A mission for all : : : : :
I’m going to write a movie script in the very short future. As creative as I can be, I need some input from everyone. I need everyone to post the wierdest, strangest, or funny thing that has ever happened to them. Some of the best will be collaborated into my script. Thanks.
(ANYTHING GOES)
Since there is no question here, let’s move this to IMHO.
samclem
My life is nothing but a long series of weird, strange or funny events. I wouldn’t know where to start. 
Start last week then 
Hey, I’m still pissed about that time back in the 80’s when I met this guy named Chris in a bar, and we got to talking about how when I was in high school I used to always play hooky. And there was this one day, you see, when I pulled the mother of all… um, hookies… and I got my chick out of class, and my buddy too, and we went, like, cruising… and we went to a ballgame, and hell I even sang on a float!
What, you think I’m going to make the same mistake twice? Write your own script!
Not the weirdest thing ever. But probably the weirdest thing today:
I was reading a prisoner’s file this evening. He was arrested for statuatory rape when he was 18. At his interview, he stated he hadn’t known the girl was underage when he had sex with her.
The girl was his 13 year old sister.
One day I failed to exist on paper.
I went to the college work office to fill out paperwork so I could get on the payroll for the current semester for my job. They couldn’t find my paperwork from the last 2 semesters and I had to fill out the “new employee” form rather than just “sign me up for another semester” form. It was quite odd because everything at college revolves around your SSN and they couldn’t find my stuff based on my SSN or name.
Then I went to the orthodontist’s. I had been going to the ortho’s regularly every month for about a year. They had called me a few days earlier and left a message about changing my appointment, so I showed up on the new day. Only they had NOT actually scheduled me for the new day (the day I showed up), just cancelled the original day. So when I got there they had no room for me and I couldn’t get in. Wasted an hour of my day.
I got home and I had been waiting for something in the mail. It hadn’t come and I called the person that was sending it. They had indeed sent it but later we found out they’d written the wrong address and it took a while for it to get back to them and then to me.
Sort of inconsequential little things but I recall it being EXTREMELY weird at the time, that it all happened in one day. I remember lamenting to my friend that I “didn’t exist on paper” that day. Creepy enough that I remember it almost 10 years later.
This actually happened to my husband. His first wife had left him and he went on a 2-week bender with a friend, his sister, and another woman. He was falling down drunk the entire time. He had called in to work and told them he wouldn’t be in for a while.
So anyway, people kept calling and the group kept drinking. Finally he took the phone off the hook. They were literally knee-deep in beer cans strewn all over the floor and they had the music blasting. This was a serious bender. Hundreds of beers had been consumed.
After repeated attempts to reach my husband, his employer kept getting the busy signal, so he asked the operator to interrupt the call so he could see if my husband was ready to come back to work. All he hears is the wild sound of drunken people and loud music. He assumes my husband was *kidnapped by hippies * and calls the cops.
The cops come by and see this drunken bunch of people and the disastrous appearance of the house and made everyone cough up ID and made sure no one was there against their will. Confident this was just a houseful of drunk people, they went on their way.
I think it was another 4 or 5 days before my husband returned to work.
Wierdest thing that ever happened to me. It still freaks me out to think about it.
I grew up in Princess Anne county, Virginia. At the time I was about 19 years old, I lived in the Kempsville area of Virginina Beach. My job was on General Booth Blvd, a couple of miles from the Oceanfront area. I rode a 10 speed racing bike to work and had to be there by six am. The easiest route for me to take to get to work was a long, flat, straight stretch of two lane blacktop known as Princess Anne Road.
At this time, it must have been 1988, or '89, there was a long length of the road where the suburbs just ran out and it became almost deserted. There were no houses, buisinesses, or even street lights along the road. As I usually traveled this section of highway at or about five a.m. there wasn’t any traffic either.
I had about a twelve mile bicycle ride every morning and back every evening. I had spent the summer riding in this manner, and had gotten fairly good at riding and could probibly average about 20-25mph.
