Work/Social Obligation (Inauguration-related)

In My Humble Opinion
1

I want to get a sense of whether my social gauge needs recalibration by soliciting answers to two questions (found below, after setting up the situation).

There are ~5 employees where I work, one of whom is a foreign citizen (let’s call this person “A”). If any of this makes a difference, it’s an extremely casual work environment; for instance, employees are allowed (if not encouraged) to bring their dogs. The “office” is actually a house on the boss’s 80 acre property, located (at most) 1/4 mile away from the boss’s home. As my location indicates, it’s quite rural – no town closer than a 2 hour drive has a population larger than a couple thousand people.

Yesterday morning, our boss had a breakfast event at home, inviting people to come watch the inauguration. Everyone from work was invited (of course), as were neighbors (of whom about 15 showed up). Now, last week I was talking to my coworker (referred to here as “B”), who indicated some discomfiture that A didn’t want to attend. B said it was “snobbish” behavior, indicating that A thinks poorly of everyone else, and that A’s non-attendance would affect their (A’s and B’s) working relationship. And I found out later that at least one other person (not the boss) feels similarly.

The inauguration comes and goes, and A chooses to work rather than attend (too bad; A missed some great breakfast). I spoke to A later that afternoon, and got a vague sense of general unhappiness. After A left (early) for the day, I found out (from B) that the boss scolded A for not going to the inauguration. As I wasn’t privy to it, I don’t know what form the “scolding” took – while it might have simply been a mention in passing, it also might have been a “close-the-door-talking-to”. Either way, it doesn’t affect my fundamental questions:

  1. Would A’s decision not to attend the inauguration breakfast bother you?

  2. Do you think the boss had cause to scold A for not attending?

Personally, I don’t particularly care what A does with their time, and I think that B is being overly sensitive. Beyond that, I’m flabbergasted that the boss actually scolded A – to me, it’s A’s own damn business to attend or not. Not only is A not a U.S. citizen, but it a social, not really a work-related, event. But, on the other hand, at least three people in the office feel that A did something wrong.

What do y’all think?

2

  1. No, it doesn’t bother me in the last.

  2. No, from the information provided, it does not. However, not having all of the details, perhaps it wasn’t a scolding so much as your boss took it offensively?

3

  1. Wouldn’t bother me in the least – I’d probably be working with A while everyone else was watching the pomp and circumstance.

  2. Unless the boss made the breakfast a mandatory meeting, then no, I think the boss is an asshole, and if I were A, I’d be sending out my resume right about now if it were an actual scolding.

4

It wouldn’t bother me personally if a co-worker didn’t show up but I can understand how other people could see it in a negative light from a social perspective. I think that his boss was way out of line to chastise him about it in any way if that’s all that happened because that’s a completely different relationship and power dynamics count. It’s obviously not a required part of his job.

5
  1. Why would I care if Arnold wants to come or not? Good for him if he wants to DO HIS WORK instead of partying. I’ve always hated forced socialization with coworkers. The only reason I would have gone to the boss’s party would have been because I am sort of lazy and will take any excuse to get out of work (I consider the whole inauguration nonsense boring and wasteful, but, hey, watching it still beats working!).
  2. No. It sounds like the boss is a petty person who is taking personal offense just because Arnold didn’t want to come to his party. The flip side of “casual” workplaces is that the leadership can be unprofessional in some ways like this.
6

IMHO both parties are in the wrong. A should attend the breakfast not because it’s the inauguration, but because it’s helping to bind the team. B should not scold A because Obama is not A’s president: A is a foreign national and his allegiance is elsewhere and B should respect that.

7

Yes, that’s a possibility that actually hadn’t occurred to me.

I suppose I might note that I don’t think the boss is an asshole (at least not usually, which is one of the reasons I was so weirded out when I found out about the scolding).

Based on only a few responses, it would seem that my social compass is in OK shape. Which makes the whole thing weirder, IMO – I accept that for any given situation, my view may be an outlier, but it seems as though the majority at the office is comprised of outliers. Huh.

8

Inviting employees to a politically oriented event is something that should be handled very sensitively. It is unlikely to constitute illegal discrimination, particularly in such a small company (would depend on specifics of state law, it’s not a problem from the perspective of federal law). However, it just is one of those things where a good boss should exercise that extra measure of discretion. Particularly in light of A not being a US citizen. Not knowing the country, maybe politics in the workplace is an even bigger “don’t” than it is here. I feel strongly that the boss should not have scolded, and I certainly would respect a coworker’s decision not to attend something like that, unless we actually were employees of the campaign or something.

9

  1. Of course not. I would have declined in his place as well.

  2. Absolutely not. I don’t think it was right of him to hold a political event during work hours in the first place.

10
  1. No
  2. I guess it’s his company and he can do whatever the hell he wants. But that seems like a really stupid reason to piss off an employee.

But like you said, you don’t know exactly what your boss said to A. It’s entirely possible that B is being a brat and spreading rumors.