Bird and bint are OK if they come from another woman.
I wouldn’t be too offended if someone asked my man “Is that your bird?” Actually, when I was at college I had a boyfriend that I (and some of my friends) referred to as “my bird.”
Lady, Ma’am or even Miss can be used with contempt or with respect. It behoves us to tell the difference.
A while ago, I remember a friend of mine saying that “vagina” was more offensive to her than “cunt”. I can’t remember exactly, but it had something to do with “vagina” being related to “vessel” (or something similar) in latin - implying that a woman’s vagina was simply the recipient to a man’s penis. I’ve never heard anything more on the topic - does anyone here know if it’s true?
I’ve never had any problem with “girl”, but then again, I am still a girl. 
I agree that it’s a matter of context - all of the terms the OP mentioned can be used in a derogatory manner.
ALL WORDS ARE EQUAL.
(But some are more equal than others. ;))
I never ever use the C-word. I rarely use the B-word,and then never in reference to people. I don’t use any offensive words in reference to people.
Someone at work once called me the B-word, so I did an hour of Elton John’s “The Bitch is Back.” He finally complained to the Big Boss about my singing. Chutzpaz, right?
So now it’s become the C-word? Well, F-word you all but I like the C-word.
What’s a better word for refering to a woman’s genitalia? Vagina? Too OB/GYN. Pussy? I hate that word the way some people hate “cunt”. Bearded clam? No, maybe not.
Of course there’s no question refering to a whole woman by the name of her genitals is an insult. You’re reducing a whole entire woman to just one part of herself. Yeah, that’s pretty offensive.
But, even there, context is everything.
The thing is, there isn’t much that a person could call me that I would be too bothered by. (That’s not an invitation.) I think I would be shocked or surprised if someone called me a cunt, but mostly I think I would laugh. Bitch? Well, I certianly am a bitch at times. There are not many terms that I would be offended by merely by virtue of their implication that I am a woman. I think if I am offended by something it is because it is an insult, not because it is insulting my womanhood. Make sense? Also depends on who’s calling me a dame or whatever. If it is a stranger, I dont much care. If it were the boy, well, he might be in a lil trouble. (Is it bad that I call my SO the boy? Hummmmm. Maybe I should ask him.)
I hate the word “gal.” It’s just so . . . airhead-ish sounding.
I also LOATHE the term “bar maid.” It’s “bartender” for both sexes. “Bar maid” smacks of some cheesy, Revolutionary-era cable miniseries where all the taverns are staffed by buxom slatterns, wearing those greasy leather corset things, bosoms hanging out ready to catch the froth that drifts off the five or six mugs of beer the “bar maid” is holding every time she bounces from one person to the next. Ugh.
And I sort of like the whole “Woman! Get me a beer!” thing, because I know the only people who would say that to me are doing it in jest.
On being called “the girl” at work: :mad:
On the c- word: In the context of hot, nasty, sex with someone I’m sure generally respects me, I like it much better than the word “pussy”, which is just so unsexy to me. I can’t even really say “pussy” out loud without giggling.
Anyone calling me a cunt outside of that context might find him or herself very sorry indeed.
I hate the word “cunt.” It’s the most offensive word I can imagine. Argh! I hate even typing it. I went out on several dates with a very nice guy once. By the fourth date, we had progressed to the quiet-dark-road stage, and he worked THAT WORD into a session of dirty-talk. I told him I hated that word and he said it again in jest; next thing he knew he was on his ass in the dirt. Never saw him after that. It’s a pet peeve of mine.
I don’t mind “girl” because I’m almost 20; not even an adult yet. “Woman” doesn’t offend me; “pussy” is not a great word to use when talking with your professor but is certainly better than the c-word. “Chick” is okay, so is “Ma’am.” The image that springs to mind is my extremely assholic manager Vic, who says, “Hey Chick-a-dee!” (yes, he is that nerdy) everytime he sees me. The way he says it is not insulting, but he is still letting me know he’s my superior. It’s extremely irritating.
As for “bitch,” well, I rarely use it seriously (see sig). I’ve never called a woman that in seriousness, and don’t plan on it. It’s a hateful word.
Context is all when it comes to the names people assign you. If I ask the waiter politely to please bring more water and he snarls “bitch” under his breath, not only is his tip history, but I did not deserve the hostitlity. If I tell my best girlfriend she’s a strange bitch because she won’t use any bathroon except for her own, then that’s accurate. It’s highly personalized. I don’t mind being called a chick,I think “gal” is hopelessly dated and any other generally accepted derivative is just fine as long as it’s not delivered in a hateful manner. If in doubt, please call me Miss Cyn.
