I know that this is a very awkward question, and I also understand that I am ** really** pushing my luck with this one, but this will be the last question I will ask pertaining to these type of issues. Admin If you find this topic too mundane and decide to delete it, I’ll understand.
Earlier I posted a question asking “Why do women wear Bra’s” and got some pretty interesting responses ( Again…Thanks to all those that participated). After reading all of the responses that were posted, I told my girlfriend about it. She didn’t believe that I would be brave enough to post that question, and was pretty amused by it all. Afterwards I overheard her talking to her friends about it and the majority of them stated that although they either did or didn’t wear bras for various reasons, the subject somehow changed to sex and many of them made statements that they didn’t like to have their breast fondled while either engaging in sex or at any other time. My girlfriend asked, “not even if they had children that needed breastfeeding?” About half said NO, thats what bottles and formulas are for. They said that couldn’t even stand having a baby suck or fondle them let alone a full grown man :eek: I thought to myself "* Man, I’ m glad my better half doesnt feel that way* :o
Does anyone else out there feel this way about themselves? If so, how do you deal with it?
**(again if this topic is too mundane or you find it offensive, I apologize in advance and please feel free to disreguard it. My intent is not to disrespect anyone here, I only ask this out of sheer curiosity…thats all) **
I’ve met quite a few women who disliked having their breasts fondled - Just the other day, the cashier at the supermarket disliked it so strongly, she slapped my face.
I’m a huge fan of the fondling myself, but I have a cousin who shocked me by expressing a lot of those sentiments once. She claimed to hate being pregnant because of the changes in her breasts, apparently all the other changes were alright. She was repulsed by the idea of nursing, didn’t want her husband to even look at her boobage much less touch it. Commenting on her cleavage was a serious no-no.
Mom and I discussed it, at length cuz that’s what we do, and came up with a possible theory. Cuz was a very athletic child, doing competitive gymnastics and softball and cheerleading and who remembers what else, but when she developed it was this huge life-changing crisis for her. She was a bit of a late bloomer, almost fourteen before she ‘got boobs’ and then it seemed they’d never stop growing, probably didn’t help that the family christened her Dolly, either. Changed her center of gravity and messed up all her plans for a gymnastics scholarship, brought attention from males aged 8-80 at a time in her life when she wasn’t ready for it, so it kinda makes sense that she resents the changes in her life that the boobs represented.
If that’s apt, one might think that she’d be up on over it as she’s pushing forty, but she’s one messed up chica with regards to her own sexuality, with no less than four marriages under her belt. Not that her desire to not have her boobs fondled necessarily has anything to do with the choices she’s made in life, just saying.
There’s about a two minute window of time during foreplay that I like it. Other than that it feels kind of icky. I don’t have issues with people seeing my breasts or cupping them, but that nipple sucking/touching makes my skin crawl unless it’s in that window of time.
I think Queen Tonya might have part of the answer, that in some cases it’s because women don’t like their own body.
I know from my own experience with other things (like cunnilingus) that it’s possible for something to be a turnoff at a certain stage of a person’s life they once or someday will agian find pleasurable. So therefore, I think, when it somes to breast fondling as a sexual activity with a man, some women may be turned off to it because a lot of guys tend to be ham-handed. Personally, all the women whose breasts I have ever had the pleasure of touching enoyed it. But some of them also said they hadn’t enjoyed it much before they met me. It’s like the difference between being tickled and being scraped, as one put it. Maybe this is the case with a lot of the women the OP has met?
I have never met a woman who didn’t like her breasts fondled during sex.Some liked it more than others (unless, they were pretending for my benefit, of course).
Like most guys, I tended to slaver over women with great big titties,
But after considerable experience it seemed to me that women with smaller breasts were much more excited by having their lovely little mammaries, fondled, sucked, etc., than did gals with very large breasts.
I won’t be surprised if most of the women here will be outraged by my observation (and, if so, I apologize), but it happens to be true - in my case, anyway.
I think that Lizard, Antiochus, and Queen Tonya all made good points on this topic. Years of feeling embarrassed about your breasts, guys who’d been rough about it, maybe even bad sexual experiences could contribute to it. I didn’t like it for a while after I was sexually assaulted (well, among other sexual and emotional troubles) due to one part of the assault, but I worked through the aftermath in therapy. Years later, I went through a period of a couple years where I (for some odd reason) didn’t get any sensation out of it at all, and so it just wasn’t fun for me. The feeling came back eventually.
