Why, you must be some kind of... Communist!

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was out having a few drinks with friends the other night when the conversation turned (as it invariably does) to sports.

I should pause this narrative (before it’s even really gotten off the ground, which is most unorthodox, but bear with me) to mention my extreme lack of interest (ranging to “Passionate Hatred” on occaison) of most Team Sports. I know there are a lot of sports fans here, but I’ll hold my tongue and simply say I’ve never seen the point and I worry about people who obsess over football or rugby or baseball, but Live And Let Live, as I say when I want to avoid getting into arguments I know I can’t win.

Anyhoo, we’re having a few drinks at a party and someone- who doesn’t know me- starts asking about what I think of the latest line up of some Rugby team. I’m trying to be friendly, noncommittal, give the sort of non-answers I usually do in these situations: “They haven’t really been tested yet, but no doubt they’re waiting for the chance”, “Not everyone will be happy with the changes, I imagine”, and so on… before trying to shift the topic onto something a bit less sports-orientated (“Say, did you see that thing on the news about the cat in Venezuela that can play the piano?”).

But no, this person was determined to get into a Sports Discussion, and eventually I had to come clean and say “Look, I’m sorry, I don’t actually follow the rugby”.

Well, the temperature in the room dropped about 10 degrees, and an awful silence descended on the immediate area- the sort of silence that would normally reserved for people who admit to having erotic fantasies involving family members or livestock, or, in my case, commit the ultimate Australian social faux pas: Disliking Sport.

I’m well used to the fact that not liking sport is seen as “unusual” in many parts of this country (but ironically, when people say “What do you do for a hobby then?” and I say “I go hunting and shoot feral animals” it’s back to happy Bloke-land and talking about Titties and Beer), but I still run across the reaction that anyone who doesn’t like sport is somehow “Un-Australian” often enough for me to wonder if this sort of thing happens to other people.

So, do you ever have moments were you share some bit of information about yourself, and suddenly realise that people are looking at you as if you have Communist sympathies? And how do you deal with them? (Bearing in mind most people who are that closed to different viewpoints don’t handle sarcasm well, either…)

2

Well, there was that time when I told everyone I had joined the Communist Party. But then I sent them all to a gulag and everything worked out just fine.

3

Nope, I’m one of the quiet, non-talkative types. Probably started in the second grade, when the teacher was trying to tell us what communism was all about. Somehow I wasn’t getting what must have been obvious to everyone else, that teacher was trying to tell us what was bad about a planned economy. No, the session did not go well for me.

Anyhow, skilled conversationalists - not me, that is - can turn the talk back around. For sports, just admire the team, saying that they’ve got a lot of great players and a good chance to go all the way.

“If they can hold their defense together and put some points on the board, I think they can beat any team in the league.” Pretty inane, I guess, but sometimes there just is no point in saying what you really think.

4

I was a big, big, big sports fan up through high school but went cold turkey on television watching ever since and subsequently lost interest in sports, big time.

I have been accused as “Un-American” for not watching the local professional football team’s games on TV and for not following either of the local professional baseball teams. But then, most of my co-workers don’t expect too much of me either, based on my appearance–John Lennon on the cover of Abbey Road but brown hair and about 100 lbs heavier.

5

But that’s the FUN part of it. I can usually get in five minutes of mordant put-downs before they discover I’ve been insulting them.

When confronted by a sports fanatic (or horse nut or ConspiracyTheorist), I usually nod, graciously, and let him expound at length until I can change the topic or find an excuse to go looking for a conversation more conducive to my amusement. I see no reason to insult someone who likes different things than I like. (The sarcasm is only brought out when the tone-deaf twit insists on demanding support for his sport views.)

As to dropping personal information that will shock others in the room, my friends are long since acquainted with my peculiar interests and in the last job I had where I was meeting new people, I was the “hostile” inspector of their work, so we did not have to spend inordinate amounts of time exchanging pleasantries.

