I personally want to find a way to put people on a list of the most annoying telemarketers out there so they get gobs of calls and stuff.
I think it would/should be called, An Axe To Grind.com
Here it is. I had a guy last Saturday who acted much like this. This sketch was all I could think of during the call. Except that the character in the sketch was more reasonable.
Lotus Notes, you are not a beautiful and unique flower. There is no reason for you to make F5 lock my screen when it’s refresh on every other application and OS on the fucking planet.
Wait. What? People still use f’ing Lotus Notes???
Haha, we use Lotus Notes too. I started at this company just over a year ago, but the company I worked at previously (for 8+ years) also used Lotus Notes.
Why are my dumbass neighbors out at 11:30at night revving their fucking ATV with their little kid? What the fuck is this shit?
Have you assclowns and fuckbuckets never seen snow before or are you just retarded? And why isn’t your kid in bed? Is there some holiday for bucketheads and their children i’m not aware of either today or Friday??
I have two sisters (and two brothers-in-law) in town here where I live; our mom is flying in to housesit for all of them over Christmas. Note that she ISN’T housesitting for me - I have nothing to do with any of these arrangements, but somehow I’m getting volunteered to pick her up from the airport (at least one brother-in-law is unemployed and can, I’m sure, re-arrange his busy day of doing nothing to pick her up [the other is self-employed and could probably do it too]). She’s my mom and I want to see her and probably will go pick her up, but it’s prickling my shorts a little, how this is turning into my responsibility when it’s all of THEIR plans. “I thought it would be the best possible solution if you picked her up and brought her over to my house.” No, actually, the best possible solution is for you to look after your own arrangements; if you couldn’t pick her up that day, maybe that wasn’t the best day for her to fly in. And I’m never sure if I’m just being a dick when they ask stuff of me and I don’t want to do it - who balks at going to pick their mom up at the airport when she’s flying in for Christmas?
Families; can’t live with them, can’t run over them with a road grader.
Fucking Throat, Fucking Call Center with 300 people (spreading their germs) in one large room and no paid sick time.
My throat has been getting progressively worse all week. Yesterday afternoon was hell. I kept having to hit my mute button to cough up a lung or two.
So I called in sick today (no pay) to rest it so that (hopefully) it will not get worse.
Chimera, is there *anything *your place of employment does right? From your descriptions, I’m thinking they deserve some kind of anti-medal for being the ultimate Goofus of workplaces.
Dear Dog Owner:
Really, I am thankful that you pick up after your dog: I hate cleaning up piles of dog poo before I can mow the verge, and I don’t want to pave the damned thing. Could you just maybe possibly put that stinky baggie of poo into the Trash can, not the (clearly marked) Recycling bin? There’s plenty of room. Thanks!
(…SO GLAD I have kitties…at least all the picking up is in one place!)
Ah, classmates.
Some of you I like, some of you I don’t know, some of you are fucking incompetent idiots. This is a veterinary technology program. We have been studying this stuff for over two years now, and I can’t believe the base level stupidity of some of you. Our very first class was anatomy and physiology. Obviously you passed, since you are still here. But you’ve magically forgotten where the tibia is located since then. Seriously??? And you can’t remember basic directional descriptors such as “proximal” and “distal” either??? I feel really bad for your potential future employers. That’s some basic shit right there.
Also, yes, I understand that dosage calculations SUCK. They’re annoying and repetitive. In fact, this is the FOURTH class that has required us to perform these calculations. And you STILL don’t understand how to do them??? WTF is up with that? Seriously folks … 90% of the questions are exactly the same … plug the numbers into the formulas and bang 'em out on the calculator. I know … percent solutions are haaaaaaaaaaaard and drip rates are haaaaaaaaaaard but you have to know this shit to pass the fucking VTNE. Get your head out of your ass and learn it already!!
I am SO tired of hearing people complain about this crap.
I like the little baggies of dog poo that are left all over the off-leash area near me. I understand that some of them are biodegrable (pretty sure the Safeway bags aren’t, though), but even so, there’s a trash can RIGHT THERE - just toss them in, would you? Little baggies of dog poo aren’t much better than little piles of dog poo.
It’s gonna be that kind of day, eh?
I’m doing a little cleaning around the house today, so I have my spray water bottle out and also my spray Windex bottle. I picked up the Windex bottle and proceeded to spray Windex on my head to flatten down my cowlick. :smack:
Also, I’ve been sick with this cold since Monday, and I have to go partying tonight (Jim’s staff Christmas party) - why do I still feel like warmed-over shit? Colds don’t last like this for me. I’ve noticed that my one tonsil is huge - I wonder if that’s what’s making it linger. Off to have a nice salt gargle.
Right?! This isn’t some tiny company, either. Big global dealy with tens of thousands of employees. My last employer used Notes, too, and again, that was a big company.
I think that might actually be the problem–the bigger you are, the more of a pain it is to migrate to new applications. So you just stick with the old ones as they get shittier and shittier.
The things I loathe about Notes could fill a book.
Sounds like the lab partners I had for Honors Chem II my freshman year of college. I had to hand-hold them through shit like M1V1=M2V2 and do the majority of the work on our writeups.
I think this is actually true - I’ve been present at a few large companies who were getting new software, and I suspect World War II was less of a production.
Not much by my admittedly high standards. Although my supervisor and I have turned our relationship around from our initial clash, and some of those people are doing fairly well for us within the constraints put on them from above. It’s just a stressful, relatively low paying job in a cheap-ass company that seems to have a very dim view of it’s own employees.
And on the other side, I know my bitching here makes it sound like I hate our customers and think they’re all fucking morons. That is not true. I take 20-30 calls a day and less than 10% of those people are greedy morons who blame others for their own issues and expect us to not only wave our magic wands and fix shit, but give them free stuff and money to boot. But it’s like when I was the supervisor at the truck gate - I’d say “1 in 10 is a problem, 1 in 10 of those is a serious problem - and you’ll be dealing with 400 people a week”. When you take 100 calls or more in a week and 10% of those people are dickheads, it is THOSE calls that flavors the day, especially when it often happens that you get most of those people in the same day. Five really bad calls on one day (such as my Friday two weeks ago) can really ruin your mood. Unfortunately, trained management response is to tell you to blow it off, not let it bother you, blah, blah, blah. Not everyone can do that every day, and NO ONE can do it every day.
Hell, I have MUCH MUCH worse stories than I ever tell here, but I can’t tell them here because the basics of the story would reveal where I work.
That, and this is The Pit, so you don’t see me posting about the success stories, or when I’ve had a great day.
But that place is a box of shit that you keep in your home…
Sounds like your group is overdue for some team building exercises to improve moral.
I’ll email your boss and your boss’s boss with some suggestions.
What’s the matter with having people know who you work for, Chimera?
I was in an RMA call center for D-Link Systems before I started handling RMA issues for Westinghouse Digital, which I left to become an electronics technician for the USPS. If I never volunteered that specific information on the Dope, it was more a matter of not wanting to appear to be plugging the brand. Had anyone asked, I’d have had no problem divulging the information. Speaking the name of the president of D-Link to a customer was verboten, but the name of the company wasn’t a problem.
It occurs to me that nobody has actually asked you what company you work for. So, what company do you work for, Chimera?
On behalf of my cats and dog, can you kill these people (quietly) before they graduate?