Women who don't like cunnilingus

In My Humble Opinion
21

Up until several years ago I wasn’t too fond of it, and almost always refused. It was a combination of embarrassment and not ever having had a partner who knew how to do it right.

Done wrong, it’s boring, annoying and a complete turn-off. Refusing was much easier than faking pleasure because someone is totally convinced they are the best licker in the world and can’t bring themselves to believe that perhaps I prefer it done differently than their last partner. Or because being with someone who believes that it is step # 2 in the foreplay instructions so let’s give her some lackluster obligatory licks or that it must be done so as not to appear to be a selfish male but it’s no secret that they aren’t really into it aren’t exactly great big turn-ons either.

Then came the day when I finally met someone who definitely knew how to get that party started :smiley: (so to speak) but also knew how to read non-verbal cues from body language and physical response and translate them into action as well as appearing to take great delight in following verbal instructions (right there, harder, etc).

He also had a take-charge attitude that I found irresistable. It was the first time I ever had someone who took the “you are going to call the shots while I am doing it, but the fact that it is going to be done really isn’t up for debate” approach. Just from they way he said it, I absolutely knew that it was going to be good rather than it being just another guy who thinks he knows what he is doing but really doesn’t experience.

He was also the first man who ever stayed, ummm, totally and obviously physically, uh, “excited” while he did it. That really pushed it over the top for me. Nothing is quite as thrilling as someone obviously getting off on getting you off.

22

I don’t like it, for a few reasons:

  • Yes, I’ve been with guys who have done a very bad job at it and it’s boring
  • One guy was downright rude about it (gets up and spits and says “woosh!”) and turned me off of it for a while
  • I hate staring down over my big fat belly to watch. Makes me feel like a beached whale.
  • I only like it when I’m assured “it’s” clean anyway

But the biggest thing, by far, is what Queen Tonya said - I do not find it intimate at all. I am up here and he is down there and no one is left to kiss my neck or hold me tight or sweat all over me or touch me in a million places. It’s not the experience I’m looking for when I hop into the sack.

Lucky for me, I’m with a guy who doesn’t like to do it so it works out great. I’ve been with guys who flat out tell me “I love to eat pussy” and I really hate to deny a guy what he wants, so it’s much nicer to be with someone who doesn’t.

23

For most of the same reasons that others have posted here, particularly Time Like Tears:

I’m cooooold without your body all over me! On the other hand, my pussy is not an ice cream cone! I’ve had guys do it lots of different ways, and it is no more sexually exciting to me than licking my forearm… And finally, when I know that’s where you’re going and I tell you I don’t like it and you insist then the mix of dread and anger (at you for thinking that at the age of 38 with likely more sexual experience than you give me credit for that I don’t know what turns me on and what does not) doesn’t prime the pump, as it were.

I’ve had it done lots of ways with lots of guys and I don’t like it. There’s lots of other stuff I like (for example, I personally luuuuuv to give head and do it well), why isn’t that enough?

24

. . .

What a mental image . . .

25

Yeah, like the part where you do the cartoon transfer?

26

I used to be one of those women. It made me very self conscious, and (as mentioned) it felt so passive.

Then I had a partner who really liked doing it. That made all the difference to me. If the guy is doing because he thinks he should or that it’s expected, it’s hard for me to relax and get into it. If the guy really enjoys it, it’s wonderful! He doesn’t have to know exactly what to do (I know what feels good and can tactfully tell him), but he does have to enjoy it for it to be fun for me.

27

Are there any lesbians who don’t like cunnilingus?

What do they do instead?

28

I’ve yet to meet a woman who was as good at giving them as she believed or claimed to be. Regarding the OP, I’ve dated several women who could’ve cared less. Never really asked them why, but I got the impression from one that, like me, she’d never met anyone who was able to get her humming that way, so she just didn’t care about it any more. We both lightened up a bit about it as we got to know each other.
I find I tend to like doing it in direct proportion to several things: her cleanliness, her pubic hair (she has to have some), and on just how much I like her as a person. If I like her and she loves to have it done, I love doing it. If she could take it or leave it, I don’t need to do it.
But as others have noted, it’s not very intimate. If I’m with a woman I care about I like making her feel good, but I am still going to want her arms and legs wrapped around me at some point.

29

Obviously you haven’t met me yet. :slight_smile: And I have made converts. And I have the afidavids right here. It is, much like cunnilingus, much to do with the enthusiam of the provider.

Plus a certain amout of ball sucking.

I never said I was good at it till I was told as much. So there.

