I think what’s being overlooked are the number of arguments and disagreements actually prevented because women hold their tongues and go with whatever their husbands decide from the beginning.
In my experience, women are programmed to defer to men by default. I seen this dynamic all the time at work. A female supervisor seems more likely to face dissension or critique from her underlings, than males are. It also occurs in the home. A man who voices an opinion or decision is less likely to be challenged or doubted. Women are groomed to be more cautious in their decisions and second guess themselves.
What this means is that most of the time, in day-to-day, routine, non-conflict situations, it’s probably the man who “is right, even when he’s wrong”. Since these situations occur all the time, they are easy to overlook. After all, aren’t we told to keep a protective eye out for the Male Ego all the time? (Who talks about the Female Ego?) To correct him when he’s wrong or disagree with his reasoning is equivalent to emasculating him, so it goes. (What is the female equivalent to emasculization?)
But its easy to notice the conflicts, and that’s where the confirmation bias comes into play. In those situations, it may seem like men have to back down more often. Perhaps this occurs for two reasons: 1) men’s frequent tendency to avoid any confrontation which relies heavily on communication (so they are more likely to surrender than engage) and 2) a woman’s strong desire to get her way this one time out of 100 since it’s her perception that she “surrenders” all of the 99 other times. If a woman is at the point that she is arguing with a man, it’s probably because she feels very strongly that she is right and is not willing to defer to him this time.
Do I think there’s some truth to the meme being discussed? Yes, a grain of it. The saying is incomplete though. It should read: “the wife is always right, even when she’s wrong…because the husband always gets his way, even when he shouldn’t”.