Why would you name your kid...

[ivan_astikov]

Ed Balls seems particularly cruel, unless you were to guide him towards a football career(“soccer” to you US heathens!).

p.s. Harry Balls would have just been plain evil.

[gang_green]

@freekalette

My dad went to school with a kid named Richard Fuchs. The “ch” is hard, so the poor lad was called Dick Fucks. I can’t think of anything worse than that.

Eh, he can change the nickname, and become a Rich Fuck.

[Drain_Bead]

Our law clerks used to keep a list of crazy names. One of my favorites was Alpacino. Another one was Bonjovi. Care to guess what year Bonjovi was born in?

[Little_Nemo]

Our law clerks used to keep a list of crazy names. One of my favorites was Alpacino.

I have to admit I was halfway through Tropic Thunder before I got the joke about the character named Alpa Chino.

[BigNik]

I was once sold a fridge by a fairly helpful guy whose nametag read ‘Ben’. It wasn’t until I looked at the invoice until I realised that his name was Ben Wa.

Great googly moogly - if the parents had that surname they’d have to know, right? And he wouldn’t go by “Benjamin”?

That said, there was a fairly powerful state politician here who for years went by “Dick Face”. The fun thing was that no media organisation would ever refer to him without lengthening the name to “Richard”.

[Uncle_Brother_Walker]

@Dublin11

It’s to do with the oft-heard refrain that in some (all?) American accents, merry, marry and Mary sound the same, where as people from other places have different pronunciations for all three.
It’s why English speakers who aren’t American always mangle Maryland, until an American explains it to them.

Yeah, they pronounce it “MuhrrLund”. And they say “Balmer”. Hun.

I have since given up on demanding people don’t call me ‘hun’ or ‘dear’ or ‘baby’. It’s a regional thing. I now just ignore them.

You can fight ignorance, but you can’t change a culture. Such as they are. :rolleyes:

[astorian]

@tim314

My grandfather’s name was Harry, and it’s never even occurred to me that someone could pronounce it differently than “hairy”.

Now I have to rewatch the Harry Potter movies to see if the kids pronounce “Harry” and “hairy” differently. If they do, I never noticed it.

It’s not just an American thing- remember how, decades back, Monty Python had a sketch about a dim-witted police detective named Harry Organs?

[Crocodiles_And_Boulevards]

@BigNik

I was once sold a fridge by a fairly helpful guy whose nametag read ‘Ben’. It wasn’t until I looked at the invoice until I realised that his name was Ben Wa.

Great googly moogly - if the parents had that surname they’d have to know, right? And he wouldn’t go by “Benjamin”?

That said, there was a fairly powerful state politician here who for years went by “Dick Face”. The fun thing was that no media organisation would ever refer to him without lengthening the name to “Richard”.

Wait… what is “Ben Wa”?

[Freudian_Slit]

@Crocodiles_And_Boulevards

Wait… what is “Ben Wa”?

Ben wa balls are balls inserted into the vagina or anus for sexual stimulation.

[pseudotriton_ruber_ruber]

@Enola_Gay

I went to college with a Rusty Dick.

At the same university, I also knew a Paula Law. Everyone called her Pa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la (as in Deck the halls…)

But at least Paula could get married and drop the Law. Poor Rusty…

There was a ballplayer named Rusty Kuntz. A more unappetizing image is hard to imagine.

[Siam_Sam]

@BigNik

That said, there was a fairly powerful state politician here who for years went by “Dick Face”. The fun thing was that no media organisation would ever refer to him without lengthening the name to “Richard”.

You must be in Australia. I’m sure I remember an Aussie reporter telling me about him.

[Wash]

The best way I can describe the difference between Harry/hairy or marry/Mary/merry is that the vowel sounds in Harry, marry and merry are shorter than in hairy and Mary. The ha- and ma- sounds in Harry and marry would have the same length and sound as they do in hat or mat, only followed with a -ree rather than a -t. Merry would be the same (only matching up with met, obviously). Hairy and Mary, meanwhile, have the longer vowel sounds that most American accents use.