I will tell you the wierdest thing that I have ever experienced. Thinking about it still creeps me out to this day, and it has been over 15 years.
I grew up in Princess Anne county, Virginia. In about '88 or '89, I had a job working on General Booth Blvd, near the Oceanfront area of Virginia Beach. At the time, I lived in the Kempsville subdivision. I was young and poor, so I rode a bicycle to work every day. It was about a twelve mile ride, one way, and I made the round trip ride almost every day. I worked from six a.m. until about three in the afternoon. So, I would usually leave my house about five in the morning. After riding all summer, I picked up some leg muscles and some endurance, so I could make the ride in about half an hour. I guess I maintained a good speed.
Let me tell you a little about the route I used to ride. I lived on Princess Anne Road, and it was long, straight and flat. It was a two lane black top highway. One lane going east to the Oceanfront, one going west to Norfolk. Princess Anne Road extened from the Norfolk city limits to the county courthouse, then it made a sharp left turn, and became General Booth Blvd. At this time, there was a long stretch of the highway that was outside of the suburban sprawl. A length of the road, about four miles long was deserted. There were no houses, businesses, or even street lights along the side of the road. There was also no traffic.
I didn’t wear a bicycle helmet, because at the time there was no law saying I had to. I didn’t use a light on my bicycle, because I had reflectors, and could hear a car coming, or see the headlights long before it got close to me. I would usually ride right down the center stripe of the highway. That way, I could get into the lane that was not being used. So most of my mornings, I would ride the entire way and never leave the center stripe. I couldn’t see much, but didn’t need to as long as I heard the hum of my tires on the road, I knew I was ok.
One morning, I was riding along. It was dark. The moon was even covered by clouds. I was at the long dark stretch of highway and speeding along. Out of nowhere, I heard “What the hell?” almost spoken in a whisper, inches to my left. I felt a presence to my right, also inches away, and then it was gone. The whole feeling didn’t even last a second, but it scared the hell out of me.
Thinking back on it later, I realized that I probibly passed between two people wearing dark clothes, walking down the center of the road in the same way that I was riding. If there were people there, I never saw them. I even looked back. I never heard any more than that voice in a near whisper. I could have slowed down to be sure, I could have even gone back to see if there were people there, but I was scared to think of what would happen if there wasn’t.
If there was people walking down the road, I split between them at a dangerous speed, and closer than I would have ever attempted. I sometimes wonder if they ever think about the experience. Did they ever know how close I was? Do they ever think about it?
What would have happened if I had hit one of them? I think about that sometimes. I also think about was anyone really there.
I doubt you can use this in your screenplay, but I had to add it.
Sgt Schwartz
I think I’ve posted this somewhere before, but what tha’ hell…
I was in a store in the mall with a friend of mine, paying for my purchases. Suddenly a guy in a gorilla suit with a delivery bag from a local newspaper hanging around his neck walked in, laid a banana on the counter, and walked out again.
It was so randomly weird that none of us could speak for a full minute. We just looked at each other in confusion.
Lol. So far so good, thanks
The bicycle highway one will go great, along with “non-existent on paper”
More would be great:)
Thanks
I was ‘disappeared’ by the US military once.
I got better though.
This only slightly relates, but a friend of mine saved up for an entire year to buy a monkey suit, just so he could do these kinds of things to people.
A friend of mine, Paul, told me the following: he was at the beach somewhere on the south coast of England about 20 years ago. He was walking along the shingle when he found a seagull with an injured wing. He felt sorry for the bird, so he picked it up, wrapped it in his sweater, and walked towards the town.
On the way he met someone carrying a cat in a basket. “Do you know where the nearest vet is?” he asked. The guy said “you should go down there”, and motioned to the lane he’d just come from. Paul thanked him, and went down the lane, still carrying the seagull, about half a mile or so, and came upon a cardboard sign that said “Animal ceremony this way”. He followed the arrow and entered a field with a tent in it, surrounded by people with dogs, cats, horses, canaries, and so on. He joined them and looked around for a vet.