On those occasions where an announcement of interests has transformed their image of me to one of a two-headed calf, I have made it clear that I was not interested in foisting my interests off on them and they have generally left me alone.

6

I’m glad somebody else does this. It’s actually amazing how long you can keep one of these conversations going.

7

I feel kind of lucky. I don’t have many friends, but the few I do have, like me, have pratically no interest in sports, so I’ve never had this conversation. My immediate family is much the same way(I have some relatives who care, but I rarely talk to them anyway).

8

How about those _____s, hey?

Yeah, amazing.

Catch the game last night?

Naah, I was um… working.

Geez, that _________inski, what a pass (tackle/catch/hit/run/slide/etc)

(Remembers some vague month-old thing on the news with that name and a torn ligament): YEAH mate, good to see he’s come back so well after his injury, isn’t it???

You’re so right. The doctors said he’d be off for six weeks.

Yeah, well I know a few people don’t like that coach [I have no fucking idea who the coach is or what people think of him], but he obviously trained _______inski just right over the last few weeks. Didn’t push him too hard. Probably good physio too.

Absolutely right! Spoken like a true _________s supporter. Good on you, mate!

Yeah. Uh… heh. :eek:

9

I’ve been in team sports discussions. I just let my eyes glaze over, and tell 'em I have no idea what they’re warbling on about. Dunno about being considered a communist, but

wouldn’t particularly bother me. :smiley:

10

“Un-Australian” is a word which has been given waaaay too much currency in the last 10 years. It’s the “why do you hate our freedoms/puppies/democracy?” of the Lingua Australis.

As for sports, 36 years a South Sydney man has taught me not to talk about football at all.

11

I don’t think England is as fervent about sport as Australia, but still I have this problem all the time. I am the only non-football-watching male in my office. Most of the women are into football too, and half the staff compete against each other in a Fantasy Football league. When the subject arises, I inwardly groan and detach myself from the conversation.

The other problem I encounter is the assumption that, because I am male, I will not only know what they’re talking about, and which team - it’s unthinkable that I don’t. I suppose it’s a bit like me and current affairs.

I recall a former colleague’s similar experience with a taxi driver in Dublin, where 99% of the population supports Manchester United by default.

“Did you see the match last night?” asked the cabbie. “Great result!”

“'Fraid not,” replied my colleague. “I don’t watch football.”

“I think they should have played 4-3-3, don’t you?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see it. Like I say, I don’t watch football.”

“Keane wasn’t pulling his weight though, what do you reckon?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t watch football. I don’t care about football. I don’t know the first thing about it.”

“Oh.” Pause. “Still, they had to work for it, didn’t they?”

12

I am a sports fan, and I can do without the conversations like that. We have one of those in my office:

One Of Those: How about that Rockies win last night?
Me: Yeah, good game, they played well.
One Of Those: Weren’t you surprised to see Hurdle order Jamie Wright to throw a curve ball with the count 2-2 and runners on first and third with only one out in the sixth inning while the wind was blowing from right to left and the dew point was 46 to a right-handed batter who only hits .220 against fastballs in that situation?
Me: …
One Of Those: If there were two outs, then obviously, that changes everything.
Me: Well, time to get to work!

Sheesh. It’s just a game.

13

I don’t drink alcohol in pubs. The reactions to this range from politeness, through wariness to assuming I’m not a real man :eek: , or am a recovering alcoholic, finishing with attempts to spike my drinks. :smack:

May I try an amateur analysis?

Australia is very successful at sport - perhaps people feel you are ‘dissing’ that.
Australia is very successful at organising sport* - perhaps people feel you are ‘dissing’ that.
Australia has a rivalry with England, which is most easily expressed by sports results. Therefore sport matters.

*In the Rugby World Cup at matches between two lower-seeded teams, the Australian organisers encouraged home supporters on one side of the ground to be e.g. ‘Georgians’ for the day, and similarly for the the other side. These teams said they had never experienced such wonderful vocal support and it brought out the best in them.

