I’d vote for this, if it didn’t sound so much like somebody just kept a college nickname for way too long and keeps referring to himself in the third person as ‘the Mattster’ while everyone around him grows up to buy houses and have kids, whereas he still tries to hold fast to his glory days, thinking of himself as a ‘fun guy’, never realizing he’s become the creepy old dude hanging around at parties of much younger folk that are happy to have him buy them beers, but then tell each other to watch their drinks around him.
True, but this is also why it is exactly the right word for a male mistress.
I’ve heard and seen it used for and by people who weren’t married. It doesn’t seem inapt to me.
I don’t think it’s really a word for “male mistress”, though. For one thing, it’s gender neutral. For another, it can indicate an equal relationship; and/or can indicate a relationship that might turn into marriage.
I was always under the impression that a sugar daddy was supporting the woman financially. I might be wrong.
Menopausal, I believe; back when one didn’t say “menopause” out loud except in the doctor’s office.
– hmm, maybe I’m wrong about that one.
That’s the word I was trying to think of. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody use it, though; only seen it written in old books. (With the result, of course, that I don’t know how to pronounce it.)
‘Jeegolo’, with the stress on the first syllable. Listen here:
A friend of mine was, for a while, a professional gigolo.
He’s Israeli so he started out with that bullshit “Red Sea mud” hard-sell beauty treatments in the US (this was the early 2000s, not sure if the scam still exists), and I guess spotted a market opportunity in his clientelle.
He does other work now.
At least the way I understand it, “lover” in English just means someone you’re having sex with on a regular basis, with the implication being that you’re of roughly the same social class (so no money is changing hands). Sentimental or emotional involvement may be present, but it’s not required. On the other hand, someone you’re actually in love with would be your “beloved”, whether or not you’re fucking. My French is very poor, but I suspect that “lover” is closer to “amant” than to “amoureux.”
Welcome to the SDMB!
I think the “problem” with paramour is that can be male or female.
Gigolo might work better but I thought that was a male prostitute which is not quite the same. I don’t think there is a single word that is the same as “mistress” for women keeping a man on the side (that she also supports financially).
Well my English is poor too ! I tough “Lover” means i’m in love with. Otherwise, amant/lover = physical and amoureux/beloved = sentiments.
In American English, we use “make love to”, in the modern idiom, to mean “copulate with” (about a century ago, it was used to mean something more like courting or showing strong affection for). Hence, a “lover” is often someone who makes love to another person, even if the emotional tie between them is weak or absent.
“The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.”
—Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest
I was going to propose “Mastress” but you effectively beat me to it. (Miss/Mistress, Master/Mastress)
Also “Misteress” takes the prize in my view.
Dat’s me: the misteress wit’ da mostest.
Gee I wish. 
He buttered her up, and she egged him on.
That’s my impression as well.
That is absolutely what it means. Whereas, while a man might be in an extramarital sexual relationship with a mistress, there is no implication that any money is changing hands.
But there is an implication of class difference. Look at it this way: if a man is sleeping with his secretary, she’s his mistress. But what if a man is sleeping with his business partner? Is she his mistress too?
And what if he’s sleeping with his boss?
I don’t think the term “sugar daddy” would apply to any of those examples.
I don’t think it’s a class difference exactly - I’m not sure how I feel about the business partner or the boss but a co-worker or neighbor would presumably be the same class and still be a mistress. In fact, I’d be really surprised if a maid who was sleeping with the boss was referred to as his mistress.
Could you imagine a man and his mistress going out to dinner together and splitting the bill?