While I recognize that my job consists of immortalizing various peoples’ words in the form of verbatim transcriptions of what they say, and while many times what I work on is interesting, informative, and useful – and frequently filled with facts that I’m not allowed to divulge due to confidentiality issues, which makes it frustrating to want to straighten out all the idiots basing their opinions on nothing but the public information in Pit threads about various current events, while I know a whole bunch of nonpublic facts that I want to pound them over the head with, but know I’d lose my job if I did – may I say that the current transcript I’m working on, the transcription of a congressional hearing, is possibly the most annoying thing I’ve worked on in, oh, I don’t know, maybe forever?
It’s a congressional hearing consisting of a bunch of fellow congressmen testifying. In other words, there’s not one person there providing actual factual evidence; it’s just windbaggery at its finest. Or, if you will, a giant Circle Jerk on the Hill.
Oh, for the love of little green monkeys - the ‘D’ key is next to the ‘E’ key, on the standard “QWERTY” keyboard, and more, they are both usually keyed by the same finger when one is touch-typing.
And I won’t even mention putting the comma outside the quotation marks (although who knows, maybe you’re British) and “2nd” instead of “second.” Because I’m sure that you knew about both of those too, right?
What fucking world do these people come from where the proper response to “thank you” is another fucking “thank you”? Let me help you out, asshole: on my planet, it is customary to respond to “thank you” with “you’re welcome”. If you’re going to be an asshole, don’t say anything at all, or say “you’re welcome” in another language, or make something up, or even flip me off. Don’t be a jackass and thank me for thanking you. That’s not how it works. And what planet do these people come from where it’s OK to ask someone who is serving you an inane question and then cut him off to ask your spouse/BF/GF/parent/child/friend who’s watching little Sally before he can get two words of his answer out? How does this help these people? Why would they ask questions that they clearly don’t want answers to?
Also, what crazy Alice in Wonderland reality does the customer who believes that a price change was designed for him inhabit? Does he pour whole vials of LSD into his espresso? Is that why he buys straight espresso–he uses LSD for milk? Seems to be the only logical explanation. Yeah, the national corporate price change is specifically directed at one asshole in a cowboy hat in the East Hickville, San Diego County location. Go pray into your six-shooter or whatever the fuck you people do when you’ve had too much coffee.
And to the rest of you caffeine-addicted asshats–you know who you are–our store is not green and it does not have the name “Starbucks” in it nor does it have a drawing of a fucking mermaid anywhere nor does our menu have a “Frappucino” section because–get this!–
IT’S NOT STARBUCKS.
Was that clear enough? Apparently not, because after I finally got it into your head that we do not serve a “Mocha Frappucino”, you asked for a cup size in Italian despite the fact that you are a native English speaker and have probably never even been to Italy. OK, let’s try this again:
YOU ARE NOT AT STARBUCKS.
OK, apparently you still don’t get it. When you complain that your drink “doesn’t taste like a Mocha Frappucino”, consider that there may be a simple explanation:
YOU DIDN’T BUY THE FUCKING THING AT FUCKING STARBUCKS, YOU FUCKING TOOL.
The funniest thing about many of my classmates is they seem to be under the impression that their teachers have never been college students.
Conversely, service companies in general (not you, of course): if I have a reason for overlooking my bill–and I do–please listen to it and then offer a suggestion other than “bug your roommate harder and then ask your mom for help”. Or just tell me the truth and say “I don’t care about your problems.” Believe me, the reason I’m not receiving my roommate’s half of the bill from him isn’t for lack of trying. And wouldn’t you feel like shit if I’d told you my mom were dead or in jail or destitute?
I have a coworker who thinks her job seems to be to sit on the desks of the various male computer geeks who work here and talk baby-talk to them.
My boss would like to get rid of her, but unfortunately his boss’s desk is one of the ones she’s taken to sitting upon.
She does no actual work that we can discern, just sits on various desks and occasionally watches DVDs on her work computer. She hangs out in the stairwells with a couple of the male geeks here, and is often skipping into work an hour and half late every day (along with one of those male geeks - who should put it in his damn pants and come to work on time). Complaints about her to boss’s boss have been met with ‘I think she just needs someone to provide her with more direction.’
Yeah. Direction. Right to the unemployment office.
Another coworker is an arrogant shit heel who thinks that he is miles above everyone else and that it is his responsibility to assign people work to do. He’s on the same level as most everyone else in this office (except the two bosses and the senior guy in another department), but he still attempts to boss people around by saying things like ‘Since you all think you know everything, I’ll just have to start handing out assignments.’
He refers to his college internship as a very important job where he was extremely high ranking. He’s fresh from college and prior to being here, has no field experience with anything. His internship was basically data entry.
If only there was some way to hook those two up, the other 40 of us could live in peace.
Actually the ‘D’ is under the ‘E’, but yes it’s a common typo. Besides, an uneducated person would have most likely spelled it "stoled"instead of “stold”.
We have a Grad Student who was the Department Head’s gold boy. This student was smart and everything he wanted to do was cutting-edge and very important. The DH got his post docs and research assistants to do a lot of the work for Student’s thesis.
Now the DH has left for another University. The Grad Student joined another lab, but he still needs to finish his thesis. He tried to guilt trip the post docs into doing the work, but was very shocked :rolleyes: when they replied “Sorry, we work for other people now and we’re only doing their projects.” He threw a honest-to-goodness hissy fit! Then slunk away saying “I guess I’ll have to finish this at the new lab on top of the work they gave me.”
Hey man, it your fucking thesis. As I understand it, grad school sucks because its a lot of work, you must have missed that bit.
Okay, I’m guilty of this, but only because our Walgreens is NOTORIOUS for advertising sale prices and then not delivering at the cash register. And if it’s a difference of paying $6.99 vs. $3.99 for my sinus meds, you’re darn right I’m going to argue about it.
This has happened three times to me in the past two weeks, and every time, I’ve been right on the sale price.
Well, lets see. There was the lazy, shiftless supervisor who would sleep in his cubicle and foist all his work on his underling that wouldn’t complain… there was the large group of ladies that couldn’t smoke alone- always had to do it in groups of 10-15, 8 or 10 times a day for 15 minutes at a time, leaving the floor completely understaffed… and the psycho bitch.
D has been my cubicle neighbor since November, I think. He’s a nice guy - too damned nice. He’s *always * apologizing for stuff or saying stuff like “I’m such a geek” or “I’m so stupid.” OK, that’s mostly just annoying. What really pisses me off is when, out of the blue and for no apparent reason, he’ll say something like “Hi” or “How ya doin’?” over the cube wall at me. No, it’s not first thing in the morning or the first time we’ve chatted. I’ll be in the middle of something, and all of a sudden, he breaks my chain of thought.
He spends a lot of time looking for a new job, and I sure hope he gets one soon…
Can you explain this one to me? I answer “thank you” with “thank you” all the time. Silly me, I thought I was being extra polite, and thanking the person for their fine service. But evidently I was being an asshole, and doing things the “wrong” way, and being a jackass.