(Personally, I get icked out at the thought of breastfeeding babies; I don’t make a big deal about it to others, though, and I know it’s a natural thing, the best nutrition for babies, etc. Maybe it’s because I have about zero maternal instinct and no plans on having kids; maybe it’s some “childhood trauma” because I was a bottle baby, whatever.)
One of my ex-girlfriends had breast issues. They were the result of two things - sexual abuse as a child and the fact that her breasts were freakishly large and all her life people had commented on them, “accidentally” touched them, etc. Her bra straps left little cuts on her shoulders all the time. I can’t say I really blame her for not being fond of them. She did like them being touched during sex, but not any other time (not even by me when we were together). But she recently had breast reduction surgery (they’re down to a DD, so that should tell you something) and now she loves her boobs! Seriously! She shows 'em to anyone who asks, she feels infinitely more comfortable in her own body, she can wear sports bras for the first time ever, and her nipples are super-sensitive after having almost no sensitivity before the surgery. It’s even inspired her to lose weight.
For the most part, I can’t stand having mine touched, especially if the only part that’s being touched is the nipple area. My breasts are incredibly INsensitive, and parts don’t have any surface sensation at all, and I hate the way it feels when someone (these days, it’s my husband ) moves from touching an area with sensation to one without sensation. It’s awful!
However, I like having the sides touched, and sometimes gentle kneading. But in general, don’t touch the nipples. Makes my skin crawl to have something happening there that I can’t feel.
I don’t mind having my breasts fondled in general, but I hate it when my husband touched my nipples. It doesn’t feel good to me at all. I can’t even describe what it’s like…they’re pretty insensitive, so I can feel he’s touching me, and it creates just enough sensation to annoy me.
Breat/Nipple stimulation gives my woman the big O.
She breast fed our pups, and it didn’t seem to turn her on in the same way.
But when we would be foolin’ round later the same day it was like old times…only bigger which was a bit of a disappointment to me (I don’t like freak-show-big breastises). It’s like she had two sets: one for the baby and one for us.
Being a male, this is speculative, but this has been my experience as well. And my non-scientific hypothesis is that there are the same number of nerve endings in a breast of any size, therefore there may be more intensity in smaller ones.
My nipples are pretty insensitive too and that seems to be the only place my SO is interested in kissing, etc. It is the most infuriating thing when he just puts my nipples in his mouth and does a gentle sucking. You’d think after all my angry/disguted reactions to that he’d learn. It is just about the quickest way to turn me off sex for the night.
It’s so insane though, my reaction, because it’s such a visceral one. Just absolute disgust and anger. It takes tremendous restraint to stop from outwardly reacting to strongly because I know he’s not doing it to annoy me.
This doesn’t have anything to with any trauma I’ve suffered, and I do like his attention to my nipples when he’s a bit rougher and I can really feel the sensations. My breasts are not big (B cup) so I don’t think it can be broken down strictly by breast size.
If you’re being twiddled like a radio dial, that’s a turn off. Same with pinching, grabbing, or kneading. I don’t have any electronics, and I’m not made of bread dough.
Considering everything they do teach in high school, why don’t they at least teach people some rudimentary sexual skills? Like some tips for fondling breasts, etc.?
<Ducks flames>
I mean, I’ve had some sexual experiences, but I still don’t drive stick shift or use algebra. Teach me something I can use, people!
Mrs. Furthur
PS – Didn’t Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life do this?
“Sucking the nipples” was one of the ways stated to get the vaginal juices flowing. Along with “kneading the buttocks, striking the thighs…” etc. And certainly preferable to “Stamepding for the clitoris.”
I hate having my nipples touched once they’re erect. Caressing and squeezing of boobage is all well and good, but sometimes La Wifey forgets and starts on the raspberries. I none-too-subtly knock her hand away. It’s hard not to hurt her feelings, but it just feels so… annoying.
I haven’t heard anyone mention extremely sensitive skin, which is what I’ve always assumed to be my problem with the nipple-touching. I tried to breastfeed, but tears were streaming down my face, my leg was kicking the side of the hospital bed, and the nurse just said to give it up. There’s a big difference between touching the breast itself and touching the nipple. One is ooooh, the other is iiiiyiyiiiii!!
