Not necessary. The snail will get it for you.
This, so much.
You probably will not succeed in stretching your nostrils using rings, or marker caps, or anything, but if you do, if won’t make your nose wider, which is what you want. Your nose will look like it does now, except the fleshy sides of your nostrils will puff out when the rings are in, and sag when they are out.
Why do you want to look like this rapper? Or, and I don’t mean to be offensive, but why do you want a “black” nose? Just IMO, while this guy’s nose looks good on him, if you have white skin, and otherwise Caucasian features, a “black” nose will look odd. I have known people who got nose jobs to make their Jewish noses smaller, and the result looked wrong, in a way that was hard to define. Yes, maybe according to some ideal, small nose = attractive, but these people’s noses looked really wrong for their faces. There was nothing wrong with the surgery itself-- the surgeon hadn’t botched it-- they just had the wrong nose for their face. I don’t have any before/after pictures to illustrate, so I’m afraid I’m not making myself clear.
Try to find some software online that will let you give yourself a virtual nose job, and see how you really look with a broad nose.
As with every other problem, duct tape is the answer. Tape one end on the bridge of your nose, right between the eyes, and attach the other end firmly under your chin - be sure to pull it tight! Voila - instant success!
(nosepick) it’s boogER, not boogIE.
And yes, I was going to suggest this method, clearly you and I are on the same wavelength on this.
The OP obviously does not own a wedding ring, but any inexpensive stainless steel or titanium ring would work better than a Sharpie cap, as well as allowing him to continue breathing.
I think they actually call them boogies in England. Not sure where that poster is from, though.
Going to puke now.
I know EXACTLY what you mean. A cute little Irish ski-jump nose in the middle of a strong-featured semitic punim. It looks ridiculous.
There’s some doc in Beverly Hills that specializes in Jewish nose jobs - but his thing is that he does some re-shaping and maybe some reduction, but doesn’t gank the whole Jewish character of the thing. Sounds like a good plan.
I hope Paget Brewster never gets a nose job. I have never seen a big nose look so sexy before. I could actually see women lining up to get their noses made bigger, after her turn on Criminal Minds. I’ve got a shnoz, and while I’m in nowise as sexy as she is, it fits my face. I wouldn’t take rhinoplasty as a gift.
I was so afraid no one was going to mention that thread. 11 years later, and still my favorite.
Yeah, if you wanted to pick a winner, you’ve missed out there, Mama Zappa - s’not ‘boogERs’ here (in Oz), but ‘boogIEs’.
Points though, for finding the link I couldn’t be stuffed putting my finger on.
Knew a Jewish woman who was born with a terrible cleft palate–no nose at all. Once the surgeon was done she had the cutest little Semitic nose! It was a work of art. That kind of cosmetic surgeon I respect and honor. Joan Rivers’ surgeon, not so much.
I just saw an episode of Embarrassing Bodies the other day where they were treating a woman who was born with essentially no vagina. She had normal external genitalia, and then just a little pouch an inch or so in depth. Interestingly, they treated her by giving her a series of, well, dildos, gradually increasing in size. She was instructed to use them to stretch out her pouch into a regular-sized vagina - or at least big enough to use for sex - over a period of many months.
So try sticking a dildo up your nose, OP!
Yeah, but the vagina is supposed to stretch. Not to put to fine an, umm, point on it, but it’s supposed to hold in a tampon, and yet squirt out a baby. No nostril is supposed to be that versatile.
Also, this woman probably had to have some surgery to create an opening to the cervix, unless she didn’t have a cervix and uterus, which is possible-- she may have had androgen insensitivity syndrome, or something.
She had no cervix and no uterus. She was wanting a vagina purely for recreational uses.
When they’re prescribed by a doctor and paid for by insurance, they’re called “vaginal dilators”, not dildos. 
And apparently they hurt like a motherfucking son of a bitch when you need them medically. 
I would imagine. Roughly as bad as shoving pen caps up your nose.
I would like to know where to procure inexpensive titanium rings?
I have just finished reading that old thread you linked to. I laughed so hard that I farted and scared one of the cats out in the kitchen - they were all lying in the sunbeam. The sharp “MEEP!” and scrabbling of claws warned me of his terrified approach long before the food bowl was knocked over and little round kibbles scattered everywhere. I now have to get the broom out and sweep my kitchen floor again - but at the moment the other two cats are playing a good game of hockey with the kibbles so I’ll have to let them finish.
Stretching never produces a good result.
I thought those were those metal rods… the ones used by soft gentle caring hands… to induce cervical dilation and labor.
“…So, you told your mother everyone at the nurses station is a Bitch, huh?”
JAAAAMMM!
“Nope, you’re not there yet. Good thing I brought 40 more…”
Those are *cervical *dilators, and they’re not used in childbirth - they’re used when you have to get a scope up there. They don’t go anywhere near big enough to dilate for childbirth. Thank the gods.