What he found instead was a pastor, who was grabbing the animals and praying over them in a very ‘charismatic’ style. He came to Paul, grabbed the seagull and started going “HEAL! HEAL!”. Paul was saying “but this animal needs medical attention” and the guy just kept on going “In the name of Jesus, HEAL!”
He eventually went over to the tent and put the seagull on a box, and slunk off, reasoning that there were so many animal lovers there that someone would take it to a vet eventually.
Bizarrest thing I’ve ever heard.
My three year old daughter pulled a Jackass stunt this week. My wife and daughter went into Lowes to pick out some things for our new bathroom. My wife talked to the salespeople in the bathroom section when she wondered where my daughter had gone. She yelled, “Charlotte, where are you?”. My daughter replied “Over Here”.
“What are you doing over there?”
My daughter called “Making Potty!”
The salespeople looked mortified and my wife sprinted over. Sure enough, my daughter had her pants all the way off and was straining to make the dump of a lifetime on one of the display toilets.
The most bizarre thing I ever heard that had anything to do with me (not directly thank Christ) was when a guy I used to work with volunteered to be slaughtered and eaten, because that was his sexual fantasy. http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGGL,GGGL:2005-09,GGGL:en&q="bernd+brandes"
There are a few tales I could spin you:
The time I was attacked by a bear.
The time I uncovered a plot by the people of Ontario to invade America, starting with Florida.
When several friends (not I, though) took a road trip from Albany, NY to Detroit. Upon arriving, the instigator of the road trip flipped off the GM building. Thay all then got back in the car and they went home.
But I think Revtim wins the thread. Hell, I think that story wins the whole damn message board.
This happened just a few weeks ago:
My Dad and I were at the laundromat waiting for one last load of clothes to dry. It had been busy in there a little while before but now it was us sitting in the chairs on the front right side of the store, a couple of people waiting for their clothes to dry in the rear left side of the store and a couple folding clothes in the left front.
We had maybe 5 or 10 minutes to go when the guy who had been folding clothes passed us and started walking down the right side. He got to my dryer, opened it and tossed a big, heavy and apparently damp sweatshirt in! I called out, “That’s mine, that’s mine,” as he closed the door and started walking away.
As I got up, he turned around, opened the door back up and rummaged around my dryer, through my clothes to find his sweatshirt and extricate it, all the while avoiding eye contact and not saying a word. I had been thinking he had accidentally put it in the wrong dryer but then realized mine was the only one running on that whole side. He didn’t have a dryer that was still running!
I was only about halfway there when I shrugged my shoulders and decided to go sit down again. He was obviously some kid who thought he could finish drying his shirt on someone else’s tab. What are ya gonna do? I even thought about letting him do it but by then he was back at his table, folding more clothes, so what the hey?
A few minutes later, he and his girlfriend left with their laundry, the offending sweatshirt draped over his shoulder.
I thought this kind of stuff only happened in movies.
I was estranged from my father for many, many years following my parent’s divorce. One year, I decided to “give” myself the gift of contacting him for my 35th birthday, so I wrote him a letter a month or so before the date. He called, we talked, and it was nice–all “what is so and so doing these days”, nothing deep. I was coming to TN for a few days later in the month just after my birthday, so we agreed to meet in person (at the time, I lived in MA). We met for biscuits at Hardee’s and talked. He was planning to give my niece a car for her 16th birthday later that month, and I suggested he give it to her that coming Sunday, as I was going to be there and could drive him home, since he was going to drive the gift car to her house. It was great to see her get her car, I drove him home, and left with the feeling that this was going to be ok, that I would finally get to know him.
I flew back to MA. He died two days later–massive, unexpected heart attack.
I almost missed making my peace with him. I don’t know why I decided to finally contact him at that time, but I am glad I did.