I read about this on Broadsheet.
Kind of weird and vaguely creepy–but it made me wonder (not sure if this should in GQ), if you thought you were miscarrying would you just carry on, or wouldn’t you want to go to a hospital, just in case? How did she even know she was micscarrying–did she step out to go to the bathroom to check? Or if it wasn’t like it was that much blood, wouldn’t you just assume it was a late period, and not a miscarriage?
I have the same question as you do…
[QUOTE=above linked Salon article]
“It is absolutely outrageous how difficult it was going to be for me to get an abortion, and it’s outrageous that no one is outraged.” Wisconsin has a 24-hour waiting period for abortions and only three clinics that are covered by insurance, which “puts a huge burden on an overworked system,” she explains. “In Wisconsin, there is a week and a half wait to get the first meeting and a week and half wait to get the abortion.”
[/QUOTE]
Ok, so if she knew she was pregnant and wanted an abortion, presumably she would have already had made her appointment? If she caught it early enough, 3 weeks should not necessarily be too long of a wait (and I would like to see some cite that it’s a 3-week wait for an abortion in WI - in my experience, it’s always been within 24 hours). Or maybe, if it was that important to her not to have to wait, she could have gotten an abortion at a clinic that didn’t accept her insurance and she could have paid cash (looking at her blog, I seriously doubt this would be beyond her means); or she could have driven to another state.
And yeah, if she was actively in the process of miscarrying, what was she doing in a meeting?
The only thing I can think of is maybe she opted for a “medical abortion,” or the aka the “abortion pill,” which you take in two doses, 24-hours apart - the first that stops the development of the fetus (Mifepristone), and the second (Misoprostol or Cytotec) which causes uterine contractions which expels the fetus. Step 1 is painless, but during Step 2, you are going to be in a lot of pain, and expelling a lot of blood and matter for at least several hours, and a board meeting would NOT be an appropriate place for that. I know from personal experience. So maybe she was in step one of a medical abortion?
I am 110% pro-choice, but I still do find her Tweet a bit curious and distasteful.
Is it bad of me that my first thought was that it was really unprofessional of her to be posting to Twitter during a board meeting?
My feelings exactly. Certain things just don’t need to be shared with the world at large, and this just seems to be one of them.
I guess I’m just uncomfortable with using a miscarriage - regardless of where and when it occurs - as an opportunity to soapbox about problems with the local abortion system. There’s a time and place for everything… she seems to have a problem with this concept in more ways that one.
I think I’d be OK with a well-written essay on the topic, about isn’t it horrible that a miscarriage can be convenient for a woman who desperately wants an abortion and is hampered by lack of doctors/bureaucratic requirements, but a 140-character “omg world this is what I’m doing right now!” announcement is kind of obnoxious. Plus it makes me think about what else she might twitter on while in the midst of the act. Taking a huge crap? Twitter about it! Getting your freak on in bed with some hot guy? Twitter update now!
A friend of mine had a miscarriage more or less during an out of town job interview. She knew because of the contractions, and the bleeding, and since this was an inconveniently timed pregnancy (and she was only a few weeks along*), she was not horrified.
Besides, there’s not a heck of a lot that can be done about an early miscarriage. And changing her airplane tickets would have been a hassle, etc. So she just went on about her business, and told people later. Also, her health insurance situation was sticky–she was probably not covered at the time of conception, though she was at the time of the miscarriage, so her pregnancy might have been able to be ruled a pre-existing condition and thus not covered.
So the part about having a miscarriage mid-board meeting doesn’t appall me.
But, there are times and places for Twitter, and I’m voting that mid-board meeting isn’t one of them.
And yeah, while this friend was not exactly devastated by her miscarriage, I think she had some guilt about being so happy to no longer be pregnant. Abortion would not have been an option for her–especially after publicly announcing the pregnancy (she worked for a church which is not known for its support of abortion rights). And life was simpler with just one child, as she prepared for a move . . .
*How she found out she was pregnant–cleaning stuff out from under the sink, she found a soon to be expired pregnancy test. So, rather than waste it, she peed on it. Pregnant. Woops! That explains the emotions the previous week. So since she wasn’t even officially late for her period, she was only two weeks along. Because she was the type of woman to tell everyone her business, I knew two days later. (OK, the people she told was a smaller, more emotionally connected group than that description sounded like. But still, I don’t understand some people’s need to announce pregnancy to all and sundry that early on, unless you are suffering from incapacitating morning sickness.)
