Implediment - a cross formation from Impliment and Impediment, used to describe any system, tool or software that will take longer to learn to use properly than the time it was intended to save. Also, any modern convenience that isn’t convenient.
‘Crazier than a shithouse rat…’ is another coinage I only heard recently.
Earlier today I swore, in English, “Saint sacrifice!”
It combines parts of various Quebecois curses, but no actual one, and translates it.
“Doink”: contraction for “dope, idiot, and jerk”.
“Doy, doy doy”: soundtrack for clueless, meandering people in traffic or public places.
Nitpick: you mean implement.
Verbing. It’s the act of using a noun as a verb.
My boyfriend is a Scrabble genius. If he wasn’t so good at so many other things I would think he was a Scrabble idiot savant. Today I told him I was much impressed with his “scrabbleosity” and “vocabulariousness.” I also came up with the phrase “sweet, buttery fuck” awhile ago and find that it rolls off the tongue very well.
obligatory acquaintance: noun, a person that you know because you were obligated to be in the same setting on a regular basis. This person is not a stranger since you knew of each other, but isn’t close enough to be called a friend. Sometimes referred to as “some classmate of mine” or “someone in my office.”
I started using this phrase in the late 90’s. I just googled and found less than 10 references. So I guess it’s still mine! YAY!
Working at Wally World, I completely understand “Lumpenshrews.”
My contribution to the topic: working where I work (see above), I see (mostly men) adults (mainly) walking around with some of the dumb-dumber-dumbest t-shirt motifs around. My suggestion for a shirt is this: the type is almost all white on a black background (with the exception of the “r”, which is kind of a dingy grey. Also, the “r” is in a much smaller lowercase than the rest of the shirt’s message, which has to be all uppercase, & take up as much of the chest as possible. The message is:
“ARROGANT SHI(r)T HEAD”.
Love, Phil
I’m pretty sure that one’s ancient. I reckon my grandfather used to use it, and he’s been dead over 20 years.
The use of “utterly” “stupid” and “bucket” instead of swear words.
If you say “He is an utterly stupid bucket” in just the right tone, people know what you mean.
I also say “you’re gonna hear about it” when I know the feedback will be bad.
Fartnonymous – a flatus having no known source;
Call me an odd parent, but I encourage my 8 yr. old son to be fartnonymous rather than to let it rip. Unless he’s trying to make an impression, or planning to follow said act with the statement-“I fart in your general direction (MP)”. AFAIK, I am the proud coiner of that term.
Joe
My sister many years ago came up with WAB (walking afterbirth), a shapeless and personalityless person.
A couple of years ago at bowling we thought up “Sprike” a gutterball/ 10 frame in bowling. We’re trying to get that one spread around the country but it hasn’t gone anywhere yet.
Heisenberks - Someone you know is about to do something astoundingly stupid, but you can’t predict when or how suddenly. I encounter them all the time while biking to and from work.
Ex: the driver coasting at 5mph in the parking lane with their emergency blinkers on. I’ve seen them suddenly speed up, swing left, swing right, shift into reverse or stop dead. Usually distracted with looking for something and zero regard for what’s around them. Too slow to follow behind and too dangerously unpredictable to overtake. Heisenberk.
Yeah, I came up with that one, too.
I don’t have a whole bunch of neologisms, but I have come up with many a joke that I found out already existed. Even Groucho Marx stole one of mine many years before I was born. You just can’t trust anybody.
RR
TRS is a terrible condition that happens to a friend of mine very often. When she gets distracted or off in thought while standing around, her arms will lift so that she is holding them limply against her chest with her wrists slack.
T-Rex Syndrome. Don’t let it happen to you.
Joe
Sorry - Calvin came up with that one:
http://www.boston.com/news/globe/ideas/articles/2006/02/26/curbing_the_verbing/
I remember learning a phrase in a real estate law class ‘NCM’ or Non Compos Mentis, for someone who is not mentally competent. As in someone who was not eligible to sign or could not be held responsible for entering into a contract, etc.
Living in Texas at the time, we used to substitute ‘NTS’ as our own phrase, meaning ‘None Too Smart’…
My friends and I used that term 30 years ago to describe girls of loose morals.
Maybe they already exist but I’ve been known to use blanditudes (bland + platitudes) and pignorant (pig ignorant). Not particularly clever but sure.