Work Rants (add yours)

The BBQ Pit
81

A couple of random moments of asshattery from my area manger.

Bunny: Sorry I’m not going to make it to the managers meeting today. Someones gone right into the back of my car.
AM: Well… is it still driveable? (note it would be a 120 mile round trip)
Bunny: Yes I’m fine. Thanks for asking.
AM: I’ll be in your store with (his boss) in 30 minutes, is everything looking good?
Bunny: Sure, apart from the fact our fresh food deliveries haven’t turned up so we’re out of milk.
AM then goes off on a rant about always keeping a spare days supply of milk in back-up storage and how easy it is, just order enough to fill the sales fridge and have an identical amount in reserve.

Two problems:
1: We do keep an extra days cover of milk. I’m occaisionally (well frequently) incompetent, but I’m not fucking stupid and don’t need to be talked down to. (Un)fortunately we were so busy that over the last two days we had nearer three days worth of sales so bye-bye back-up stock.

2: As I told him, that is a brilliant ordering strategy with one basic flaw. We usually have to refill the milk display at least three times daily. So his masterplan would have worked fine… until lunchtime.

3: My team have worked so hard and so well over the last three years that the shop around the corner gave up and closed down. It wasn’t through any underhand techniques. It was simply down to us putting our customers first and doing everything we can for them. Don’t treat us as a bunch of slackjawed fuckabouts who don’t give a damn. Remember when I covered for my manager while she recovered from her operation? I worked out that some weeks my salaried pay came to around £4 an hour because of the shifts I put in. That was 15 months ago and you still haven’t said thank you yet.

82

I have a coworker who does this. She was going for a professional certification test, and had been bitching and complaining since FEBRUARY about the whole process. Why? Because her boyfriend, who’s already got his license, told her she should have taken the classes later. I told her she should take the classes closer to the test time. THE INSTRUCTOR told her that it’s highly irregular to take the classes that far away from the test. But, since she wrote out the check in February, she HAD to start the classes immediately.
Also, she’s pissed they weren’t in a classroom setting. Never mind that the instructor did me a “solid” and held personal classes for her in his home so that she could make them while her son was at whatever sport practice he sucks at anyway.
Then, we get to the 2 practice test sessions. Now, I get the, “I don’t know why we’re doing it so early”, “I’m not prepared, my boyfriend said that I should have been in classes later. The instructor’s really bad.” She does fine, but only as good as someone who didn’t really read the material provided.

All this time, she’s telling me that she never wanted to do it so early, and that she thinks he’s unreasonable, etc.

Fast forward to yesterday. Aside from being completely unprepared, she also went to another facility to get some parts she was missing. After calling my buddy, her teacher, up to make sure he’s bringing everything she’ll need, he said the best phrase ever, “Well, aside from you signing the sheet that says YOU’LL provide everything you require for the test, and then going to another facility because I didn’t stock a specialty item nobody buys anyway and I told you not to use, why did you think that I would automatically know what you’re missing? You didn’t even call during office hours.”

I just want to pull her aside, and let her know that just because she SAID something is what she wants does not mean the rest of the universe will automatically bend to her will. I’ll find out how the test went in 5 weeks.

83

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Christ. It’s gotten to the point that if I touch one of those bastards at work the skin on some random part of my hand will automatically split open. And bleed. I have gotten used to the pain at this point; I am just annoyed by the fact that this happens at some point almost every single day.

Fun stuff.

Oh! Wait! I don’t have one now! touch wood

Honestly this is the only sucky part of my job right now. I get paid somewhat decently to listen to NPR on my headphones all day. I am basically doing data entry, so my day is not unlike knitting while watching tv.

84

This is incredibly minor, but it do bug me so.

I sometimes work for my sister-in-law at her dental office. She is the dentist. I love her dearly, perhaps even more than my brother, to whom she is married, and this is my favorite brother we’re talking about. I have not hidden this from anyone. She is awesome, and I say so. My loyalties are crystal clear. Don’t whine to me about her, because I’m not going to agree with you, and it will not endear you to me. Are you really that stupid?

And while we’re at it, could you finish a sentence? Just one? For me? Because all your "I don’t know … you know … it’s not … that’s all I’m saying is that … " is driving me slowly insane.

Aangelica, you’re my hero.

85

Oh, God yes. I had one on a memorable day that also included 1)realizing we’d been running the wrong commercial for a client all month and 2)dropping my belt in the toilet when I was going to the bathroom and peeing on it. A folder cut was just the icing on the cake that day.

86

Signs you’ve been on the Dope too long - I think I remember you posting about that day way back when, ivylass. :smiley:

87

Gah!

By all means, call me up with a prepared list of part numbers to order. You make baby Jebus happy when you do your job well enough that I can do mine efficiently. To a lesser degree I am also perfectly willing to look up the parts for you from the catalog or from breakdowns. It takes longer, but if you’re missing that particular microfiche card or your computerized lookup system is down for whatever reason – well, hey, shit happens. It’s cool. I got ya covered. But for OG’S SAKE and for the LOVE of ALL that is HOLY and BUTTERED, do NOT keep me on the fucking phone while you thumb through a catalog looking for one particular part and not finding it and then telling me what you’re looking for and it’s something like this in that brand, but in the cheaper brand, where you don’t see it, but it has to be there because it would be silly for the cheaper company not to make it so there must be something like it but there are no pictures so you can’t accurately compare so hmmm let’s see :: thumb :: thumb :: thumb :: it’s sort of like this but it has to be the other kind, AND THEN START TALKING TO YOUR WIFE FOR FIVE MINUTES ABOUT LEAVING A CARTON OF CIGARETTES OUT IN THE RAIN THIS MORNING WHILE EXPECTING ME TO KEEP LOOKING FOR YOU! FOR 25 FUCKING MINUTES! You are not my only client. You aren’t even my BEST client. There were SIX OTHER PEOPLE waiting in the queue for 13 FUCKING MINUTES while you mentally drooled all over yourself. We lost 7 calls from people who just got sick and tired of waiting. Look this shit up yourself, AND ON YOUR OWN DAMN TIME! You are NOT worth the corporate waste of time I spent on you. I would have sent you packing sooner except I thought YOU were looking this shit up, since you said NOTHING to me for that little chatter break about anything you were expecting me to do.

Dickhead.

88

To be fair, I’ve been in a lot of bookstores lately where the selling of actual books is secondary to the running of coffee shops and selling CDs, DVDs and other paraphernalia, so I could understand their confusion. :wink:

89

Great…my memorable post is about a bad day at work. :smack: :wink:

90

I’ll add my miniscule gripes:

The parking fees have been raised again.

When I first started working for the University, it was $50 a month to park on campus. It was fine, since there were places off-campus to park for free if you didn’t mind a stroll. Then we moved to this Brand Spanking New Campus in the middle of High Crime Land. (There have been a couple of fatal shooting just outside of the grounds. Rumors that meth cookers have tried to break into the labs for materials and supplies.) If you want to risk your neck, park off-campus. Otherwise, cough up $60 a month to park in the U lot. Now, its $63 a month.

What does this money pay for? We’re told that there is no security in the lots. Its just a big area of tarmac with street lights and a guy that drives around and tickets cars without their parking passes. Are we giving the ticket guy a raise? I’d say fire his ass, get a security gate with electronic pass and save some dough. Oh, you are installing a security gate? But keeping the ticket guy? And building a parking structure, but you have to pay $75 a month to park there, unless you’re a Big Important Person, then you can park for free.

Ah, fuck it.

91

I’ve given up on this. This is a law firm no less. We use the internet for research on a daily basis. However, this is the same place where the senior partner thinks that email is evil and then proceeds to quote some [ancient, long retired judge living next door to him] as agreeing with him. Who gives a shit what Inches From The Grave thinks? Back in the day he probably had a rant against the invention of the pencil.

We don’t even get computer printed checks because senior partner’s legal assistant/bookkeeper refuses to learn the software (it’s really not hard at all, but she doesn’t want to do it, so she tells him it’s unreliable). So, we are left with paychecks scribbled out in her 100yr handwriting that forces me to play translator for the bank teller (no, those numbers there are FICA. Yeah I know they run into the box that my actual check is, but really, I make more than that.) I tried having them read the written amount, but it’s illegible.