14

Well, that’s not too bad - you can’t have had many conversations like that over the years…:slight_smile:

15

It’s a sound theory, but I think you’re reading too much into it.

To your average Aussie Bloke, Sports are a Manly, Blokey thing to do/enjoy/follow.

Therefore, any man who doesn’t like Sports is clearly not a Manly, Blokey sort of guy, and must therefore be (looks around, whispers) a poofter. :eek:

If they’re not a poofter, then there’s clearly something a bit suspect about any guy who doesn’t like sport- he’s clearly not “One of the lads”.

Fortunately, I can summon up enough interest in Cars to turn those sorts of situations around- I’m not even close to being an amateur Petrolhead/Motorphile, but I can appreciate a nice car when I see it, and if you liberally sprinkle the conversation with references to “Turbo Timers”, “Blow-Off Valves”, “Bathurst”, “Brocky”, “Lowndesy”, “Ford/Holden” “Pimp My Ride”, “Car Sluts”, “Spoiler Kits”, and “Mad Max’s Car” (with a wistful “They don’t make them like that anymore…”), then you can pretty much convince all but the most die-hard Petrolhead that you have 98 Octane petrol for blood and you’ve replaced your Kidneys with an Oil Filter. :wink:

Since Cars are Manly, Blokey thing to do/enjoy/follow, it’s OK to not like the Rugby if you like your cars, apparently.

I was at a wedding this evening (My fiancee’s boss), and we were seated at the table with the State Manager (in other words, my fiancee’s boss’s boss), which meant I had to be on my very best behaviour. (As it turns out, we got on really well, which was good for everyone). Midway through the reception dinner, he dropped The Footy Bomb on me:

“So, did you catch the Footy on Friday Night?”

I thought quickly.

“No, I was out hunting and missed it. Who was playing?”
“Warratahs vs The Crusaders”
“Need I ask who won?”
“Crusaders, 17-11”
“That’s not a bad effort… I bet there were a lot of disappointed Warratahs fans, though!”
“Too right, but it was a close game and (some footy player I’ve never heard of) got in a couple of great trys near the end.”
“Well, someone won’t be buying the drinks at his local tonight then… Hey, did you see the Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow the Bride arrived in? What is that, a '73? I saw it had white-walled tyres on in. That’s not something you can get from Beaurepaires…”

Conversation turned to classic cars, I come out looking like “One of the lads”, fiancee isn’t embarrassed in front of Important People from Head Office, and a good time was had by all!

One day I must see how far you can carry a “generic” conversation on something that you know nothing about… :wink:

16

If it’s strangers, all you have to do is say you’re the designated driver.

17

I get ‘the look’ when I tell people that I don’t like Apple Pie.

18

The chick variation of this is not giving a wet fart about celebrity/royal gossip. There are people in the world who expect me to actually have an opinion on some actress’s breeding habits. Shocking!

19

Dunno… Maybe you should stop being non commital, be a little more assertive and say flatly from the get-go : “I’m not interested in sports, I don’t watch sports” as I do. Never has been an issue for me.

20

Several years ago I spent a little time doing temp work. At one office I was filing away, and the sixtyish woman who was working in the room with me asked me something about my husband and how he must be a big Packer fan.

“Um, no, actually, my husband isn’t really into sports. He doesn’t watch the Packers.”

“WHAT!? WHAAAT??? WHAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT!!!11!one!” She started shrieking like a crazy person. “He DOESN’T WATCH the PACKERS??? AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHH!!!”

You may think I am exaggerating, but I swear that I am not.

Yes, lady, believe it or not, there are other ways to spend your time besides sitting slack-jawed in front of the tube, watching a bunch of millionaires running around on a field. If that’s your choice, fine. We choose others. Get over it.

Sheesh.