Women: What term offends you?

In My Humble Opinion
41

and yet, even so, there are some words I intensely dislike just because I dislike the conotation of them. That C-word I’ve never cared for; no, no clear idea on why, it just sounds dirty, smutty, whore-ish to me. Don’t call me a ‘B’ even if I am being one, I’m liable to suddenly walk away from you and not talk to you again until you apologize. And, for the record, I work hard at never being one of those kind of women anyway.

I get quite peeved at being referred to as a ‘chick’ or ‘skirt’ or ‘broad’ or any of those words, as in general they are meant in a derogatory manner. But, as I said, context has a lot to do with my reaction to a particular word, and the tone of voice, and intended meaning behind that word.

Interesting point, Five, about your first query. I absolutely despise that word, almost as much as I despise the c-word. It sounds like gutterspeak to me. Not to mention, I would really hate being called a body part; any body part. I am a whole person. Not a chicken, an article of clothing, or anything else; just a person.

As for ‘Babe’, it really depends. I’ve been called that by strangers, in a ‘you’re nothing but a sex object to me’ way. I very nearly slapped one guy, but he wasn’t worth the effort. I have a couple of male friends who call me that, and they say it very affectionately, I don’t mind at all. Mr Bear calls me that, on occasion, and I definitely don’t mind at all, the way he says it.

The bottom line, for me, and for most of the ladies who have posted, is that it mostly depends on who is using those terms, and how they mean them to come across. So, while there are a few words to me that I absolutely hate and would be most offended at being referred to as, for the most part, it depends on the context.

Is this helping you, Max? Or have we just confused the issue further for you?

42

I think the terms “twat/crack/snatch/and so on” has been neglected because it is covered by already well-discussed terms, “cunt/pussy”. I think for most part, the participants in this survey agree they do not want to be addressed as a body part, all other words depend on context.

Annie-Xmas, I love your examples, and will use them next time I am in a snit about people mixing men/girls or men/ladies.

Alessan, I agree with the assumption that you can refer to a woman within a few years of your own age as girls with less offense. Still, I’m in my mid-thirties, so I have to try not to refer to the men in my office as boys. I doubt I would offend them, but I don’t want to “give them permission” to call me a girl, as I am sure it would make me cranky.

43

Oh, and Five… only use “babe” when “dude” would be the correct masculine equivalent.

44

Originally posted by xtal

It bothers my wife that this is not always true.

For example, saying get me a beer, woman makes me sound like a domineering misogynist.

But her equivalent response get it yourself, man makes her sound like an indolent hippie.

45

Sorry, Cis. I just had a nasty flashback to my old college days, which were entirely too chock full of drunk guys who thought that a girl should be flattered to be called a chick, flattered to be asked to pour the beer - in short, flattered to have their beery, slobbering attention lavished on poor little her (me). I now have a perfectly normal social life, too (not in a bubble), and I’m glad the same is true for you.

46

purplebear

I am utterly fascinated by how polarizing the word “twat” is. I know women who react to it as you do, purplebear. But I also know women who use it as their standard casual term for their genitalia, as between girlfriends or mothers/daughters.

It’s not like “vagina,” which almost no one finds offensive, and it’s not like “cunt,” which almost everyone finds offensive. Responses to “twat” are all over the map.

Why?

xtal, in my experience “babe” has never equated to “dude.” I put it more in the same category as “hunk” or “hottie”…as in, “That Karenna Gore-Schiff sure is a babe!” Is that not a Bay Area usage?

47

St. Attila, I’m sorry, I should have been more specific. You are quite right that the verbal usage is not the same. I was thinking more of signs on bathroom doors. I would be rather offended is someone (more so if that person was British, less so if that person was Texan) to be called a cow. However, I will argue yer lil’lady (joke! joke!) would have to stretch out the vowel in “get it yourself, man” to really sound like a space cadet.

Five, When I was young and dinosaurs roamed the earth, “babe” was the pleasant equivalent of “dude” in the Riverside/Orange/San Dimas areas of Southern California (“betty” was the insulting equivalent). YMMV. Eventually, I think, the usage collapsed into just “dude”. Somewhere, I’m sure, some grad student is writing a paper on just this topic.

