For the life of me, I never ever even considered trying to wipe standing up. Male, fold the tp, wipe from behind.
I spent 3 years travelling through the Chinese countryside where the toilets, were all very public. Oh ya, you squat to do you’re business. Anyway, I never saw anyone stand up to wipe. If all the Chinese wipe squatting/sitting down, does that make the majority of the world does it this way?
Male, sitting, from behind, dribbles some, buncher.
]b]ATTN**: Moderators. Please start a new message board ‘Cecil’s Classic Threads’.
Please move this thread there first. I don’t think I have had more laughs.
should be ATTN:
Okay, TMI time (but isn’t this whole thread just?)
I do both depending on the circumstances, both reaching from the back. Mostly siting (and I always sit a bit forward, as a sanitary thing, so disposing of the TP isn’t a problem. However I tend to stand in two situations:
Really shoddy facilities. I’m not necessarily talking unclean, just shallow - I don’t want to dip the TP, or worse, my hand, in anything I just got rid of.
Here’s the TMI. I come from a line of sturdy Scandanavian folk, and as a consequence I have thick hair almost everywhere. Yes, this means around my anus, and yes I said thick. Experience has taught me to always do a quick check of the hair down there (with a thick handful of toilet paper - btw I’m a wadder) for extraneous matter. When I do have to clean up the hair, I tend to do it standing, because it’s much, much easier to get leverage that way (you’d be very surprised at how stubborn the occasional clump can be).
Gross, I know, but there you have it.
I’m a Sitting, Behind, Front-to-Back Folder. Those standing heathens who dare threaten our sacred way of life shall forever be plagued with a thousand skid marks, and their children will have a thousand thousands skid marks, and their children’s children will simply wipe their bottoms with their undergarments!
Blasphemers.
Just out of curiosity, Chronos, what compelled you to revive this four-months-old thread? If you didn’t notice it when it first rode the boards, I shudder to think what search you were doing that brought it to your attention.
Sitter. From the front to the back. Loose sloppy fold, slight crumple. Large ass, but still able to ditch the Tp before standing.
And now you know…
Male. Sitting. Folded. Through the legs, back to front. If it’s one with an overcooked-oatmeal consistency to it (i.e. hanging on to that fine Scandinavian hole-thatch weave for dear life) I grab a fresh supply of TP and gently wipe until it’s gone.
Never had a problem with smearage, but on occasion have inadvertently moistened my knuckles, miscalculated finger placement, or suffered from Low-Grade Tissue Disintegration Syndrome. In those cases, I simply grab a fresh TP supply, wipe thoroughly, then wash vigorously with soap and warm water immediately I exit the stall.
It’s that freakin’ simple. Dunno why there has to be such a big deal about it. But I just can’t, for the life of me, picture how the hell it’s done standing up. Such people are freaks and listen to John Tesh albums at work.
I can’t describe just how pleased I am to see my thread back from the dead. Thanks Chronos!
On the fold vs. wad issue, I can’t fold my clothes properly when I do the laundry, I can’t fold my napkin properly when I finish eating. Why am I going to waste my time trying to fold something neatly if all I’m going to do is stick it in my ass?
Wad.
–sublight.
What a coincidence, I just posted about this exact topic in the TMI thread in MPSIMS. Me, I’m a stander. I can’t imagine anyone wiping sitting down. I would be too afraid to put my hand near that cesspool. Here’s my technique:
(Now you see why I was posting in the TMI thread.
I wasn’t going to post to this thread, but since the sitters are outnumbering the standers, I will admit that I’ve always been a stander, and can’t even begin to imagine doing it while sitting (though I guess I’ll give it a try some time soon…).
And I personally prefer to rest one foot on a nearby sink or wall, to achieve maximum spreadage. Have I reached my TMI quota yet?
I’m here to admit that I was once a stander. Excuse my ignorance, I knew of no other way. However, this thread has enlightened me, and I am proud to report that I tried sitting and found it vastly superior! I am now a sitter; thanks SDMB!
male, sitting down, folder, reach around to the back.
It occurred to me that a primary reason for wiping from behind instead of 'tween the legs is to avoid any possibility of…smearage…while inspecting the toilet paper to see if its clean or not. Doing from behind, you can just peer down between your legs while the paper is still down in the bowl, then drop it right in. If wiping through the legs, then you are forced to bring the paper up out of the bowl to inspect it. I used to be a between-the-legger, but during a horrible session where my experience was, shall we say…far more liquid than solid…I brought up the paper for inspection, the paper snagged the edge of the bowl, the paper shifted position…and cleanup required a long showering afterward.
I was so traumatized, I learned how to wipe from behind and have never looked back…
Well, considering all the questions that have been asked, prepare for excruciating detail:
So, sit down and do your business. Leaning forward, BTW. It provides extra, I don’t know - is “leverage” the right word? Plus you avoid getting your shirt on the toilet lid. Once done, create a wad on my right hand, lean to the left, raising the right cheek, reach from behind, and wipe. From front to back. This way you can use your four fingers to do the actual wiping, while your thumb is in a good position to fold over the, well, used, area after inspection. Thus the same wad can be reused. Sometimes two or three times. It takes a fair amount of mental agility to keep track of which parts of the wad are still useable. Two or three, or sometimes more, wads are used, ever since I had my gallbladder removed. Again, this requires concentration - you have to keep track of when the total amount of fecal material + the total amount of paper > the total flushing capability of the facility you’re currently using. Occasionally, after a particular juicy experience, a mid-wipe flush is required. Especially with these new low-flow toilets.
As for history, I used to be a stander, until I tried it in a public stall in elementary school. I got some strange looks. Since then, I’ve been a dedicated sitter. Well out of sight.
Oh, and I forgot to mention: what the holy crap are you people talking about about the last few drops? Haven’t you ever heard of shaking the dew off the lily? Seriously - all I do is give it a few flips, and it’s dry as a bone. 
You guys all must have weak penile sphincter muscles or something.
Band name!
female, sitter, wipe the front part from the front first, then the back by reaching around.
I have been following this thread since its inception, and all of the questions expanding on the OP have been good, but here is one to think on.
What would happen if you were unable to use your Primary Wiping Hand? :eek:
Many people have experienced this, and found (to their horror) that wiping with the other hand is often traumatically messy and can lead to hyper-extension of the hand and other painful things.
What to do, what to do. Oh! you could get an Ass-ist (scroll down a bit, it’s worth it)
Male, standing.
It just seems to me that I am able to get a wipe a lot more by standing. I tried wiping while sitting and it just ticked me off.
I’m a guy and I’ve never had streaks. Don’t quite understand how it’s possible.
It just occurred to me that, if one were so inclined, they could design a “ass-wiper geek code.” Sitter vs. Stander, Crumpler vs. Folder, Left Hand vs. Right Hand, Looker vs. Non-Looker, etc.
That is, if one were so inclined… :rolleyes: