My best friend is one of those thin, long blonde-haired, blue-eyed beauties. She’s had plastic surgery to make certain… Enhancements. She is, in a word, gorgeous. I pretty much dismissed her on sight as a nitwit and vowed to hate her, in fact. Now, well… She’s my closest friend. She’s brilliant, sweet, caring… She simply happens to be burdened with exceptional beauty. I am constantly listening to people say the most horrific things about her because of the way she looks, and defending her has, more than once, gotten me into trouble, because the filter between my brain and my mouth is pretty faulty. No one makes the mistake of thinking me pretty instead of smart, but they do that to her constantly, and pay for it, because she is more than willing to use her wit and wisdom like a whip. I love that! But she is easily hurt, as well, and sometimes (rarely) I’m almost thankful that I’m not as pretty as she is.
I am a traditionally unattractive female. As in, I’m pretty fat, although multiple guys who are into or ok with fat chicks have told me that I have a very attractive shape, color, and face (take that as you will). I’m also still young, so that will likely change as I age. But as far as society at large is concerned, I’m ugly.
I don’t feel that my looks have anything to do with my career. There are lots of overweight people here who are less attractive than me, I’d rate myself in maybe the 35th percentile as far as overall company attractiveness (again thanks to my relative youth). Also I work in a call center, where looks are less important than a pleasant speaking voice.
People do this to me. I’m not even smiling! I usually have a serious face on. People approach me on the street and ask for directions - even if I’m not the one closest to them on the sidewalk. People approach me in public places and just start talking to me - not weirdos, just everyday people. In college my friends noticed it and commented on how bizarre and frequent it is. My only theory is that I look really approachable because of my appearance (upper middle class 20 something white girl uniform of bootcut jeans, a sweater and a black fleece jacket) and because of my skintone, which is most often mistaken for Italian. And it’s gotta be the confidence too - I’ve got it in spades. I look like I always know what I’m doing.
People coming up to me and trusting me in all sorts of settings really used to freak me out but I’ve slowly grown used to it.
ETA:
Mmm, that’s interesting. My engineering lady friends tell me they’re (still) few and far between. All of them are in entry level jobs (obviously, they’re around my age) so it’s not like advancement has happened yet for any of them. They’ve all mostly said that their male coworkers (single and of any age) try and ask them out/hit on them. Not in a creepy way, just in an “hey, I’m available and I like you” sort of way. Some of them are varying levels of cute, but are seen as interesting by the guys, for having a good job and being inclined to math/science.
So I suppose time will tell if they’re not taken seriously professionally, but personally they seem to be pretty happy 
This happens to me too, even though 99% of the time I’m listening to my ipod when I’m out. My friends think it’s odd as well. People also like to chat with me in lines for some reason.
The only instance I can think of, is when I was in high school I worked for a local clothing store along with a woman and her husband…I got along with the husband, he was a goofy guy who could pal around with kids, but his wife was incredibly rude to me, and I couldn’t understand why…another coworker explained that this woman viewed other women as competition for her husband. But I was 17 and they were in their mid to late thirties! And the funny thing is, the wife, in a moment of “niceness” I suppose, did tell me I was very pretty.
Interesting. Do you think it was because of your presentation that you were perceived as more serious, or because the other women were prettier?
Re: people’s willingness to approach to you. I think people would just rather talk to women. I know if I need to ask a stranger something, I head for the 20-something year old lady, or failing that, any woman up to maybe age 60. After that, and it’s rare that no woman under 60 is around, the middle aged guy. I don’t know why, but I just feel like a young woman will be nicer. That’s probably total bullshit, but here we are.
I agree with you generally. In my experience though, I’ve been sought out while towards the inside part of the sidewalk when the outside person is also a female in her 20’s. Happens at coffee shops all the time when I’m with female friends, too. Happens at the grocery store too (do you know if this is on sale? Is this (sweet potato chips, low sugar iced tea, seasoning, cheese) any good?)
But by and large you’re right - people trust the nice young 20 something girl rather than anyone else. Which is weird. I ask who looks like they know what they’re doing - which is what I assume people do for me in part - but for me that’s never the young 20 something, it’s usually the middle aged guy.
Yup! All of that happens to me, too. Lately though, it’s been really bad when I’m shopping for clothes.
“Oh, honey, what do you think of this shirt?” “Do you like this color?” “Is this cute or not?” “Am I too old to wear this?” Stuff like that. I suppose I ought to be flattered, because obviously these ladies think I look cute and trendy, but it’s always a little awkward.
The best was the other day-- I went to grab a shirt off of a rack that another lady was looking at. Grabbed my shirt, popped into the dressing room, and was trying stuff on. About 5 minutes later, I hear from the next room, “Are you the one who grabbed the purple shirt with the shoulder things?” Me: “… yes?” Her: “Are you going to get it?” Me: “I. . . um, don’t know. I’m not big on cowl necks. . .” Her: “Come out and let me see! I want to see!” Who. . . does that? (It was this shirt, btw, which I did buy and am wearing as we speak).
Bahahahaha Diosa I think we’re long lost twins. People demand I parade around the stores for them too. I used to think I attracted weirdos, then I started watching the people after we parted ways. They didn’t ask for help, weren’t outwardly friendly to others and didn’t strike up conversations with other people. Whatever, I go along with it. People treat me so much better than everyone else so I really can’t complain.
People come up to me to ask directions and find stuff in stores all the time. But I’m not pretty and usually exude lack-of-caringness. I think with me it’s because I have a bit of a baby face and don’t look like I could chase you any further than the next aisle. Or maybe it’s the curly hair. I may appear jolly.
People ask me for directions all the time, and I’m not great looking. I think I have that “Looks like she knows where she’s going” that happening, probably because I walk fast. I’ve been asked for directions while a tourist, and/or completely lost. Also, I wear glasses. People with glasses are smart and harmless, the theory seems to go. I’m neither, but they don’t know that.
I am occasionally asked for my opinion in clothing stores, especially from little old ladies. Ha! Apparently they think we have a similar fashion sense. 