My sister and I are not speaking. We haven’t spoken since October, when she told me I was acting crazy because I had post-partum depression. Then she hung up the phone on me and we haven’t spoken since. I sent her an invitation to baby Smaje’s 1-year birthday party in early December (even though we live across the county, my sister always sends me invites to her two sons’ birthday parties – we’ll likely never make it, but it’s a nice thing to do). She texted me that she wouldn’t be able to attend the party but she was putting a gift in the mail.
Christmas came and went, and no one in my family contacted me. I was tempted to call them, but my husband gently reminded me that I was always the one to make contact on the holidays. And so I waited. And no one called. Or texted. Or emailed. It made me tremendously sad. I know my mom and dad were visiting my sister and her family for the holidays, and no one contacted me. (I did finally get a text from my mom the day after new years with a “happy new year”!) I sent my sister, her husband, and her two sons a box of fun Christmas gifts. My sister sent Baby Smaje a super cool awesome Christmas gift.
Suddenly it was January, and I completely forgot about my nephew’s birthday. I mean, I remembered it was his 9th birthday the day of, and so obviously I hadn’t gotten him a gift or a card or anything. Mr. Smaje told me to call to tell Nephew happy birthday, but I just didn’t want to. Every time I talk to him on the phone, he has no idea who I am. We haven’t seen a lot of each other over the years, since we all live so far away, but I try so hard to send him cool, unique gifts and pictures of myself and my husband and our baby, so he’ll know who we are.
And since I was feeling weird about the whole thing with my sister, I just didn’t call. I plan on sending Nephew a $10 bill and a card, and apologize for being late, but I don’t feel bad about not calling him.
My husband is super close with our neice (his brother’s child) and would definitely call her (if not see her in person) on any birthday. But I’m just not close to my nephews. I’ve tried to be, but I just don’t think my sister cares about family in the way I do. I would hate for my nephews to grow up and just think I’m crazy Aunt Smaje who lives in a blue state.
I feel like the whole situation should be breaking my heart, but I’m nearing the point where I am just over my whole family.
Some background:
On the stand-off between me & mom re: coming to visit:
(UPDATE: My mom called me one month after I sent her the original email to inform me that she and my father were coming to visit, but they don’t stay in hotels when visiting family. They would instead stay with me and my husband in our small house. I told her that was unacceptable, and my only condition for her coming to visit was that she spend the night in a hotel (8 hours out of the day, a nice hotel, reasonably priced, 5 minutes away, and I was going to give her my car). She refused. And so she isn’t coming to visit. YAY!)
On my sister accusing me of having post-partum depression:
On the original fight that brought it all about: