This old dinosaur isn’t particularly bent (not in the way you mean, anyway). I’m just trying to puzzle out this particular maze in modern polite society. As for the other men, I didn’t ask them, opting instead for the relative anonymity available here.
So how is that not choosing? Letting one’s eyes fall where they may is specifically NOT choosing but letting one’s instincts (or something) take over one’s behavior.
In any case, I am enough of an adult to take responsibility for this, even when I find the context unsettling.
By the way, as long as we’re being politically correct about what women wear, perhaps we could do with a little less of the age-related snark? I mentioned my age for context, not so that I would be called an “old perv (eww!)” and an “old dinosaur.” That I am old makes me neither a perv nor a dinosaur.
FWIW, I included the “old perv” comment in reference to what a younger female might think about an older man noticing her appearance, not as any sort of judgement of you. Especially in relation to seeking to appear attractive to young men, but not older men, as if there is some sort of natural filter to screen out older men. I wasn’t referencing you at all, just any “old” guy, however any particular woman would define “old”.
Y’all want something that might be analogous for men? Check out Rowan Atkinson’s attire in this otherwise incredibly dull video about the fundamentals of comedy.
Now, that’s not secondary sexual characteristics, it’s primary sexual characteristics, so maybe it’s different. But it’s definitely accentuating body parts on men that are generally covered up.
Culturally, of course, that’d be far less acceptable for a man to wear to work than anything that’s discussed herein. But it’s also considered really inappropriate for a man to wear a shirt with a plunging neckline; when that was mentioned earlier, we got jokes about seventies couture, and rightly so. A man who bares any leg at the office, not to mention a knee, is behaving outrageously; many offices don’t allow men to show their arms.
Just sayin’, it’s not like men get a whole lot of sartorial freedom at work.
I’ve worked at lots of different technology companies, and it’s totally OK for dudes to wear shorts. Shorts, t-shirt, sandals, and socks. Hoodie optional.
It’s true that if you wear that sort of get-up you’re probably gonna get steered into the “individual contributor” track. Which best for everyone, really.
I’m surprised. You don’t know as a gay man what such attire in a business setting would be? I’m not saying what women are attracted to is the same as gay men, but it’s an analogous situation.
I was at a store where one of the tech workers was wearing a camo utilikilt. Was he wearing it as an attention-getter? I seriously doubt it. He probably just preferred to have comfortable airflow.
A few offices I know had very specific dress codes, that generally frowned on overly casual or overly provocative clothing. It would be inappropriate and dangerous to approach the woman directly regarding your concern. But since this obviously bothers you, perhaps it’s time for your office manager to publically have a review of those rules. That way no one has to say anything directly to the person unless the behavior persists. I have worked among some very religious people who tend towards much more conservative dress and standards for that dress than most, so I’m aware that sometimes something that may not be an issue for myself, can be an issue for someone else (I’m not saying that’s why you have an issue, just stating that I understand that just because I’m ok with something doesn’t mean its appropriate for the office).