“Mouthwatering”. As in TV commercials for that cheap ‘all-you-can-hold-down’ buffet. Cannot stand that word - is it supposed to be a substitute for “salivating”? You never see that word in print adverts because it is disgusting.
I just remembered my irrational hatred of the word “whilst”. I know, it’s just the British “while”. It probably wouldn’t bother me to hear a British person speak it (an American, though, I’d want to punch in the head) but I only ever see it written, and when I see it written, I cringe.
“Luncheon”. I don’t know why this word annoys me so much.
“Peoples.” It’s already plural damnit!
Guesstimate
Is that a real word?
Precondition, used by bloated, pompous horses’ asses. I demand it be stricken from the language unpreconditionally.
I’ve gotten so I can’t stand the word “trick,” because of all the damn internet ads. “Lose weight with this simple trick.” “Cleveland mom discovers whiter teeth by using one simple trick.” “Lower your bills with this trick.”
It irritates me so that I actually get angry when somebody asks me for my “trick” to making good bread or tries to show me the “trick” to uploading a video or something. Piss off, scammers. Go play tricks on somebody else.
smegma
Me too.
I also hate signage instead of sign(s).
“Extrude.”
Bad grammar, saying “them are good to eat”. You’re 45 and you still say “them” instead of “those”???
Around St. Patrick’s Day, businesses sticking an “O’” in front of their names; in a fake Irish brogue, they exhort you to “come down to O’ Greenburg’s Deli” or “St. Paddy’s Day blowout at O’ Paulowicz’s Furniture Store”.
Saying, “oh, look at you, all brown” when you get a tan in the summer. I hate that! You get “tan”, not “brown”! I haven’t got a thing against people of color, it just rubs me the wrong way. Allll broooowwwwnnnnn.
And as mentioned, ‘nice guy’ or ‘nice gal’. What does that mean? I don’t want to meet a bad guy or gal, but ‘nice’…meaning what?
Also, as mentioned, “the wife”. I was called “the wife”. Once. Never again. Made me feel like I should have curlers in my hair, bunny slippers, and holding a rolling pin, like Flo in Andy Capp, lol. “My wife”, not “The wife”.
OMG. “Baby bump”. And…“flaunt”. Put them together and it has a double impact of hate, I just see red! AO Smell headlines are notorious: “See pics of celebs flaunting their baby bumps!” Doesn’t ‘flaunt’ mean to show off in a boastful fashion? Does a heavily gravid abdomen really need to be referred to as a cute little ‘bump’?
HAAAAAAAAATE that!
English teacher: “There are two words in the English language we must never use. One of them is ‘swell,’ and the other is ‘lousy.’”
Lucy Ricardo: “What are they?”
I am confused by this bit of your post. Are you saying you seriously don’t understand what “nice” means in the English language?
Oh, yeah, I do know the definition of “nice”. I actually learned it back in elementary school, no need to worry!
So…you do…understand, even though previously you said…oh, forget it. Have a nice day. 
Cop: “When we got the tip that he was the one killing the children and raping the nuns, we arrested the gentleman.”
orientated – Is that even a real word? I think it’s just a weirdism spoken by the uneducatized.
My peeve, commonly seen in newspapers and on-line op-ed pieces, is the interchangeable use (ahem, utilization) of the words stanch and staunch.
Suck or sucks.
Partly because it is vulgar but mostly because it always used in a negative sense: “Traffic jams suck.”
I know “suck” has several meanings, but when I hear it I think of sexual connotations. Now I know that those who suck don’t always enjoy it, but to the suckee it is universally pleasurable. Therefore, people, places, and things that suck should be applauded, thanked, commended, and otherwise encouraged to continue sucking.
I know there is some kind of cultural explanation for pronouncing ask like axe but I still can’t get over it.
You’d think that the very first time you had to spell out the simple three-letter word you’d notice something wasn’t quite right.