I don’t often go about alone in public, so no, I don’t get catcalled.
However, there are some days at work when I have to receive deliveries at the loading dock. I dread those days, because I am dealing with a lot of different men in a relatively secluded area. I field a lot of inappropriate comments.
A woman walked for 10 hours in NY and filmed it to show how many catcalls and such she got. Here’s a 2-minute clip of some of the major incidents:
Yeah, we had some long threads about this when it came out, with people who don’t live in NYC saying it’s common to greet people on the street where they are. Yeah? Well, it’s unheard of in NYC, and when I moved to Cincinnati for a while, it took me a while to get used to it.
So, trust me, people not from NYC – that video is creepy (even leaving out the guy who followed her), and it never happens to guys.
I’ve not had it happen lately, whether that’s because I’m getting older or because of where I’m living I’m not sure- I suspect a combo of the two. The worst I’ve experienced was when I briefly lived in a questionable area of Manchester, England, where I never once left the house without having some guy yell- or frequently incoherently mumble- some kind of crap at me. Not once. Not even when I was just popping out to get some milk.
People round here might say ‘Morning’ or ‘Lovely weather’ or something along those lines, but a) they say it to everyone, male, female, any age, and b) it’s something generic, not personal. It is acceptable to compliment someone’s dog, however.
Incidentally, I used to work with a very attractive guy as a bouncer, who actually did get catcalled and complimented a lot at work, normally by drunk women. He hated it. It wasn’t something he could complain to the other guys about, because it just didn’t happen to them; when they saw it happening or if he mentioned it, they’d either assume it was a boast or react with envy.
On a very rare occasion, I might say something to a woman I don’t know like, “Those are cool shoes” if they have some funky boots on. Or if they have a message T, I might say, “I like your shirt.” My perception is that that has never been received inappropriately, but I may be mistaken. Of course, I am in my late-50s, and when doing so, I consciously make sure nothing about my body language, eye contact, tone of voice is aggressive.
Same way I might tell someone - man or woman - “Nice car.”
But seriously, jtur, even if that is unwelcome, you’ve gotta be pretty fucking clueless if you can’t distinguish that from a catcall. Thanks for what I assume is an intentional hijack of my thread. I guess guys can be all different sorts of assholes.
Let’s be clear: Catcalling is not about complimenting women. It’s not even about trying to pick them up. It about asserting power and dominance as the male of the species, usually in front of other males.
Guys who do it are doing it for the benefit of their own egos and their status among their guy friends.
Maybe we can debate about whether politely saying “I like your scarf” differs from shouting “Hey, Baby, looking fine!” from across the street. But I don’t think that’s what this thread is about.
Meh, I keep my opinions to myself mostly and it’s been years since I lived in S Fla where vocal jerks were everywhere. Still I get an occasional very odd remark usually from a much older man. The guy who smacked his lips while saying milk milk milk and looking at my chest, and the old duffer who followed me around the store trying to sniff me idfk what their problem is. Dementia I guess. Weirdos get old too.
I’m careful too with tossing off random compliments to children, I’ll say hi or wave but I’ll keep any observations about how cute they look or about their clothes etc to myself. Or if the parent is right there I might say it to the parent.
Actually, until 2018 I lived virtually all my adult life in developing countries where foreigners were often the target of unwanted, though almost always well-meaning, attention. Google “Indonesia ‘hey mister’” if you don’t believe me, or talk to any woman about what it’s like to walk by herself on the streets of Cairo So I don’t need instruction from you on handling attention from strangers on a global basis.
Your claim that “we women” lack audacity seems like a deliberate poke to irritate, rather than anything a person arguing in good faith would use to construct a logical argument. You do realize you are saying that if someone is frightened, it must be their own fault and we should blame the victim? Fear is the appropriate, galvanizing, life-protecting response in certain situations.
As for me personally, though, it’s true I’m not particularly fearful. This has resulted in some close calls. When I was in college, against all common sense I walked a long, dark, isolated path across a bridge to go home one night at around 11pm. It later turned out that a good friend had done the same thing at 9pm the day before and was raped.
Years later, I was home alone in an isolated spot when someone tried to jump-start and steal my car (a story I’ve told in more detail here on the Dope before). Instead of doing something smart, I charged out of the house, weaponless, screaming “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY CAR.” Lucky for me, the would-be thief took off rather than standing his ground.
So as you can tell, it’s all that “fear” I am “steeped in” that informs my observation about the risks women face.
