Windows Updates

The BBQ Pit
#1

I run virtual machines on my Mac (I’m a developer and I have to see how things behave in other environments). One of them was Windows 7 and when the Windows 10 Free Upgrade started making its appearance I “got in line”; then when I got the notification that it was “my turn” I logged out and duplicated the virtual machine so I’d still have Windows 7 and also have Windows 10.

But once the “Upgrade to Windows 7” icon was occupying the living room of my Windows Update screen, I could not seem to get the update process to fetch me any subsequent Windows 7 updates. After 2 months (remember, this is a virtual machine; I would have gotten to it sooner if it had been my regular everyday environment) of this, I called Microsoft tech support and after a mere 2.5 hours worth of remote desktop connection in which their techs futzed around and Did Stuff (including the installation of a clever little piece of freeware called the GWX Control Panel which explicitly peels out any and all Windows 10 artifacts) I was able to start invoking Windows 7 updates again.

You have 18 important updates and 4 optional updates.
Install
Downloading 18 updates (0 KB total, 0% complete)

Wait a few hours

Some updates were not installed. Failed: Three updates. Reboot required: now or later?
Reboot

Windows is configuring things. Do not turn off your computer or you’ll regret it and stuff

You have 24 important updates and 6 optional updates
Install

Downloading 24 updates (0 KB total, 0% complete)

Wait a few hours

Some updates were not installed. Failed: Four updates. Reboot required: now or later?
Reboot

You have 24 important updates and 4 optional updates
Install

Downloading 24 updates (0 KB total, 0% complete)

Wait a few hours

Some updates were not installed. Failed: Five updates. Try again
Reboot

ETC

**
Rants
**
…**Why the fuck can’t they release all this mess as one single download?

…And why doesn’t the progress bar ever ever show any goddam progress? How do I know it’s actually fetching any bytes from the mother ship??**

#2

No, Microsoft, I don’t want to upgrade to Windows 10. No. Really, I’m serious, no thanks. No. Fucking. Thank. You.
Any easy fix to turning off the constant pop-up nag? I’d shit if in a bleary moment I accepted and started the process.

#3

There is an easy fix, used it myself just a few days ago. I have Win7. Can’t remember where I found it but google should lead you to it.
It involves going to your update history and “hiding” selected updates.
One of them sneakily downloaded the Win10 upgrade software for your convenience; several others contain triggers to nag you to upgrade.
In my case, I had disabled Windows updates entirely back in July, so the surrepetitious W10 download had never been effected.
Last week, having learned the file name/numbers identifying the updates to eschew, I activated Windows Update, setting it to notify only, allowing me to pick and choose which ones to download and install.
Not EZPZ, but straightfoward enough, and well worth the effort.

#4

I use a free download called GWX Control Panel to keep Windows 10 notifications at bay.

#5

I have this evil part of me that loves seeing people struggling with Windows 10. That’s only because my update went flawlessly (other than the time it took) and I’ve had no problems at all with Win 10. Of course, I sat there with my fingers crossed the entire time it was updating waving a rubber chicken over my head.

My advice, don’t forgot the crossed fingers and the rubber chicken.

In other news, Microsoft has changed the blue screen of death to a lovely light blue now. Sort of a Richard Petty blue. Much prettier I think.

#6

The ‘struggle’ we’re avoiding is locking down all the privacy and spyware-related issues with Windows 10. Its’ a hassle with Win 7, but from what I’ve gathered, it’s a lot easier to do than on Win 10. Some people do not care at all about privacy, so the effort may seem nonsensical.

#7

See original post :slight_smile:

#8

:smack: :smiley:

#9

My silly machine is wanting to update every day lately. Only one thing but I’m not savvy enough to know if it’s a problem or just windows being weird.

#10

Hot damn! “Windows is up to date”. Fucking FINALLY!

That’s really the core of my complaint: really lousy feedback about one’s progress towards being fully updated.

  • Why the FUCK doesn’t the progress bar move when it is allegedly downloading the updates? Why does it stay stuck on 0 KB downloaded and only change when the files have indeed been downloaded (or failed) ?

  • Why can’t it provide overall process information? “You have 79 total updates you need to install. The first series, that must be completed before you can install any others, consists of 21 important updates and 7 optional updates”. Nope! Instead, you only get told about the ones it is prepared to install and then you find out that more were waiting only after you install these.

  • I’ve never been all that fond of the Apple Mac approach to updates, but this process has made me fonder of it. On the Mac, if you liked (let’s say) MacOS 10.11.1 but had compatibility problems with some older applications when you updated to 10.11.2, you may be shit out of luck as far as being able to choose which updates to skip and which ones to apply. That’s because Apple tends to concatenate their updates. Especially if you buy a new ( or used) computer (or you’re updating your cousin’s from 10.9 or whatever): you check for updates and it says “Combined Update” and it has all that individual granular stuff all rolled into one package. Hmmm… after nearly a week of trying to get caught up after Windows 7 was stuck in the mud thanks to the Windows 10 update prompt, I found myself seriously wishing Microsoft would just issue a fucking Combined Update and let me download it and install it in one fell swoop.

  • Why do attempted update downloads FAIL so goddam often? You’d think I was trying to download hacked copies of Photoshop from an ftp server in Bosnia via a secret proxy server tunnel or something. I’ve got a decent connection on my end; why can’t Microsoft handle their own OS upgrade traffic better than they do?

#11

This comic seems appropriate for this thread.

:smiley:

#12

Windows ends support for Windows 8.

#13

I;m content with my Windows 8 on my Chrome Operating system