Women Dopers - Do you get along with your mother?

In My Humble Opinion
41

My Mother and I get along just fine now. When I was younger there was much screaming and many tears but we came to realize this was because we were so much alike even though I don’t resemble her at all outwardly. In my entire life she has never treated me as if I had no mind of my own and now she knows that she’s the first person I turn to for advice. And she knows that I may ignore it. I have tremendous respect for her as a person and for what she accomplished as I am certain I never could have done as well. And I know that she is the only person on this planet who just accepts me as I come, no strings. However, being that we are so much alike I doubt we could ever live together without bloodshed. :slight_smile:

I have to say though that she is not my best friend. She’s better than that. She’s my Mom.

42

I don’t have a great relationship with my mom. I’m 25, and though I’ve tried to have a good relationship with her (like the one my sibs seem to have), it always ends up being a horrible version of the parent-child thing. Mind you, I don’t exactly get along with my father, either.

My mom will make comments, and then say: “Oh, but only your family will tell you these things.” Maybe so, but I always thought family was supposed to be more loving than that! (comments about my weight and other cutting remarks are fair game for that sort of rationale)

She’ll claim to want the best for me, and I’m sure she does, but sometimes I don’t know. I’m not sure that I want to speak to her, but maybe later on I can acheive that objective. Of course, I’d like to be able to hear her voice and speak to her without feeling a knot in my stomach, but that’s not how it’s going to be.

Hey, I’ve tried hanging up on her when I simply don’t want to hear any more of her snide comments and stuff, but all that gets me is a call-back: “Why did you hang up on me? You NEVER hang up on me, you hear? [click]” Right… and you can hang up on me because you’re my mom and can therefore do whatever you like? (and I can’t, because you’re my mother) Somehow, I don’t think so. :mad:

Let’s just say that I have a bad history with her, and it’s not likely to get any better. She’s the woman she is, and I can’t change it, I know. I mean, she has her good qualities, but I could always do without her bad ones, that’s for sure.

[sad and wistful] Gee, I wish things were better, but I’m not sure what I have to do in order to remedy the situation. [/sad and wistful]

F_X

43

Flamsterette_ X, are you a long lost hidden sister of mine? Because my mom infuriates me with that statement, “Only your family will tell you these things”. I guess that means I should hang out with strangers in order to be treated politely, huh? We had major battles when I was younger, but the both of us must have mellowed because we can actually get along for about an hour a week. On Saturday mornings, my mom, dad and I have breakfast at a Silver Diner. We are actually pleasant to each other.

44

Mom and I get along just fine…within limits. There are a good number of things my mother does NOT know about me…mostly because she wouldn’t really want to know. So, given that, we can have a lot of fun together, and can enjoy each other’s company. She’s also been known to occasionally spark homicidal rages. :^) She has always been there for me when I’ve needed her, though, and there are a good number of happy memories and shared fun things.

45

I have a great relationship with my mom and have for most of my adult life - I made a point of establishing an adult relationship while I was in college over 15 years ago.

46

I get along well with my mom. Why, look! She’s sitting here next to me (we are watching TV together).

She can be very irritating. I think that’s because she has an (IMO) undiagnosed case of attention deficit disorder. She is SO hyper at times!

When I was a teenager, she could be quite the energy-sucking depressing wet blanket. Nothing we did was ever good enough. On the other hand, she always impressed on my sisters and me that we were pretty and smart (this could be quite a stretch at times in my case, especially the “pretty” part). Mixed messages, to be sure, but at least I grew up knowing I was loved. Weird how she managed that. She and my dad got along well, so we grew up in a warped but loving home.

When I got older, something snapped in her and she started acting more “mom-like”—being (get this!) proud of my accomplishments! Fancy that! This is quite a turn-around—she was quite the opposite before.

Now she is getting older. She’s still the same hyper woman that she always was. Sometimes she’ll worry that she’s losing her mental “edge”. And I tell her, “Don’t worry, you’ve always been this feeble-minded!” (We insult each other all the time, in a good-natured way. She’s got a great sense of humor.)

47

My Mum and I have a great relationship. We are very close. I am only 18, finished high school last year, but I thought I’d answer anyway.

My Mum is my role model. I look up to her and I respect her as I do no other person. I think she was and is great as a Mother.

I can talk to her about almost everything in my life. She was there for me when no one else was.

We share the same views on a lot of things, which I suppose is to be expected considering she raised me as a single mother.

She started her own business (leaving a job with lots of prospects) so that she could stay at home to look after us, and I will be eternally grateful for that.

Love You Mum!

48

Put me down as another “My mother is my best friend.” It wasn’t always this way. When I was in high school, our relationship was extremely rocky. It wasn’t that I hated her, I just didn’t believe she understood me. (Because I was 15, and therefore far more complex than her wholesome whitebread world had prepared her to deal with. :rolleyes: :wink: ) Our relationship improved once I had moved out, and finally she treats me like an adult because I finally behave like one.

I talk to her every day, and she’s the only person I can be my completely catty self with. As long as we don’t discuss religion, we get along fabulously.