Running can become a habit.
This is one of those instances (and there are many) where I wish the code of the old west was still in force.
Everyone carries a six-shooter. If someone pisses you off, you can challenge them to a duel. If you win, problem solved! If you lose, problem solved!
Exactly, no one should have to abandon their dwelling regardless of how bad the situation is but sometimes it can appear to be the best choice.
I’ve actually thought about this in a similar manner, people used to be able to physically sort out these kind of problems which would yield immediate results. My example of the kid I hit that was throwing objects at me instantly diffused the situation for good, that’s not something the “legal route,” can offer in today’s age in most circumstances. In fact it can be near impossible to really get someone without them making a huge mistake.
That’s why I’m suggesting the OP talk to the lawyer. There’s clearly reason to believe that these neighbors are the ones who are the problem, but of course as a nonlawyer I don’t know what constitutes sufficient grounds for a restraining order. That’s why if I were in the OP’s shoes, I’d ask a lawyer.
Sorry if I indicated that we moved solely to escape bad neighbors. Instead, when presented with an option/opportunity to move, well, being able to get away from them was one factor making it easier to move. And, that is the only thing that managed to resolve the situation.
Gotta observe, tho, that there is no guarantee that wherever you move to will be free of jerks.
Good luck.
Its a game to them; Its also a game to you. You don’t want to lose, because you will lose face or lose you pride.
They are thinking the same way. It will only escalate and never go away. They are too stupid to see this as the final result (I wonder…are you?). The end result is Constant harassment and escalation until someone moves away or real violence takes them out.
Or you could just talk to them and, more intelligently, not play their game and be cordial to them, including telling them they win the game. Once they win, they have no reason to play
Bolding mine.
That would be true if the people where/are fairly responsible citizens. OTOH, if they’re just bullies or lowlife crooks, the game remains eternally fun for them no matter what result they get. And they can always escalate past the point where the OP can stand to turn the other cheek and put on the smiley face.
Jerks can be found everywhere from fat cat suburbia to wilderness ruralia and everywhere in between. But IMO the really hard to handle cases are the folks who ought to be living in true wilderness 10s of *miles *from another human but instead set up shop in an area of 20ish-*acre *semi-rural plots. They think they’re free to behave ferally but they’re still living practically on top of the neighbors and their every act impinges directly on somebody nearby.
The OP hasn’t given us any detail about where he lives, but I interpret the few hints as him being in that problematic semi-ruralia.
I’d seek a solution other than intimidation.
Hopefully, you know I was kidding. The truth is, even though I DO wish the old-west code was in force, today’s laws don’t permit you to take things into your own hands. Solving something like spitballs in school may still be possible, (Depending on the kid and his/her parents, and what story that kid tells if their is some physical indication that something happened at school), but I suspect even those cases are few and far between.
With that said, I am in agreement with you that you should not feel compelled to move. One of the big problems with society today is that bullies DO often win, because the reality of dealing with a situation like this requires a LOT of time and energy on your part to follow through with EVERYTHING, making records of EVERYTHING, and often YOU are ultimately viewed as the problem neighbor because you won’t let “things slide” or “turn the other cheek” or “be the bigger person”.
Screw that. You have as much right to live there as they do. If you own your home, then you have made a real investment in that neighborhood, and you shouldn’t feel like you have to move if you are being violated. And by the way, move to WHERE? There is unfortunately no guarantee that the next place you move does not have WORSE neighbors than you currently have. Believe me, bad neighbors are everywhere. And imagine your frustration if you are in your new happy home for a few weeks, and the new jackass next door does something that he sees nothing wrong with, but impacts your quality of life immensely.
Based on what I have read, I think you are within your rights to call the police and establish a timeline. If you don’t have proof, I still don’t think calling the police (or even driving to your local station to sit down in front of an officer) to explain what is going on and asking them what they would require from you to take this to the next level is out of line in any way. You have a right to know your options.
If they are trespassing (and that definition is local), you don’t have to permit this person on your property. The littering you are describing is unacceptable, but if you don’t have proof (just suspicion) that won’t be enough, even if you are correct.
