With thanks to Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your grammar when all about you
R losing theres and blaming it on U
If you can trust the PHP when the submit button doubts you
But make allowance for double posts too
If you can fight and not be tired by baiting
Or being trolled, don’t feed the troll
Or being argued with, don’t give way to berating,
And yet don’t dominate, nor assume control:

If you can amuse – and not make wit your master,
If you can flame – and not make flames your aim;
If you can meet with Threadspotting and derisive laughter,
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to see the argument you’ve posted
Misrepresented and countered with straw men,
Or watch the anecdote you spent an hour writing, roasted,
And rally and explain yourself again:

If you can take your knowledge beyond the boards
And risk the wrath of ignorance unchecked
And refuted, start again with cites and records
And know your present tense from your future perfect;
If you can trust your mind and heart and will
To be coherent when you are tired or working,
And so post on when the boss departs
Except the shy who may remain lurking:

If you can talk with the TMs and keep your virtue
Or discuss with mods – nor lose the MP touch
If neither cliques nor cabals can hurt you;
If members understand you, but not too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving text box
With a beginning, a middle and an end,
Yours are the Boards and everything that’s in them,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Doper, my friend.



[sub]I like it.[/sub]

Brava!! Brilliant!!

Very good, Fran. I love it.


This, my dear Puddin’ is one of the reasons I love you so.
-Rue. (yer pal)

::: Standing appreciative and awed :::

You did good!

[sorta quote]
Now this is the Law of the Board – as old and as true as the sky;
And the poster that shall keep it may prosper, but the poster that shall break it must leave.
As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back –
For the strength of the Board is the poster, and the strength of the poster is the Board.[/sorta quote]

Very well done Francesca.

Thank you :slight_smile:

Cecil Fever

I must down to the boards again, to the message boards and the guys,
And all I ask is a smart-ass post and a cruel wit that is sly,
And the trolls kick’d and the Mods’ good grace and Cecil’s jokes a making,
And a merry tale of TV shows and what’s better: clutch or braking.

I must go down to the boards again, where General Questions lie,
And in Great Debates, the tempers flare and opinions truly fly;
And the words get hot and the insults grow over thoughts of wrong and right;
And the loudmouth schmucks get shot to bits when they cannot give a cite.

I must down to Café town where the Spider-Man thoughts are thick;
And the typos fly and talk is cheap and wise guys act real slick;
They pine for Wilma Flintstone and Betty, Barney’s wife;
And some of us sigh and rolls our eyes and say: “Hey, get a life!”

The Humble Opinions aren’t so humble as the posters fight for space;
And the polls ask dumbass questions, like “what’s your favourite race?”;
But it’s in the Pit where my blood runs hot and I dare to try my luck;
Because it’s good to laugh at the mixed-up dopes and their obligatory “fucks”.

I must down to the boards again, to the vagrant poster’s life,
And all I ask is a smart-ass joke dissing some guy’s wife.

  • Bryan Ekers, with apologies to John Masefield.

Love it Bryan. Brilliant.

Absolutely brilliant Francesca - I bow to you across the south coast!

Bravo Brava Bravi!

Francesca, donkeyoatey, Bryan Ekers, I am so jealous!


[Farmer Hoggett’s voice] That’ll do, folks. That’ll do.[/Farmer Hoggett’s voice]