joined up together, and massive common ground areas – open fields, and a forest with a stream – all around us. The street was smaller than the other options. No one ever ran over our toys, though (just a few dogs).
My kids and our neighbors’ kids do this now. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac, and nearly all the houses have small kids. Those that don’t are well aware of all the kids, so almost everyone approaching is driving slowly and watching for the kids (and often parents) who are playing or standing in the street. Whenever a car comes into sight, someone yells, “Car!” and all the kids and most of the toys get onto the grass.
Having said that, I agree with the OP. It sounds like in that case, there’s more traffic and no real reason to be on the street. Though, my opinion might change if the kids in the OP are actually playing and not just standing around and the OP is the only car that ever drives by.
I was thinking more of this
Butt wouldn’t targeting assholes’ assholes make you an asshole? I’d be wary of this, as I’ve already admitted to not being a very nice person.
I tend to think of it as a feature, not a bug.