Additionally, if another attorney walks in here and says “this is a priorty, needs to go out today” I’m going to staple his mouth closed. Everything is not a priorty. If you can’t figure it out, then haul your ass back to that lifeguard job you had in college where everything IS a priority.

Finally, when I give you the motion folder so that you can draft the response or review the response I drafted, stop asking me what it says. Read the damn thing. And, no, I’m not going to give you the gist of the caselaw anymore. I know you are fresh out of law school and have more important things to do with your new found wealth [snicker] like concert tickets in Vegas, Denver & LA, but to actually quote my gist as a direct quote from the caselaw - well, duh. That was a fun day.

92

After an incident at work, I’m thinking reused paper might be a good idea. A coworker was flipping through a file folder, but it wasn’t the folder that got her - she (IIRC) turned her head at the wrong time, while having the folder too close to her face, and turning pages.

Papercut across the white of her eye.

I work in an ophthalmology office so we’re kind of nonchalant about eye surgery, injections into the eyeball, etc., but everyone in the office who was told that story cringed. Papercuts hurt like a SOB already, but on the eyeball? Dang.

Back on topic: Office admin, please do not call me while I’m on vacation because someone in the office needs something ordered on a non-emergency basis. Even if I was in town I might not have returned your call. Boss: Chase down your own freaking orders; your dialing finger is not broken. You passed off enough of your work onto me and my coworker so that you could pursue your other research interests, why do you think I have time to be your personal secretary? Also, I’d show you how to print your own address labels except that you refused to be shown how to set up a testing machine when you knew you were going to be officially certified on how to use it. No wonder I’m a research assistant but getting paid like a low-level secretary; I’m expected to be one of those too.

93

To my Ultra-Liberal “PC beyond the point of all Logic and Common Sense” University and their ResLife staff;

Student A beats another student bloody, in front of his 3 year old son, using one of his son’s toys. We, the Security Officers, get to clean up the mess and escort the victim around for a while because of threats to his life and safety. Yeah, the victim had exposed himself to a girl Student A knew, but it didn’t justify this.

No criminal charges are filed.

Student A then ransacks the victims room and steals a number of things, including a laptop. Just to add insult to injury.

No charges are filed, Student A is allowed to remain in school.

Student A makes vague and indirect threats directed at other students, faculty members and Security officers, including me, IN MY PRESENCE on more than one occasion. I file a report declaring that I consider him a threat to my person and that of other security officers.

Nothing is done.

Student A then gets into a Domestic with the mother of his child, in front of the child. The University finally does something - it kicks him out of the University owned apartment.

Student A then repeatedly manages to get back into his room, despite his access allegedly being blocked and the locks being changed twice. He is arrested the first time and spends the night in jail. The second time he’s merely asked to leave.

Oh, but he’s still allowed to be on University property and use University equipment, he’s just not allowed to go back to his apartment.

…

Now look you stupid fucks. I don’t care what color he is, I don’t care what culture or religion or minority group he belongs to.

AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU!

Get this stupid motherfucker off campus and put his ass in jail where it belongs, before the jackass kills someone or injures one of your faculty members or security officers. Quit playing stupid PC games and quit trying to play nice. It’s not working and he’s not worth it.

Oh yeah… I forgot to say…

I’m going to Child Protective Services with everything I know about this piece of shit. I’ve seen him abuse his son right in front of me. I’ve heard how he’s taken his son to parties in the middle of the night. I can prove, from our own records, how he’s assaulted two people directly in front of his son.

94

Aaaaughhhhhhhhhhh! Spoiler box, please! I think I’m going to be sick in my office.

95

Just a bunch of underachievers. Try getting one from a cardboard box. I almost shipped a finger to Dell.

96

This one is minor, but it bears mentioning:

When I ask you if you are flexible with your flight times and connections and you say yes, when I come back on the line and give you what I feel are reasonable times (e.g. no red-eyes, no flights at the buttcrack of dawn if possible, no long layovers), DON’T TELL ME that you do not agree with the times/connections! If you have preferred flight times or want nonstop flights only, just SAY SO! I can work with you on this, really, I can! If you also want me to check specific flights, why not just tell me so I don’t have to waste three minutes checking to see what else is out there? If you just do your part then this whole thing can go a whole lot more easily for the both of us.