I also prefer “Hottie” as a gender neutral term much like SO, but I have not heard anybody use it as a name- equivalent. I can’t think of instance where someone has directed a comment to another person as “So, Hottie, how you doing?”. In my limited experience, hottie seems to be used only as “hey dude, look at the hottie over there”. I think the OP is only concerned about what to call people.

48

I don’t like cunt or twat or pussy (unless yer talking about an actual vagina) or bitch, because I’m not used to hearing them used as anything other than a crude insult. I’ve heard a guy call another friend “bitch” to her face, and she doesn’t seem to find it very insulting. All I have to say is that if he ever says it to me, he better have a good hold of his teeth, 'cause that’s grounds for a spinning backfist. All depends on what you’re used to.

I have no problem with chick. My friends and I typically use it to describe women of lesser age or intelligence, but my best friend and I call each other chickey. It kind of fills in that awkward gap, between ages 14-25, when a chick’s too old to be called a girl anymore, but when “woman” sounds so formal. I wouldn’t tolerate it in a professional setting, of course, but casually I don’t mind being called a chick, even if it’s used exasperatedly, as a gentle insult.

Girl is okay, too, casually, but is utterly inappropriate in a business setting. I call guy friends boys, particularly when we’re joking about sex stereotypes. Like, “Of course you’re not going to ask directions. You’re boys.”

When my husband calls me “woman” jokingly, it’s got caveman appeal. It reinforces a sense of possession, because it implies that I’m his woman. Ugh. Me like. Wouldn’t stand for it from anyone else, though.

The one that sets my teeth on edge is “female” as a noun. A caribou of the fairer sex is a female. A person with two X chromosomes is a woman or a girl. I’m not offended by it, per se, I just find it irritating, probably because I don’t often hear “male” used the same way.

49

My friend at school officially has her nickname “Tits”. No one is bothered by it, except maybe the religion teachers. However, I think I would be kicked in the balls by anyone else if I called them “Tits”.

I don’t really see what’s wrong with calling an older person a “girl”. Whenever I talk about young females, I say “little girl”. Whenever I talk to people my age I say “girl”. However, that’s probably just due to my young age.

Personally, I am offended by being called simply a “man”. I prefer to be called “Penis-wielding testosteronite”. :smiley:

50

Exactly! To me,
Little girl = boy/little boy
girl = guy (podkayne, these are how I would refer to someone who is 14-25).

51

The “C” word definitely bothers me. No matter what context.

Hate “little girl”. I worked in a car dealership for a number of years as a parts/service cashier. I was about 19 or 20 at the time, and a salesperson was leading a customer to my counter to pay for something, and said “Just pay the little girl behind the counter for your parts, sir.” I fumed for hours.

I was also called “girly” by a customer at that same dealership.

52

The word cunt doesn’t bother me as much as twat-maybe because twat sounds like the noise a duck would make if you kicked it…it’s the sound of the word more than than the meaning.

Girl? Check out the user name…ni problems with that.

It’s all about context and the relationship you have w/ the person speaking…my nicknames amongst my closet friends are Tinkerhell and Divabitch ( is there are a theme there?hmmm)and I proudly answer to those names, When a customer calls me sweetie,honey etc it’s all I can do not to respond “How can I assist you w/ you Visa today,big boy?”

53

Great. Now I’m going to be visualizing someone kicking a duck all day. Too damned funny.

54

How do we all feel about “camel lips?”

55

Let me pre-empt Sue Dunhym and say that “camel lips” is okay, just not immediately after a BJ.

56

… and Sue Duhnym, too. (Sorry, Sue)

57

[Brief hijack]
I agree that pairings should be appropriate; but unfortunately I think gentleman is on its way out, at least in the U.S. I’ve noticed two things that seem to indicate it. First, you’ll often hear “gentleman” used to refer to someone who obviously isn’t. During the post-Rodney King verdict riots, the TV showed a man trying to smash a window with a trash can, and kept referring to him as a “gentleman”. Or even worse, I once heard someone refer to an “old gentleman” who was some kind of sex offender. The second thing i’ve noticed is that ladies often gets paired with men, especially in ad writing, e.g. “Sale–Levi’s for ladies and men”. Also it’s not uncommon in public places to find men’s and ladies restrooms.
[/brief hijack]