If you would allow a known misogynist to weigh in here, I’ve been over this subject on the Dope before. I wanted to make the point at the time that many, maybe most catcalls are intended as compliments and harmless. That is the case among most of the men I’ve ever known, but I haven’t known every man and don’t have anything like the experiences of women regarding this matter, and I had my eyes opened on this subject.
These aren’t cases of a woman being complimented with a whisle in a safe environment, it’s another thing that men have messed up by going overboard, acting like monkeys at the zoo, and creating an aura of danger. Women can’t feel safe in all sorts of circumstances, and men have escalated this kind of behavior far past a whistle, they hoot, shout, gesticulate, and even begin to follow women around, and doing it in gangs, and shamelessly in public not fearing retribution from any corner.
So what this once may have been in a time and place far removed, men have to do better. This isn’t about thoughts or concepts, it’s not something written down or shown on TV, it’s real physical action in the real world that is threatening to women. Whether or not it was ever harmless behavior doesn’t matter, it’s not harmless now. So I have this simple statement for my fellow men, cut this shit out.
Dropping the jtur88 show for a moment, and answering the OP’s question, I no longer recall how often I got catcalls/whistled at when I was young, but while I just shrugged it off I never liked it.
The most memorable time was when.I was walking down the street wearing a short skirt and a car slowed so the driver could call over to me, “you have GREAT legs.” I responded, “yeah, and I’m SMART too.” I have no idea what my “admirer” thought, but that did make me chuckle for the rest of the day.
Moderator Warning
This is an official warning for personal insults outside of the Pit.
I’ve lived in Orange County for years and I’ve never seen this. I’m a guy, but I’ve never seen this here or heard any account of it happening to any of the women I know who live here.
There are a few “rough” parts of OC like Santa Ana where this might be considered less unacceptable behavior, but I wouldn’t know because I generally avoid those places.
I guess it didn’t happen then, since a guy says he didn’t see it.
I’ve lived in NYC for years and never personally witnessed someone yelling a particular racist slur. Therefore, it has never happened.
I’m pretty sure I have never catcalled a woman. But there are whole countries, you might guess which ones, where catcalls are popular and even considered an art form. I have always been quite skeptical of this view that most women really appreciate this, for reasons already well articulated in this thread.
It’s generally a bad idea to comment on women’s appearance. A minority of women are very confident in how they look and they will think you unoriginal and insincere when you make a comment they hear often. Many women are insecure about their appearance since society promotes a view that is both impossible to achieve and which men don’t really want anyway. (Tom Papa had a hilarious routine at Just For Laughs in 2012 about “idealized” women.)
I will comment on appearance - male or female - if I genuinely really like an unusual item of clothing. This diesn’t happen often, is not meant to imply much else, is sincere and is generally taken neutrally or somewhat positively. However, occasionally it is taken very positively.
Men, this is maddening. Don’t do this. Just because you haven’t experienced something doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
I worked in Newport Beach for two years, and trust me, it happens. It happened in the airport, it happened on runs, and it happened at bars/restaurants, and it happened at the mall. I was never flattered, I was occasionally nervous, and it was never about giving me a compliment. As others have said, catcalls are about exerting power over women, not “harmlessly“ complimenting them.
Read for comprehension. I never said it doesn’t happen, just that I’ve never witnessed it here in person or heard about it secondhand.
As a teenager, it was a daily occurrence. Guys shouting at me from cars. Guys shouting at me from across the street. Always with friends. "Hey girl! “Hey shortie!” That kind of stuff, as if they were literally calling a cat over so they could pet them. (Which I can relate to, since that’s what I do to cats 
).
As a 40-something, this kind of thing never happens to me now. I don’t get catcalled. However, I do get paid compliments from a distance. Like, I’ll be walking down the street and a guy will stick his head out of his car and shout “Nice hat!” at me. It amuses me to think that the guys who start off saying “Hey girl!” eventually graduate to “Nice hat!” “Nice hat!” always makes me smile. But I hated “Hey girl!” so much.
Moderator Note
While being fairly clueless about the female half of the species, as well as being culturally stuck in about, eh, 1960 or so at best are both not against the rules, your propensity to post things like this is completely derailing this thread. Please do not post in this thread again.
Feel free to start your own thread, if you’d like. Personally I think you could benefit from discussions about why many here are finding your posts to be extremely offensive.
Everyone else, let’s get back to the original topic of the thread, please.
Thank you for the reading tip.
So your point was what, in the context of the OP, since I didn’t comprehend your post?
Jerry Seinfeld’s take on this behavior, which is basically honking at women is the only thing a guy with one brain cell can think to do:
