Just adding that I was also encouraged to try different positions, had three support people - an off duty nurse, his wife who just popped in to say ‘hi’ before being roped in to fetch and carry, and my mother who took photos.
My mother’s experience with childbirth (1963 & 65) was closer to the horror stories, she was very impressed with how things had changed.
OK, just to provide the other perspective, I’ll share that in the hospital where I had my second and third deliveries, I was not permitted to use the shower in the room, they gave me a lot of flak for wanting to be in any position except the one they wanted me to be in (semi-reclined in the bed), there was no birth tub or birth ball or anything like that, they wouldn’t give me anything to drink except ice chips, and the nurses were pretty uniformly dismissive and rude every time I asked them anything at all. Additionally, my daughter (baby #2) was taken away from me after the delivery without my permission or consent and put in an “observation nursery” for absolutely no reason except for that I had diabetes during pregnancy. I was not allowed to attempt breastfeeding before she was removed from the room, and nobody even told me where she was going. After a while, when it was obvious she hadn’t been taken just for a routine weight check or something, I sent MrWhatsit off to go find her, and he wound up staying with her in the nursery for the next few hours until they finally agreed to release her to us in the room again. Meanwhile I had a nurse that insisted that I sit in a wheelchair to be taken to the recovery room even though I told her I was feeling light-headed. I got into the wheelchair and promptly threw up, at which point the nurse rolled her eyes, audibly sighed, and left me there for several minutes while she went to go find something to clean me up with.
My sister also delivered at this hospital, by the way, and was told by one of the labor & delivery nurses that she would probably not be successful breastfeeding because she was white – Mexicans, according to this nurse, have an easier time breastfeeding because in their culture they are more accustomed to just “letting things hang out.” I wish I were making this up.
So, my experience in that hospital basically sucked and I wanted to be out of there ASAP. However, the hospital I delivered my first baby in was different, and was really great, and I didn’t have any of these issues. (I had diabetes in pregnancy then too, and there was none of the “we have to take your baby away for four hours” nonsense - which, btw, I successfully negotiated away for my third baby. “Can’t you just do that in the room?” I asked, and was told, “Well, yes, but it’s somewhat more convenient for the nursing staff not to have to do that.” “But you CAN do it in the room.” “Well…er… yes, I suppose.” It was like they were bewildered that a new mother would actually want to keep her baby with her. I don’t know. It sucked.)
Yikes. The staff there sounds awful, MsWhatsit. I don’t think I have the stamina for childbirth after hearing that and all the other painful stories.
If someone has opted out of a thread, it seems awkward to post something like this: it’s an attack on her professional capacity (“worrying”) but she can’t respond without being the sort of person who leaves a thread in a fanfare and then jumps back in.
Furthermore, she left because she felt like she wasn’t explaining herself well–she didn’t attack anyone or leave with a huffy “last statement” that was argumentative or incendiary. If she doesn’t want to participate, she should be allowed to bow out.
Did she leave? Sorry–it’s been a long thread, I think I glossed over that post…
Post #99:
Easy to miss. This thread has moved fast!
Ah, thanks for that, Manda JO. Some of these long threads can be hard to keep up with!
I think what you mean here is that in the case of uncomplicated pregnancy, home delivery is preferable FOR YOU. My first pregnancy was as uncomplicated as could be–and if I hadn’t delivered in a hospital, my daughter would likely be brain damaged, if not dead. I love my home, but I’ll have my babies (and my operations–we don’t seem to hold up home surgery as some kind of desired goal for people) in the hospital, thanks.
Wonderful for you and for her. But none of this means she won’t make a mistake–a tragic mistake–at some point. Just like OBs do. In hospitals. Past performance doesn’t guarantee future results in medicine (or birthing), ever.
I am glad you did, and IMO no woman should ever attempt home birth w/o a lot of research and talk with others. Women die in childbirth–it’s not something to decide blithely or because it’s trendy.
I cannot imagine what that cascade* may be. Lemme see here: you get interviewed–meds, ht and wt, general health questions etc (one nurse for #1 son sat on my bed and held my hand as I cried that I was ruining Daughter’s life by giving her a sib–how cold and heartless she must have been. I just didn’t see it…), you get a saline lock–in case you start to seize or need emergent resuscitation; your vitals get taken and you get to wear a really ugly gown. Oh wait–if your night gear allows easy access to the bits of you that the HCPs need, you can wear whatever you want. Never mind. You may get a fetal monitor strapped on you for a bit, to see how baby is doing. Or you may not. The days of the enemas and enforced bed rest are long gone (they were going out in the 80s).
I could shower in early labor, walk around outside my room, talk on the phone etc. They discouraged eating, but who wants to eat while they’re in labor? I didn’t–but I loved my ice chips.
*I’m familiar with the concept: one intervention leads to 3 others etc. I just don’t see that in “normal” in hospital deliveries. I mean, what would you be doing at home? Folding laundry? Cooking dinner? :dubious:
While the risk of infection is definitely greater in the hospital, the clock is ticking mostly because the clock is ticking. Does any of us want to be like Melanie Wilkes in Gone With the Wind? Didn’t she labor for days? Exhaustion of the mom is a concern as well. Or don’t moms at home get exhausted by delivering? :dubious:
I’d like a cite, please. I had narcs with all 3 of mine and never once did my labor slow, none of my kids were sluggish or sleepy upon birth etc. I had Pit with one child (my first)–yes, by an old school OB (the senior partner who happened to be on call; he retired shortly thereafter). But here’s the thing: I had the Pit AFTER I had the baby–to firm up my womb (his words). And yes, it did hurt (nothing, NOTHING, hurt as bad as delivering the placenta for me. Augh).