30

Cite? :smiley:

31

Is this a dare? :stuck_out_tongue:

32

The girl who gave me my first kiss and my first blowjob hated cunnilingus, finger play, etc.–anything “down there” that wasn’t intercourse. She said it just tickled in an irritating way, and she wouldn’t let me do it. Later, she discovered she liked all that stuff when she had her first female partner. So maybe the guys were just doing it wrong.

BTW, I disliked blowjobs for a while for the same reason–the girls I was with were doing it wrong. That girl took a good 20 minutes to get me off (it didn’t help that her teeth scraped and she kept coming up to ask if I was close yet), and of my next two partners, one couldn’t get me off any way except intercourse and the other wouldn’t give head. (Not because she was a prude–we were just so horny that as soon as we saw each other we got naked and went straight for home plate. Before we had time to even think about third base, we’d usually had sex at least three times and we were exhausted.)

I had a change of heart when I dated a girl who could make me come in 30 seconds with her tonguework. Nobody’s lived up to her legend yet.

I agree with your boy. It’s best when there’s a taste and smell to it. (Within reason.)

As for my own skills, I think they could use some work (some partners liked it, others got bored of it quickly; I’ve delivered a pretty decent number of orgasms through fingering and intercourse, but none with the tongue yet), but I can’t get anyone to give me honest feedback. How the hell am I supposed to know what to do? Antist has the right idea: some of us really want to do it right, and we’ll listen. But every woman I’ve been with acts like it’s some ancient secret that you’re not allowed to understand if you don’t know already. And then whines that it isn’t any good.

My last partner thought she had all the answers, too, and lots of ball sucking was one of them. I couldn’t get her out of my bed fast enough, because she talked about what a sex bomb she was all the time but almost nothing she could do could get me off. The screaming orgasms were a nice ego boost, but eventually it felt like I was working like a dog for no tangible reward.

Anyway, not all men are the same. I don’t like ball sucking. The first instance of it ruins the whole thing for me. It just feels terrible. And if I ask someone not to do it and they do it anyway because they “know” that’s what turns men on, I’m never going to call her again.

33

Yeah. I don’t have much else to do this afternoon :slight_smile: .
Autolycus, your invited too, assuming you have something to bring to the party.

34

"My last partner thought she had all the answers, too, and lots of ball sucking was one of them. "

Don’t put me in the same catagory. I don’t think I have 1/4 of the answers. Just this thread makes the case that no one does. But based on emperical evidence, Iv’e noted that guys like a certain amount of ball sucking. Or at least fondling.

Hell I’ve noticed my SO likes me to use my teeth. You never know.

It’s about commication.

So suck my clit till you can’t breath anymore, I’ll do the same. And we’ll both be happy.

35

Yup, we exist. I dislike cunnilingus badly enough that it will turn me off from everything sexual for at least a week if my guy insists. My poor husband has taken way too long, but finally understands that I simply do not like it.

Truth is, I am a hyper-sexual person. I can get into all kinds of kinky, fun, wild and interesting things. I actually enjoy, er, uhm, performing oral sex on my partner, I just abhor it being done to me.

Just my $ .02.

36

I had a girlfriend that didn’t like giving or receiving head, but she pretty much made up for it with her enthusiastic and talented fucking. The only time we went down on each other was on my birthday after several shots (for her, to get her mind off of the “ickyness”), and our respective nethers were slathered in whipped cream. Neither of us got off from it since she was pretty much just going through the motions.

I had a fuckbuddy who loved to give head- and did it very well, even getting off from it herself- but hated getting it. An ideal night for the two of us would be for her to lay between my legs until we both came, and she would happily kneel in front of me while I was sitting on the couch watching TV. She’d stay down there for hours, if I let her, and didn’t want me to reciprocate.

For the record, I love getting my balls sucked. Gently.

37

On that topic – guys, you ever get real sweaty, go a day or so without bathing, then shove your hand down your pants and sniff it? Know what that smells like? It smells like pussy, is what it smells like! Only less intense. I guess crotch is, you know, crotch.

Not a profound thing to notice, but awareness of it might help us all appreciate our partner’s POV.

38

I was used to doing oral on all my previous GFs, and it was almost always part of her and my warm-up to the penetration (lick it and stick it eh?) Now my current GF doesn’t like cunnilingus and it throws me off, but luckily we’re compatible other than that.

I guess the main thing that bothers me about no cunnuilingus is that it takes away one trick from my bag of tricks.

39

Male equivalent here. With the additional factor that if someone decides to insist or to spring it on me, there’s very rapidly no there there for anything to happen to anyhow.

Dunno if I’ve got an oral antifixation or what, but ewww!

40

What about lesbians?