As most have said, context is everything. I would say more, but magdalene already said exactly what I think. 
This may be a slight hijack… I don’t hate any collective noun for women more than any other, what I really hate is when they are mis-paired with the male equivalent.
Ladies = Gentlemen
Girls = Boys
Women = Men
Gals = Guys
Cows = Bulls
Magdalene, Does “birds” have a masculine equivalent?
When I see signs of Men’s and Girls’ it makes me mad.
Back to the OP, context is everything. If my flatmate calls me a bint, it’s affectionate (usually). If my boss called me a bint, I’d be peeved. As for the cunt argument, I don’t like being referred to by any term that “reduces” me to just a sex organ, I’m a whole person.
I’m actually reading that particular monologue in a performance of the monologues here at school.
It’s rather changed my perspective. I like cunt better now… but it remains a question of context.
You all should have been there in chat last night… heh.
The c-word is the big one. Please do not call me a body part. Yes I have what can be refered to as that. Don’t call me that anyway. Or pussy.
The rest I can deal with when they are used with affection. I get edgy when words indicating possesion are added. (No, I’m not your girl.)
I had a great relationship with a kid who I tutored. We saw “Guys and Dolls” and I was “Doll” for the rest of the year. I loved it. When said with respect and affection pretty much any derogatory term can be really, really cool.
Or I’m just really, really twisted.
“Cocks”, perhaps? hehe…
I know that context can change an endearing term to an offensive one, but, in my experience, women can feel very strongly about some of the various words in themselves. For example, some women I know hate the word “broad” simply because of the way the word sounds, regardless of the context. I can sure understand why y’all would strongly dislike “cunt”, for many reasons (reducing a person to a single body part, it just plain sounds like gutterspeak, etc.). Kinda strange that, even though it depends on the context, some of the women who have weighed in so far seemingly can’t even bear to type the “c-word”…
Y’all keep your opinions coming!
I have to absolute favorite restaurants; one has “Guys” and “Dolls” on the doors; the other has a Barbie and a Ken diarama on each door. Barbie has tattos and streaked, cropped hair, while Ken is wearing a Speedo, a bra and a wig. Very creative.
I cannot explain it, other than it is the most derogatory word I can possibly imagine. It does reduce a woman to a body part, and it has extremely negetive connotations for me. It disgusts me. There is no decent or acceptable context for it. I can remember hearing that word as a child, used as the worst possible insult, and it still maintains that meaning for me.
Three things surprise me about this thread:
No one has mentioned the word twat.
What about “babes?” Do women like/dislike to be called babes?
What term offends Opalcat?
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Probably “blokes”, considering the cultural context.
As for myself - I’ve caught myself referring to women in their mid-twenties as “girls”, and I’ve realized that it’s not because it’s I’m sexist - it’s because I’m 26 years old myself, and if they’re “women”, than I’m a “man”, which means I’m a grownup, which is of course patently untrue.
You’d have to be exceedingly sensitive to get offended by that one, I think.
There’s also a Scottish word “hen”, which is usually used in the vocative case (i.e. you don’t normally refer to someone in the third person as a hen). I don’t find that offensive either, although that might have something to do with the inherent charm of a Scots accent.
I guess I pretty much agree that it isn’t the word itself but the way that it’s used that determines whether it offends me.
Oh, and I’m almost 31 and don’t mind being called a girl. I do, however, reserve the right to refer to men the same age as “boys”.
I like vocative terms like ‘hen,’ ‘pet,’ ‘hinny’ and ‘me lover.’ In Devon, it’s quite acceptable to address a group of friends or family with ‘Alright, me lovers?’
The absolute, worst, most offensive situation is when I point out to religious fanatics that the Bible does not apply to me cause it uses the word “men” and they say “Oh, that means men and women.” Since when? Back then, “men” meant “men” and a woman was lower than an animal. Of couse, I shoot back "Then you would agree with the phase “It’s okay for men to have sex with men,” which would mean, by their thinking “It’s okay for people to have sex with people.” Are they going to dispute that logic?
Same thing when they called grown up people “girls.” Then you agree that “It’s okay for men to have sex with girls.”
In short, men, women, boys and girls all refer to very specific groups of people. Use the words correctly.