William Shakespeare's Star Wars

Cafe Society
1

So who’s read this? This was complete excellence: The script of the 1977 Star Wars move, completely rewritten in Shakespearean iambic pentameter! (3076 lines worth.)

My favorite bit: The scene in the original movie, wherein Luke bursts into Leia’s cell on the Death Star. Leia’s line: "Aren’t you kind of short for a stormtrooper?

This becomes:

LEIA:

Thou truly art in jest.
Art thou not small

Of Stature, if thou art
a stormtrooper?

Does Empire shrink
for want of taller troops?

The Empire’s evil
ways, I’ll grant, are grand

But must its soldiers
want for fear of height?

LUKE: [aside]

So hath my introduction fallen short

She sees the uniform,
but not the man

[Removing helmet, to Leia]

Luke Skywalker am I! I have thy droids,

My noble errand is to rescue thee,

And I with Ben Kenobi have come here!

2

My favorite parts are R2-D2’s beeps and whistles, followed by asides to the audience in perfectly good English.

3

And all of Chewbacca’s lines:

“Auugh!”

:smiley:

4

I want to share this book with the local troupe, the “Short Shakespeareans”. It’s a kid’s theater group that performs Shakespeare’s plays. I took my mom and stepfather (a former Shakespearean actor) to see their performance of “The Tempest” last year, and it was very enjoyable. I think they would have fun with this.

5

Umm… link, please?

6

It’s a published book.

Amazon link

7

I’ll see you that and raise you an actual stage production (with a filmed version coming in November) of Terminator 2, with all the dialogue cribbed from the works of Shakespeare.

“Let this pernicious day stand aye accused in the calendar. Our ingenious instrument, that we but teach bloody instructions which, being taught, return to plague the inventor, razeth our cities and subverts our towns, and in a moment makes them desolate. They call it… Skynet.”

8

Forsooth! This tome I must obtain!

9

Exeunt, pursued by a bear.