I had kids from 1989-1998 and none of this was true for me. 2 different hospitals, 3 different OB (thanks, American health insurance!). I have never seen the hospital as a strange, intrusive environment. I was thankful as could be that these were not MY sheets that were being pooped and bled on, that I didn’t have to clean up the mess I was making, that there were experts on hand if need be. No doubt there are docs who do jump to sections (partly fueled by the expectation of a perfect birth and baby–OB has one of the highest, if not THE highest rates of medical malpractice suits), but #1 son was a normal, spontaneous, vaginal delivery: all 10 lbs, 4oz o him (22 inches long). My OB did everything she could to not section me and it worked. YMMV.
Yes. But blame the culture of Perfection and Unrealistic Expectations, and blame the residencies that no longer teach repositioning of the fetus etc. Time was when a breach baby might have been encouraged to turn or even helped along to do so: now it’s a C-section. So, yes, the medical community is falling down on this one. (the bit about the residency programs comes from my father: an OB/neonatal pathologist and yes, midwife).
But again, one can have medication that alleviates pain but does not cause one to lose consciousness. It’s not an either/or. Maybe it was in the 1960s and 70s, but not today.
Yes, same here–but it was a different sort of pain for me. One thing that I found exhilarating was the way my body knew what to do–no brain power needed at all. Amazing.
I just realized I hadn’t answered your question about the magnesium. They had me on mag sulfate for four days, but only after I’d had the seizure. I had no seizure medication while I was laboring, which couldn’t have been helpful.
I hated the feeling once I was on magnesium. I would start a sentence, trail off and pick it up ten minutes later right in the middle. And they have to monitor you constantly - I couldn’t have gotten more than 20 minutes of sleep at a time, what with one nursing coming in to check reflexes, then another my vitals, then a physician.
I’m sure you’ve been waiting on my answer with bated breath. 
And a hospital birth does not mean you will get pain meds. I’ve had a number of girlfriends deliver in hospitals pain med free. (I think one may have been motivated to have her third baby because she wasn’t going to get meds for the first two and broke down).
One of my girlfriends is a doula assisting in hospital births. Many of her clients choose not to have pain medication (I suspect more than average, I suspect that “no meds” and “hire a doula” go hand in hand a lot).
Granted, a hospital birth makes it a lot easier to change your mind and decide that an epidural sounds really good right now. Or maybe just a little Nubain. I’m sure the homebirth midwife shows up with a better kit than rusty scissors, but she probably doesn’t come equipped with a needle for an epidural.
I have a good friend who had a home birth, and she was AMAZED that my OB “let me” give birth in a private hospital with no drugs - she apparently went around telling lots of people about it. I think as someone else mentioned there is a real divide between the medically managed vs at home crowds, with each thinking that the other group is taking unecessary risks, and are not fully informed.
I did a great deal of reasearch and had a birth plan (ideally no drugs or induction, if necessary epidural, no to pethadine and episiotomies), and my OB was totally OK about everything, only vetoing my request for oral vit K instead of injection.
But had things gone pearshaped, I was happy enough with my research into his skills and experience to know I would trust his recommendations. So when my perineum was apparently going to ‘shatter’ and he said he was going to do an epi to prevent that, I was OK with that. (In the end, the shot of local plus a little digital coaxing from the midwife was all I needed, and one more push and she was out).
I was raised on the stories of both my sister and I having very narrow birth escapes (one with a cord around neck, and the other with a knot), both of which were only picked up with a little monitoring. Chances are that if we had been born at home, we would not have done so well. And while I love the sound of a home birth, the reality for me is that many of the complications that can occur, while rare, are quick on onset, and unpredictable. This 2005 WHO report suggests the causes include haemorraging, eclampsia, infections and obstructed labour which appear to be unpredictable factors for many women. I don’t think I could totally relax knowing this.
So in the interest of a healthy baby and mum at the end, it was labour at home as long as I could, and then off to hossie for the main event.
Just chiming in with an observation from helping out on the last 3 of my 6 god daughters -
My friend Patty [slightly modified name for privacy sake] wished for flavored ice chips. After a while just plain water gets real boring.
Sometimes hospital staff just plain don’t listen. I had to practically threaten the staff on the last kid with splitting the fee - she has very short transitions, like 10 minutes. I kept trying to get the nurse to get the Doc to come in because she had hit transition and she was going to pop the kid out very shortly … it literally did take threatening to get a doc in. One would think that on the 6th kid one might know how ones body reacts to pregnancy, and what each stage of delivery feels like.:dubious::smack:
At least over the years the delivery suites have gotten homier. The last one was very family comfy, with some living room like furniture and lighting, and both a TV and radio. Much less clinical looking.
Weirdern’ owl shit.
Hell no.
Labor hurts like a bitch, btw.