Wordsmiths: help me come up with a sign for Monday Night Football

This weekend, I’ll be headed off to San Diego, where I have tickets for Monday Night Football. As this is for my traveling companion’s birthday, and quite likely a once-in-a-lifetime event, I sprung for field-level, front-row, 50-yard-line tickets. Clearly, this occasion necessitates the creation and display a of bigass sign bearing a witty initialism.

…and therein lies the rub. My traveling companion, hereafter referred to as “my dad”, is an ex-advertising type, and I’m sure he’ll come up with something…but he hasn’t yet, and I don’t want to leave empty-handed (or empty-postered, as the case may be). Knowing that the Dope possesses a collective verbal jujitsu to put my own to shame — not something you’ll often find me conceding elsewhere — I turn to you and say, lend me your pens.

Right then. The goal is to get my dad on TV by way of an appropriately whimsical sign. If you don’t already know how these work, the signs most likely to end up on TV seem to be comprised of initialisms derived from the station on which the game is being televised, or any special aspects of the game itself (such as Monday Night Football). The terms themselves tend to be either generic support for one’s favored team/player, or disparaging remarks about the opponent. A rather uninspired example might be:

Cowboys
Butcher
Steelers

Additional “fill words” are acceptable as long as the general scheme is followed, eg:

Nobody
Beats the
Colts

So, here’s what I have to work with.

The game is Monday Night Football on ESPN. We are supporting the San Diego Chargers, also known as the “Bolts” or “Thunderbolts” (real helpful, I know), who are playing the Denver Broncos. The two teams are rivals in the AFC West. A full Chargers roster can be found here. A few key players are Philip Rivers (QB), LaDainian Tomlinson (LT…er, RB), Darren Sproles (RB-KR), and Vincent Jackson (WR).

I know there’s not a lot to go on, but that’s why I’m turning to the Dope. I know you won’t let me down. Once we’ve made our decision, I’ll post here to let you guys know what we went with, so those of you watching at home can easily spot us in all our blue-jersey’d beer-drinking glory!

Late in the game, they usually show somebody with a “Sportscenter is Next” sign, which could also incorporate “Go 'Bolts” or some such…

Moving thread from IMHO to Cafe Society.

Have you considered John 3:16? :stuck_out_tongue:

My
Nuts are
Frozen

Or tape a pregnancy test stick to a sign saying

No
Baby
Coming

“Hank Williams Jr.” with the universal symbol for “no” around it (red circle with line through it.)

Two choices here:

  1. It never rains in California; man it POURS! <–just in case it’s raining.

Every
SportsCenter
Play
Next

Those Bronco uniforms are
Moronic
Nauseating
Fugly

I think you should just do a Dope shout out and carry a sign that says “Cite?” and go stand next to people with signs that say stuff like “Bronco’s Rule!”.

Or get a pic of a cute kitty (wearing your team’s helmet) and have the sign say “I can haz win?”
Okay, I spend too much time on the internet.

Epileptic
Sproles
Promotes
Narcolepsy

Electric
Sproles
Powers
Norv

?

Every
Sportsfan’s
Perfect
Night

Every
Small
Penis…No, that’s no good.

Men
Nosh
Frankfurters…

Evil
Sign
Painters
Negotiate…:confused:

Aw, forget it.

“Hit A Home Run!”
Thus showing you’re too cool to actually know the rules of the game you paid to see.

Looks like my dad came through. For the curious, we may go with any or all of the following.

General-purpose team support:

Engage
Super Charger
Phil-osophy”
Now

For when Turner gets a little too run-happy on third and long:

Everybody
Say
Pass
Norv!”

To gloat when we go ahead:

Expect
Some
Postseason
Now

I suppose having

What’s the
Eastern
Seaboard
Programming
Network
Doing here?

wouldn’t be such a good idea.

Roland, I hope those tickets work out for you. I’ll be looking for your sign in the front row. Even though I miss taunting VaJayJay, Monday Night against the Donkeys is always a blast.
Be sure to let us know how the trip turned out when you get back.

Too bad you’re not seeing Atlanta game.

Missing
Nother
Falcon?

No clever answer for you – just wanted to wish you the best of luck and I really hope you’re able to pull this off and get your dad on TV. Two things I wanted to point out, though –

1: I think being on the 50, while great for watching the game, is going to hurt you in the “get on TV” department. It seems to me that most of the fan closeups come from outside the “20-20” area. Still, worth a shot, and I could very well be way off base on this.

2: I hope you’ll take it with the full weight of one football fan to another when I say to you – fuck the Chargers. :smiley:

Jesus, Hal, is there anything I like that you don’t despise? What’s your take on rare prime rib? :smiley:

Thanks for the good wishes, everyone. TBE, I kept the nosebleed tickets in case we actually want to see the game at some point. I’ll probably post a thread about my adventures when I return, if anything particularly interesting happens. Off I go! (Well, at 2:00 a.m. tomorrow anyway, but close enough.)