Do you do good or bad?
Do you do good works?
Do you take advantage of your fellow man at every opportunity?
In order to successfully sell your soul to the devil you must not believe in One God
and you must not do good works.
Lip service does not hack it with the Evil One.
You must trip little ole ladies attemping to cross the street.
You must commit murder and mayhem.
Or at the very least nasty rumors and lousy driving skills.
Quite pussy footing around.
If you expect any type of return on your soul
you must not only renouce The One And The Only
and slam the door in the face ot the person behind you in public
you must say, with feeling, “I support the losing team.”
However you can sell your soul,
cheap,
whenever you say,
If all of my friends and lovers are going to hell, and the Pope (or Jerry Falwell) is going to heaven, what’s the attraction of heaven meant to be again?
Maybe he’s already got a few just likes your burning in eternal hellfire. Or maybe he knows that in the end he’ll get your soul anyway so why pay for it now?
Wait a minute. If wanting to sell your soul to the devil makes you an a priori candidate for hell- somebody the devil doesn’t have to pay for, then…who IS getting cash up front?
I read just last week in one of those esteemed newspapers they sell at the checkout station in the grocery store that Satan has been booted from the business. I guess several of his assistants removed him from power over a botched deal concerning 300 souls. This fine piece of journalism also stated that Satan was living in the NYC subway system. (And I thought the aligators were scary!)
Now, you know, even if there isn’t a Devil, that doesn’t say ANYTHING about whether there’s a God or not. I personally don’t really believe in a “Devil”, but I do believe in God. So, your argument about religion being a sham because you can’t sell your soul really doesn’t hold water.
Now, even if the Devil DOES exist, why on Earth would he appear before you in all his infernal glory with a contract for your soul? If the Devil is anything, he is not so blatantly obvious. Consider this quote from Babylon 5:
This theme is also repeated in Stephen King’s story Needful Things. The Devil doesn’t need to do something as blatant and vulgar as getting you to “sell” your soul. No, he just asks you to do a “small favor.” If you’ve seen B5 or read Needful Things, you’ll realize that’s just as certain a path to Hell as any contract.
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