[Details in this post are accurate to the best of my memory, but it’s been seven or eight years, and I’ve never been pregnant, so I may have some of them wrong.]
I think it’s the whole heat-of-the-moment aspect that really squicks me out - would she have Tweeted during her abortion if she’d been able to have one? (Getting my abortion now. Thank goodness. Can you believe they made me wait three fucking weeks for this?) Some things just aren’t meant to be shared in real-time.
Clearly, she was going for the shock value on this one.
I’m with both of you on that. And the unprofessionalism of tweeting during a board meeting. I wouldn’t even consider doing that. On either account.
Isn’t she a blogger about how women balance work and life? If so, it doesn’t seem so blazingly unprofessional. After all, this story exactly illustrates the things she writes about.
You’re new to Twitter, I take it?
Not every miscarriage is a tragedy. There’s no reason why she should treat it like a tragedy if that’s not how she feels about it. If she’s happy about it, why not share that news? Why should she treat it like it’s a big deal just because other people view it that way?
And yeah, why not comment on the irony of how hard it can be to have the abortion compared to how easily the body handles its own business?
I don’t know, if someone tweeted about taking a really huge crap, I’d be grossed out. And no, I don’t care if it’s the size of Bono and I don’t want to see pictures!
God help us. Me, too. And the mess!
That’s kind of what happens in the movie
Citizen Ruth
Some critics called it a bit of a cop out. It certainly is a relief for some people to have fate do the dirty work.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t feel how you feel - I’m just saying, it’s not a question of “if”.
Huh?
I don’t do Twitter for reasons like TMI oversharing - heck, I don’t do Facebook because status updates would drive me to murder before long.
I understand her point - a miscarriage would be a relief to me, because frankly I am not in a position to be carrying a child (never mind the ‘completely contraindicated for pregnant women, danger Will Robinson’ meds I’m on). But Twittering about ‘omgz, whew, in board meeting and miscarriage starts’ is both tacky and unprofessional. Her idea of ‘balancing work and life’ doesn’t mesh with mine.
I read Penelope Trunk’s blog regularly. If you want some explanation for the twitter post, she made a blog post here that explains it.
A few answers to some common questions posed in this thread:
Miscarriages can take several weeks, so most women are going to be at work while they’re happening.
She is the CEO of a social networking and “new media” (ie, blogs and things like twitter) promotion company, so twittering during a board meeting is pretty much her MO.
She talks very openly and candidly about both her personal and professional life on her blog and twitter feed, and about the necessity of not hiding or being ashamed of how her womanhood impacts her work life.
I agree that the twitter post is a bit shocking, but I don’t think that it’s out of line for the style of personal updates that she regularly provides.
For those wondering about the logistics of “having a miscarriage” during a board meeting - despite the way we tend to talk about it, a miscarriage is less an event than a process. Especially if you’re very early in pregnancy, it’s mostly like having a heavy period. You can bleed for several days. Generally, there would be no need to go to the hospital - you just make sure you’re not bleeding enough to soak a pad an hour or more, and probably have a blood test after it’s all over to make sure all the products of conception have cleared out.
Having had a miscarriage, I could understand being struck by the weirdness of, “I’m having miscarriage right here and now, but I’m in a meeting, and no one knows what’s happening.” I can’t understand Tweeting about it though.
Thanks…I’ve never had one. I guess I’d just assume it was a period if I didn’t know I was pregnant (in which case I couldn’t tweet about miscarrying). Or if I knew I was pregnant and I was bleeding, I’d assume, “OMG, blood there when it’s not supposed to be…hospital!” Or at least a doctor’s call. (I have a couple in my family.) Blood can be scary.
To add a little more on the topic of aborting during a miscarriage: Sometimes a miscarriage can take just a day or so, sometimes weeks. Some women opt to have a D&C to speed up the process and make sure everything’s gone. If anything lingers after a miscarriage, it can’t lead to horrific infections, continuous bleeding, etc.