Depending on where you live, and the officer you speak with, you may get some insight into what kind of mountain you are facing. Even if you have proof, for example, is it at a level where a judge/jury would be able to identify the person without “reasonable doubt.” Will a judge issue an arrest warrant or subpoena? Depending on the level of crime, they may not try to dissuade you exactly, but they will paint you a pretty good picture of what you may be facing.
Personally, I think this conversation is at least worth having. I don’t like the idea of YOU having to move, but if that is the best way to maintain your sanity, don’t let your pride rule it out if you have the means to move.
Good luck with whatever you decide. Just don’t let this person/people anger you to the point where you do something stupid (or worse, illegal) and give them the power to go after you.
Have you considered breeding beagles in the back yard?
How evil.
I like this idea.
Can you stand it?
Got ear plugs ??
It is possible to win. In my old neighborhood there was the woman and her crazy kids that kept causing problems and over time the police and code enforcers got involved. She was cited and eventually sold out and moved.
Another neighbor, it was her boyfriend and her son being the jerks. Again we got code enforcement involved and they cited them for things like having vehicles up on blocks in the street, racing up and down the street, and dumping oil and anti-freeze in the street. After a couple of tickets and warnings they cleaned up their act and the son moved away.
But those were obvious and blatant violations. Harder to stop the little things. I have a neighbor up the street who has 6 old trashed out cars in his driveweay and on the street. However he keeps them licensed and the tires aired up so nothing can be done. The guy across the street tried everything he could and when he went to sell his house, he couldnt. People kept citing “junk yard across the street”.
Buy their kid a drum set.
Gotcha, I’m glad that you were able to get that negativity out of your life, jerks do indeed seem to proliferate in many places unfortunately.
While I feel that they likely see it as a game due to the immature acts committed thus far I really just want it to end before I convince myself to do something stupid. When I say win I pretty much mean they get caught in the act and are appropriately punished for it, hopefully through legal means. Talking to them in a cordial manner does not seem like a viable option at this point, the family has shown that they are unreasonable without a doubt and I’d be wasting my time. Talking to them in an aggressive manner would possibly yield results but wouldn’t be the most mature path. People tend to stop bothering someone when that person is willing to fight back in one way or another.
I saw many of those types of personalities growing up where they seemed to lacked the moral compass that makes people think before stooping to these acts. Are you saying even if I turn a cheek and put on the smiley face they may escalate to a point where I’d be forced to take a different form of action? Your saying on jerks is very accurate, some people really shouldn’t be in an urban setting in such proximity to otherwise normal residents. I myself am in a urban neighborhood which is mostly occupied by very nice people.
You speak wisely.
Agree with all of your points, one has a significant financial and emotional investment in a home in most cases. I did realize you were joking though in many areas of life there really is a wild west code, in school conflicts you’re generally going to have to deal with the problem with words or fists, sure you could get caught by the school staff but in most cases it’s dealt with by the occupants of the establishment.
I have gotten into contact with my local police regarding the issue and they recommended to continue and document everything until I’ve acquired irrefutable proof of the person behind these acts. Because of this I believe the acts have devolved to things such as the football throwing compared to continuing acts of serious vandalism such as the thrown glass.
Thanks for the advice and I’ll make sure I don’t lose self control but I will do what I can to follow through and end this.
Yes.
It’s heart warming anytime I hear of indecency being dealt with successfully. Code enforcement is a great resource to use and I’ve utilized it in the past. Guy had his dog chained to a post in his back yard and it barked at everything that resembled life, code enforcement sent them a letter after investigating and he brought it inside, I’m sure it’s quality of life increased just from gaining shelter. Sad that your neighbor couldn’t sell his property due to a pack rat.
Blatant acts are much easier to deal with since often times code enforcement will need to visually witness it. If they happen sporadically or at odd times and code enforcement makes a site visit only to see nothing then you’re going to have to do some leg work to prove it to them, usually through video and paper documentation.
nm.
But that usually takes 30 to 90 days.